


my sweet prince

by isaksforelsket



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Smut, Getting Together, Light Angst, M/M, Masturbation, baby!Isak, kind of canon compliant at some points, older!even, tbh my man i wrote this for myself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-03-07 12:04:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 67,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18872851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isaksforelsket/pseuds/isaksforelsket
Summary: After meeting Isak, the younger brother of his friend Lea, Even becomes infatuated with the boy and no matter how hard he tries, he can't seem to stay away.





	1. tea and showers

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to read it, so I wrote it.
> 
> It's been a while since I've written fics, I've done it before but I might be a bit rusty at the moment so sorry.  
> I know this might not be everyone's cup of tea, but yeah, I don't know what to tell you my man. Hope you like it I guess, don't be mean if you don't. Cheers.
> 
> Warning: there's smut at the end of the chapter, if you don't want to read it then stop reading when my boy gets in the shower.

Grasping the straps of his backpack tighter, Even patiently awaited for Lea to open the door. He’s been here plenty of times before, his classmate being the only person he liked in that godforsaken class and the only person he was friends with, and therefore she was the only person that could help him study. Well, the only person he was willing to spend some time with.

He didn’t know much about Lea, no matter how many times they went out to a party and gotten drunk together, or had gotten coffee on those days they just needed to vent about uni or something that was on their mind, but even during those times she never let anything on about her personal life. But, what he did know was that she was a good and helpful student, which is the only thing he cared about as he found himself standing at her doorstep, with a backpack full of books and a mind full of determination to pass this damn class.

Rocking on the balls of his feet, he lifted his hand up to knock once again, but just as he was about to, the door swung open.

“Ha-” he stopped abruptly as he took in the person that opened the door. Stood in front of him was what appeared to be a grumpy little cherub instead of a twenty-one-year-old girl that he was expecting.

He looked at the boy and took in his dishevelled appearance. A mop of messy, yet beautiful, blonde curls lay on top of his head, the hair reaching just above his forest green eyes, one of which he rubbed with a small closed fist as he glanced up at Even with the other one. Even’s gaze darted to a line which lay across his pale cheek, most likely from laying on a pillow. While all his features were delicate yet captivating at the same time, the most striking part of his face were his lips. A curved Cupid’s bow that would make anyone envious, and a plump, red bottom lip. The first thought upon seeing that mouth was anything but innocent, the thought of feeling them pressed against his almost overwhelming, or feeling them wrapped around his... He chastised himself in his mind for the filthy thoughts that consumed him the second he saw this beautiful creature. This boy couldn’t be a day over 16, he shouldn’t be thinking of him in such a manner, no matter how beautiful he was.

He knew he had to say something before the boy realized he’s staring at him like a creep.

_Quick, quick, just think of something, literally anything._

“You’re not Lea,” Even cringed as soon as the words left his mouth, but he couldn’t help but be flustered, which was shocking for him. Usually he never lost his nerve, he always knew what to say, how to act, but it seems like all his charm left him the second he lay his eyes upon the boy. He was just about to open his mouth and apologise as he heard a small scoff.

“No, I’m not, clearly. I’m sorry to tell you but she’s not home right now.” He said as he ran a hand through his curls, making them even messier than they already were.

Even closed his eyes shut and let out a long sigh, why does he have the worst luck?

“Do you know if she’ll be back soon? We were supposed to meet up but my phone died on my way over, so I don’t know if she sent me a message or anything.” He licked his lips when he finished, but he didn’t fail to notice how the boys eyes tracked the movement, when he glanced up Even raised his eyebrows in question and the boy flushed the loveliest shade of pink and looked down before biting his lip lightly and glancing up at Even through his eyelashes. Even was so fucked.

“Umm, I can try calling her if you want.” Even nodded and the boy stepped to the side and gestured for him to enter.

As Even took off his shoes, hung his denim jacket on the hook next to the wall and followed pretty boy, he couldn’t help but let his eyes wander down his body. Although dressed casually, and clearly having just woken up from a nap, he still looked delectable. His grey sweatpants hugging his round ass just right, showing off the curve that Even so desperately wanted to touch, wanted to get his lips on. The black T-shirt he wore was loose and hung down one of his shoulders, showing pale smooth skin covered in a few freckles. He imagined tracing them with his fingers, counting each one. He shook his head slightly to clear his mind, trying to stop thinking of him in this way. He frowned lightly as he tried to keep his focus away from the swaying hips in front of him.

“I’m Even by the way.” He said as they walked into the kitchen.

“I’m Isak.” The boy, Isak, said as he turned his head to the side to look at Even and give him a small smile. Even couldn’t help but imitate it.

He watched as Isak patted his pockets, and then look around until he released a small ‘aha’ as he grabbed his phone off the kitchen counter.

“You can sit down if you want.” Isak said and gestured towards the chairs surrounding the dining table. Even put his backpack on the floor and pulled a chair out, he sat down and looked around the room while Isak put the phone next to his ear and waited for his sister to answer. Well, he assumed it was his sister. Lea never said anything about having a brother, but then again, she never said anything about her family at all. But their resemblance was undeniable. The eyes being the most telling sign, they were both the same striking green colour. But somehow, Even found Isak’s to be far more enchanting.

“Hey Lea. Yeah. Okay, where are you now? Shit, okay. I’ll see you soon.” Even looked up when he heard Isak sigh, Isak pocketed his phone and glanced up at Even. He blushed as he noticed Evens gaze on him, and Even couldn’t help but think it was the most endearing thing he had ever seen. God, this pretty boy will be the death of him.

He licked his lips before he spoke, “will she be back soon?”

“She says she’s stuck in traffic. She won’t be long; you can just chill here until she gets in if you want. I’ll keep you company.” Isak smiles.

“As long as you’re here.” Even easily fell back into his flirty persona, he grinned at Isak who huffed out a small laugh, and looked away from Even.

“Do you want anything to drink? Coffee or tea?” Isak asked after a few seconds, a small flinch flashing on his face before he neutralised his expression

Even frowned slightly before speaking, “coffee sounds good.”

“Oh, thank god.” He heard Isak mumble under his breath and Even couldn’t help but let out a burst of laughter.

“Do you not know how to make tea?” He watched Isak raise on his tip toes to reach for a mug on the top shelf, his t-shirt lifting up and revealing a sliver of skin, making Even inhale sharply. Even brought his attention back up right as Isak turned around and scoffed, his eyebrows scrunched up in mock offence.

“Of course, I do. I am the master of making tea.” He tilted his chin up defiantly.

“Okay then, master, make me a cup of tea.” He smirked as Isak opened his mouth slightly to say something and then closed it.

“I- okay.” Isak stuttered out and turned around before reaching into the cupboard and taking out two different boxes. He turned towards Even and looked down at the boxes before looking up at Even through his eyelashes. Even raised his eyebrows and tilted his head to the side. As Isak stood frozen, Even sighed softly and stood up. He walked over to Isak and took the boxes from him, his fingers brushing softly over Isak’s soft, small hands. He felt his skin tingling where it came in contact with Isak’s, but he chose to ignore it completely.

“Come on, I’ll show you how to do it.”

As Even walked around the kitchen, preparing two cups of tea, he could feel Isak’s eyes on him, tracking his every move. He couldn’t help but glance over to him, and when he caught his eye, Isak looked down and that wonderful blush covered his cheeks once again. An overwhelming desire to reach out and touch it took him over.

He handed the mug to Isak and smiled at him as the boy took it.

“So... That’s it?” Isak asked with his eyebrows slightly pulled together.

“I thought you knew how to make it already, why are you so surprised?” Even asked, lifting one eyebrow up before both him and Isak walked over to the table and sat down.

“I-I do, I just do it differently.” Isak spluttered before taking a sip of the tea.

Even pursed his lips and nodded, “sure you do, next time you can show me how you do it.”

“I will, and it’ll be the best tea you’ve ever had.” Isak said confidently and once again lifting his chin up defiantly at the end, making Even smile.

“Lea is your sister, yeah?” Even asked after a beat of silence.

“Yup,” Isak said, popping the P.

“Have you moved in recently or? I haven’t seen you the other times I’ve been here.”

“No, I’m only staying here for a few days cause the flat share I live in is a bit crowded at the moment.”

“You live in a flat share?” Even asked with a slight frown as Isak nodded but kept quiet, making it clear that he’s not going to elaborate on as to why he’s not living with parents.

As Isak fell quiet and looked to the side towards the window, the sun shone through it, making his golden curls stand out even more, and Even took the opportunity to truly look at him and admire every inch he could see.

He didn’t know what it was about this enticing creature, why was he so infatuated by him? Was it that beautiful mouth, the mouth he’d already had plenty of indecent thoughts about, especially when Isak seemed adamant about darting his tongue out every once in a while, leaving them looking so wet and pink and inviting. Or was because of those eyes? Those beautiful, green eyes that sparkled like emeralds whenever the sun hit them at just the right angle? Was it the way the boy blushed at every bit of attention Even gave him, at every brush of their fingertips? He didn’t know, and yet he desperately wanted to find out. He knew that Isak was beautiful, that was quite obvious, but he had never felt such a strong desire to find out everything and anything there is to know about another person, he’d never felt such a pull towards someone, but here he was, wondering about every aspect of Isak’s personality and life.

Suddenly, he heard the door open and both him and Isak turned towards it to see Lea enter and take her shoes and jacket off.

“Fuck, Even, hi. I’m so sorry, traffic was horrible.” She walked over to him and leant down to give him a short hug, the strands of blonde hair hanging from the bun on top of her head tickling his face slightly.

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it.” He said as he watched Lea walk over to Isak and plant a kiss in his curls before ruffling them, making him scrunch up his nose, Even thought he had never seen anything as adorable.

“You okay Issy?”

“Yeah, I’ll leave you two alone,” Isak said as he stood from the chair, “I’ll be going home tomorrow Lea.”

“You sure? You can stay for as long as you want.” She said as she sat down.

“Yeah, Noora is going to stay at Eva’s for a bit but I’ll come back here and let her have the room for a few days in a few weeks. I don’t like letting her sleep on the couch all the time.” Isak took his mug and put it into the sink before turning back around and facing Even and Lea.

“I’m going back to sleep. It was nice meeting you, Even.” Isak said with a small smile as he started walking towards, what Even presumed was, his room.

“You too.” He smiled at Isak one last time as he watched him close the door. He kept his gaze on it for a few more seconds before shaking himself out of his stupor and remembering that he wasn’t alone.

He looked towards Lea but luckily, she was busy taking her laptop out of her bag so she didn’t notice Even ogling her baby brother.

Lea looked at down at the table and when she caught sight of the mug still half filled with tea, she frowned.

“What the fuck? Did he make tea?” She spluttered out.

Even laughed lightly at her shock before speaking, “no, I showed him how to do it.”

“Ah, right okay. He wasn’t being a bitch or anything? I know he can be a grumpy little shit.”

Even snorted and shook his head slightly, “no, he was nice, sweet really.”

“Yeah, I guess he’s okay for a 17-yearold.” She said as she opened her laptop, and took several books out of her bag. Even frowned, and took his own laptop out of his backpack before turning it on.

17? From the second he first saw Isak he’s been thinking of fucking him and all the things he wants to do to him, and he’s only 17. God, he’s going to hell for sure.

“Right,” Lea put her hand on the table, “what do you want to start with?”

\---

The rest of the afternoon was rather uneventful. Even spent it talking to Lea about the Psychology class he now regretted ever taking, and pointedly ignoring the nagging voice in the back of his head that kept reminding him that Isak is in the room next to them, probably looking like an angel while sleeping.

_No, stop thinking about him._

He focused on the books in front of him, and on talking to Lea, he did everything he could to distract himself and stop himself from going to Isak and talking to him about anything and everything.

Soon enough, it was almost 6 o’clock and they’d spent nearly 4 hours diligently studying, and Even just wanted to go home and relax.

He sighed heavily into the comfortable silence as he rubbed his hand over his face, while Lea kept typing on her laptop.

For the first time in a few hours, he glanced towards Isak’s room. There hadn’t been a single sound coming from it ever since Isak shut the door behind him. Even frowned slightly, it’s the middle of the day, shouldn’t he be out? Doing stupid shit? Instead of spending the majority of the day locked in his room, and sleeping.

“Is Isak okay?” He asked before he could stop himself, he looked towards Lea who now had a small frown on her face.

“Yeah, why?” She said, sparing him only a glance as she kept typing.

“Well, he’s been sleeping all day. I just figured he’s sick or something.” He said hurriedly, hoping that he didn’t seem too interested. Luckily, Lea didn’t seem to find anything suspicious. She rolled her eyes fondly and smiled softly.

“He’s fine, he just has trouble sleeping so he just tries to get as many hours as he can whenever he gets the chance.” She groaned as she stretched her arms over her head, clearly just as tired of the work they’ve been doing as Even is.

“I’m done, I can’t anymore. If I read one more word of this my head will explode.” Lea buried her face in her hands before rubbing one of them over her eyes.

“Yeah, I should probably head home.” Even said as he shut his laptop.

“You sure? You can stay for dinner with me and Is?” And fuck, that was a tempting offer, being able to see Isak before he left. Being able to hear his voice and make him blush even more. But... He couldn’t. He had to get out before he did something he’ll regret, like hit on the pretty boy and make Lea realize what a perv he is for being interested in someone 4 years younger than him. He didn’t even know if Isak liked guys and even if he did, he didn’t know if he was interested in Even, and he wouldn’t ruin his friendship with Lea just because he couldn’t control himself around a pretty boy, no matter just how pretty he was. No, he definitely couldn’t stay.

“No, that’s okay. Thanks though.” He stretched his back before grabbing his backpack from the floor and putting all of his stuff away. Lea watched him with her head leaning onto her hand, her elbow placed on the table.

“Okay then, but you better stay next time.”

“I will, don’t worry. I know you’re obsessed with me.” He winked at her before walking over to the door and putting his shoes and jacket on, not missing the way Lea scoffed at his remark. The same way Isak scoffed earlier.

_No, stop that, get him out of your head._

“I’ll see you on Monday.” Lea said before leaning on her tip-toes and pressing a kiss to his cheek. Even smiled and ruffled her now untied hair.

“Of course.” He opened the door, and gave Lea a small wave before walking out of her apartment and down the stairs.

He tried not to think about how he was walking further and further away from Isak as he headed towards the tram station, he tried to clear his head and just focus on putting one foot in front of the other, that’s all he thought about.

Once he sat on the tram, he put his headphones in and let random songs fill his mind for the next 20 minutes. And he definitely didn’t think about a particular set of green, curious eyes.

Soon enough, he was walking into the building of his small apartment. An apartment that represented everything he wanted when he was younger, when he was in an unhappy relationship, and his mind was filled with self-deprecating thoughts. This place represented his independence, his growth, the fact that he survived, he got better, and he’s here, and he’s trying.

He unlocked the door and entered, shutting it softly behind him.

He leaned against the wall with one hand as he took his shoes off, shrugging his jacket off and walking across his apartment to his room, the wooden floor creaking slightly beneath his feet.

It wasn’t much, that’s for sure. A large bed covered with white sheets was pushed up against the wall next to the large window which lit up the room, sunlight shining through the white curtains; a night stand was placed right next to the bed, a small lamp and about a dozen of DVD’s laying on it, waiting to be put back onto the large shelf which covered one half of the wall next to the bed. A desk lay opposite the bed, covered with crumbled up papers, pencils, and old notebooks, beneath it was a small trash can overflowing with thrown out sketches that Even didn’t deem worthy of keeping. The walls were covered in posters of movies and artists that had an impact on him, movies that he’ll remember and appreciate forever. Particularly Romeo+Juliet and Moulin Rouge, the two posters that hung just above his bed. Sketches and quotes adorned the large white closet which was pushed up against the wall right next to the door. An acoustic guitar hung on one of the walls, a talent which he picked up when he was younger, something that his aunt tried to teach him before she passed away, but he kept trying to learn and eventually became quite good at it.

Taking his backpack off, he placed in on his neatly made bed before walking to his closet and getting some clothes out.

He slowly walked to the bathroom and went in, he closed the door and locked it behind him before pulling his T-shirt over his head and throwing it into the hamper next to the sink. He turned the shower on and took the rest of his clothes off. He carefully stepped into the shower so as not to slip, and proceeded to close his eyes and lift his head up, letting the warm water hit his face. He grabbed the vanilla scented shampoo and scrubbed it into his hair, letting the scent fill his nostrils, before leaning back and letting it wash out.

As one of his hands got stuck in his hair and he pulled on it gently, thoughts of a curved Cupid’s bow and curious green eyes entered his mind. He couldn’t help but imagine his hair being grabbed by someone else, by smaller hands, by a boy with the sweetest face.

And suddenly all he could think about was Isak, him being right there with him, how he’d look with water running down his body. All he wanted to do was press that boy against the wall and lick every inch of him.

He didn’t know what he wanted more, to get Isak on his knees and that lovely mouth wrapped around him, or if he wanted to turn him around and bury his face between those perky ass cheeks of his and taste him, put his tongue on him, inside of him, spread him with his fingers.

All he knew was that he was getting hard, and he didn't even have time to feel guilty about what he was doing and what he was thinking of as he trailed his hand down his body, shivering and biting his lip to contain a small moan as he pinched his nipples before continuing down and finally, finally reaching his destination and wrapping his hand around his now fully hard cock.

He groaned as he slipped his thumb over the head before pulling his hand back down, the water making everything so wet, and if he squeezed his fist just the right way, he could imagine a soft mouth wrapped around him.

His mind was flashing pictures of Isak on his knees, stroking him with his small, unsure hand and wrapping his lips around him, slipping his tongue over the slit, looking up at him with those lovely eyes, and hollowing his cheeks and sucking. And the next moment he was imagining pushing him against the wall, and shoving his cock deep inside of him, stretching his ass around his cock, making him scream as he pushes into him and hits just the right spot.

Even was now thrusting into his fist, his breath getting ragged as he got closer to his climax. He gripped his cock harder, imagining how tight Isak’s ass would feel around him, how he’d make him whimper and beg, he’d be so sweet, so compliant, he’d let Even do anything to him. And with that thought, he pushed into his fist and released a loud moan as he came all over his hand and the shower wall.

All that was heard in the room was the water still running and Evens heavy breathing. As he calmed down, he couldn’t help but feel regret wash over him, just as the shower was now washing away the mess he’d made. The mess he’d made while thinking of Isak. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

He couldn’t do this, think about his friends' little brother in that way, it was wrong. Isak was sweet, innocent, he shouldn’t be thought of like this, especially not by someone 4 years older than him.

He finished washing his body, scrubbing as if he’d be able to clean his thoughts if he washed himself well enough, but it wasn’t working. The feeling of guilt consumed him.

He turned the shower off and stepped out, he grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist as he stood in front of the mirror above the sink. He wiped the steam off of it with his hand and looked at himself. His cheeks and chest were flushed, lips red and plump from where he was biting them and he had to look away. The knowledge of what he had just done still persistent in his mind.

He quickly dried himself and put sweatpants and a T-shirt on before he head out into his room, his safe haven.

He grabbed his laptop from his bag and lay down onto his bed before setting his laptop on his stomach and turning it on, deciding once again to let a movie distract him from his inner turmoil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you if you've made it to the end!!  
> I don't know how long this fic will be, but I have a general idea of how I want it to go.  
> Btw. I know fuck all about the Norwegian education system, I'm just making shit up because I didn't want Lea to study Film with Even, but I wanted them to have a class together. So, let's just say that Even took a science-y class just for the extra credit (we love making shit up in this household, yes ma'am).  
> If you want to ask me any questions about this fic, or if you have any headcanons/prompts you'd like me to write in the future (smut, fluff, anything), you can go over to my Tumblr:  isaksforelsket 
> 
> Twitter: Twitter: vandervaltersen


	2. parties and pastels

Through the veil of deep sleep, Even could still hear the persistent noise ringing by his head. Letting out a small groan, Even shoved his face into his pillow; hoping the quiet would envelop him once again and he’d be able to fall back asleep. But sadly, that was not the case. The noise wouldn’t stop. Even stretched and reached his hand out from underneath the covers, feeling around on his night stand before finally grabbing his phone and looking at the blindingly bright screen; squinting slightly he answered the call and put the phone next to his ear.

“What do you want?” He said with a croaky voice, slowly blinking his eyes open before coughing slightly to clear his throat.

“Okay first of all, rude.” He hummed as Mikael spoke, the sound of cars driving by heard in the background.

“Second of all, wait, “they stopped as Even heard them shuffling around, “did you just wake up?”

“…. No. Been up for ages.” Even said as he rubbed his hand over his eyes and sat up, trying to wake himself up.

Mikael snorted before they spoke, “right, whatever. Well, get up sleeping beauty cause I’m coming over.”

Even yawned before moving his phone away and glancing at the time. 10:26, fuck. He groaned and threw himself back onto the bed, throwing his arm over his eyes.

“Just let yourself in.” He sighed, knowing that there’s no way Mikael will go back home and come over later.

“I was going to. Okay, bye I need to try not to walk into anyone for once.” Mikael said before hanging up, leaving Even open mouthed as he was about to say bye back. He sighed and put his phone down.

He flung the covers off of himself and kneeled on the bed to get closer to the window where he opened the curtains, squinting slightly at the sudden brightness. He leaned back as he stretched his arms above his head, scrunching his nose up before turning around and throwing his legs off the side of the bed.

As he got up and walked to the bathroom, he rubbed his hand over his face and ran it through his hair, trying to tame it at least a little bit.

While brushing his teeth, he heard the door to his apartment open and shut, before hearing shuffling in the small hallway.

“Even! I’m here and I’m so queer!” He rolled his eyes as he heard Mikael enter, he took his toothbrush out of his mouth before spitting in the sink. He opened the door to the bathroom to see Mikael throw themselves onto the couch and take their phone out of their pocket.

“Do you have to say that every time you come here?” He said as he walked back to the sink and turned the tap on.

“I’m sorry for speaking the truth. I say it in case there are any straights around here, I want them to know I’m better than them before they even meet me.” He heard Mikael say as he bent over to wash his mouth out. He cleaned his toothbrush and put it into the cup in the cupboard above the sink before he bent over once again and washed his face. He grabbed a towel and dried himself off before putting it back on the towel bar and walking out.

“I don’t think that’s how it works.” He said as he sat down on the other end of the couch.

“Yeah, yeah whatever. Can we go get some coffee?” Mikael lifted their legs up and put them on the coffee table in front of them, crossing them at the ankles as they looked at Even expectantly.

Even gestures towards the small kitchen with a frown on his face, “there’s literally coffee right there.”

Mikael groans as they throw their head back and run a hand through their long brown hair.

“Do we have to go over this again? It’s not the same.” They said as they pinched the bridge of their nose.

“It’s coffee.” Even said with a smirk.

“It’s better in a café. I swear, I need some iced coffee, right now.” They leaned towards Even as they said pleadingly.

“It’s the middle of November, why are you still drinking iced coffee?”

“I don’t care, if I don’t get some in my system I’ll fall apart. Seriously.”

“That’s a bit dramatic, don’t you think?” Even said as he leaned back, putting his arm on the back of the couch.

Mikael snorted and rolled their eyes slightly, “that’s rich coming from you. You saw a boy last week and then called me the next day talking about how, and I quote, ‘he’s so pretty I’m going to die, oh my god Mikael, what do I do?’”

Even rolled his eyes and looked to the side. Yes, he might have told Mikael about quite possibly the sweetest boy he’s ever meet, can you blame him?

“I said one thing about him and that’s it, and I definitely did not say it like that. I got it out of my system.” He shrugged one of his shoulders as Mikael looked at him with their head tilted to the side and their lips pursed.

“Just say you jerked off and go.” Mikael rolled their eyes before they stood up.

Just as Even opened his mouth to deny this ridiculous allegation, Mikael spoke “can we go now? I have shit to do later so I won’t be able to go out.”

Even didn’t even have time to say no because Mikael was already walking to the front door and putting their shoes on.

“Okay, why do you ask if I have no choice?” He stood up and started walking towards his room, “Just give me a second to get dressed and then we’ll head out.”

“Hurry up babe.” He heard Mikael yell, making him roll his eyes with a fond smile on his face.

\---

As he opened the door to the coffee shop and gestured for Mikael to go through first, making them do a small bow as they walked past, the smell of freshly baked pastries placed on the transparent glass cabinet near the counter opposite the entrance, and rich coffee being made, hit him in the face. The warmth of the place making him inhale, his arms still stiff from the November cold. The place was relatively empty; two girls were sitting in the corner, right next to the window; a student diligently typing on his laptop, two large books splayed out on the table in front of him; a mother holding a cup with one hand, and pushing a stroller back and forth with the other, looking at her child with a smile on her face.

“Go sit, I’ll get the coffees.” Mikael said as they stretched their neck to look at the pastries.

He opened his mouth to tell him what he wanted, but Mikael cut him off, “I know what you want, coffee, loads of sugar and milk, blah blah blah. I get it, you want diabetes in a cup. Go sit.”

Even huffed slightly before swiftly turning around and walking towards the small round table placed next to the wall. He sat down on one of the two chairs, taking his beanie off and running his fingers through his hair, making sure it’s not a mess. He unzipped his jacket but kept it on, still affected by the cold from outside.

He heard a joyous laugh and followed the sound, turning his head to his left his eyes landed on the two young girls sitting next to the window. The laughter was coming from the girl with long red hair, her head thrown back and her hand wrapped around a cup, her other hand clutching her chest slightly. As her laughter simmered down to giggles, she looked at the girl in front of her whose coloured lips pulled into a fond smile as she played with a strand of her blonde, almost white, hair.

Even looked away, not wanting to intrude on the moment, but the scene left him feeling warm inside. He glanced towards the counter where Mikael was now making an order. He watched them shoot a kind smile towards the barista; a young, seemingly nervous, girl. Suddenly, Even felt a vibration in his pocket, interrupting his thoughts. He quickly pulled it out and looked at the screen.

**Lea**

_Guy from my class is throwing a party tomorrow, wanna go and get drunk? Pretty please. We haven’t gone out on a Friday in so long_

Even huffed out a laugh before unlocking his phone to reply.

_I’ll let you know, I’ll probably come though_

He pocketed his phone and looked up just as Mikael was walking towards him, holding two cups. Mikael extended their arm with one of the cups towards Even as they approached him.

“Thanks,” Even said as he took it and brought it up to his nose, inhaling the smell of the coffee, feeling the cup warm his freezing hands up. Mikael sat down and took their jacket off, immediately grabbing the cup and taking a sip.

“Do you want to go to a party tomorrow?” Even asked before setting the cup down and taking his jacket off, feeling sufficiently warm by now.

“Who’s hosting?”

“I have no idea, Lea asked me to go.” Even said as he glanced towards the two girls from before as he heard the scraping of the chairs, the blonde one still had an amorous look directed towards the red head, who seemed to remain oblivious as she continued on telling a story and waving her hands around, occasionally grazing her hand on her friend, a blush spreading on her cheeks immediately.

“Is that the girl from your psychology class?” Even hummed in confirmation and kept drinking his coffee as he looked back to Mikael.

“Oh, I can’t. I promised my mom to have dinner with them tomorrow.” Even nodded slowly in understanding, knowing that Mikael was rather close to his family now that they’ve come out to them and they accepted them straight away, lifting a weight off of their shoulders.

“So, what movie did you stay up late watching? Spill the tea sis.” Mikael cringed just as Even groaned slightly and threw his head back as he looked at the ceiling.

“I need to stay off Twitter, I said ‘yas bitch’ to my mom yesterday, easily the most terrifying moment of my li- Stop laughing!” Mikael hissed at Even as he kept laughing at his friend. He could only imagine the face their mother would have as they said that; her mouth dropped open and her eyebrows raised high, her glasses hanging low on the bridge of her nose, an incredulous look on her face.

“Okay, sorry sorry.” Even said as his laughter tapered off. He looked at his friend who was shaking his head slightly as they took a sip of their iced coffee.

“Right, so what movie was it?”

\---

Grabbing the remote off of the coffee table, Even turned the TV on as soon as he got home after spending several hours with Mikael. He threw himself onto the couch, bending his arm back to put it behind his head, turning his head to the side to look at the TV. After several minutes spent mindlessly watching a random show, he sighed and took his phone out. He unlocked it and opened his conversation with Lea. Hovering his thumb over the keyboard he tried to think about what to do. He should go out, it’s been so long since he’s let himself relax, since he’s let go. He’s been so focused on keeping up a routine and studying to keep up with uni that the first half of the semester almost flew by and he’s barely went out or thought about anything other than his obligations. Picking on his lip with his thumb and forefinger, he started typing with his other hand.

_what time are we going tomorrow?_

_oh thank god. I’ll let you know tomorrow, I’ll drive!! If we get drunk I can just leave my car there, we can get the tram home and I’ll pick it up the next day._

_okay cool cool, let me know what’s happening then_

_will do xx_

Even sighed softly as he locked his phone and put it on his chest, he turned his head to the side and tried to pay attention to the show before he inevitably got up to get his laptop and worked on an essay until the evening.

\---

Sitting on the chair on the back porch, Even put his ankle up on his knee and pulled a packet of cigarettes from the pocket of his jacket; taking one out, he placed it between his plump lips and took a small yellow lighter out of the box. He lit the cigarette expertly, closing his eyes and inhaling the hot smoke into his lungs. As he put the lighter and the box away, he moved the cigarette, holding it between two long fingers as he put his hand down onto the arm of the chair. He opened his eyes as he blew the smoke out into the night; the booming bass from the party inside still reverberating in his bones; the coldness of the night being a refreshing change from the hot atmosphere inside. He turned his head to the side as he heard the door behind him open; looking in the direction of the sound, he saw Lea stumble out, a slight sway in her step as she looked at Even and gave him a small smile. Her cheeks were flushed from the alcohol and the dancing, she crossed her arms and her body shivered a little, the cold affecting her already.

“Hey there, you okay?” Even smiles at the caring tone of her voice despite her drunken condition as he watched her sit on the chair next to him.

“Yeah, just needed a break for a bit.” He tilts his head back towards the house. Lea hummed as she looked up into the starry night sky, the moon slightly illuminating her pale skin, the sweat from the party making her shine, the strands of her hair falling down onto her shoulders from the messy bun tied up on top of her head.

“Even, I’m really drunk.” She slurred as she turned her head towards him, Even huffed out a laugh as he took another drag of the cigarette and looked towards her.

“I can tell.” He blew the smoke out to the side.

“I-oh shit.” Lea said softly as she leaned forward to take her buzzing phone out of her back pocket. Even continued to smoke as Lea talked on the phone.

“What? Now? Oh my god I’m going to beat your ass I swear.” Even looked towards her as she rested her head on her hand, her arm bent at the elbow and placed on her knee.

“Yeah, I’ll leave now. I’ll see you soon.” She sighed as she hung up.

“Everything alright?” Even asked as he put his cigarette out into the small ashtray placed at the centre of the table in front of them.

“Isak needs me to go pick him up, apparently Jonas left him at a party to go hook up with someone and he has no money to get a taxi or tram.” She groaned before looking at Even.

“The taxi is gonna cost a fortune, I can’t drive like this.” She sighed and tilted her head back as she closed her eyes.

“I can drive you,” Even said without even thinking about it, “I haven’t been drinking at all tonight.”

He stood up and reached for Lea, grabbing her small hand and helping her stand as well.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to make you leave.” She looked up at him with sincerity in her green eyes.

"It’s no problem, don’t worry about it.” Even said as he was already helping Lea walk to the back door, opening it for her and entering the house. The crowd of people enveloping him once again, he struggled to get through as he held onto Lea’s arm not to lose her. He lead her to the kitchen, opening the fridge and grabbing a bottle of water and handing it over to her in hopes of sobering her up a bit. Quickly, they reached the front door and searched for their jackets, and soon enough they exited the house and headed for the car.

\---

Opening the door with--a now significantly more sober due to the water--Lea trotting behind him, Even was hit by the loud sound of a poppy song playing from a blasting stereo placed in the living room. A bunch of teenagers were spilling out into the hallway, making the inside unbearably hot. Making sure that Lea is behind him he started making his way through the crowd, thankful for his height because he could see almost everyone in the crowd. He looked out into the living room, people were crowding on the couch, the coffee table in front of them covered in empty beer bottles and cups, a haze of smoke filling the room; people were jumping to the song, while several groups stood to the side and tried to talk over the music. But Isak was nowhere to be seen. As he glanced towards Lea, who was craning her neck to look for her brother, he grabbed her hand and she looked up, he tilted his head towards the hallway and started walking, Lea following close by. While the music was still loud, it was significantly quieter as they walked into the hallway, and slid one of the doors open. Even stopped abruptly at the scene in front of him, he barely felt Lea slam into his back and exclaim a small ‘ow’. She pushed him to the side slightly and looked up at him with a scowl on her face before looking into the kitchen.

Facing them sideways, Isak sat on the kitchen counter, his arms wrapped around a tall boys neck, his hands trailing softly through his dark brown hair, sometimes gripping tightly when one of the boys hands travelled down his back and grabbed a handful of Isak’s ass, or trailed up his t-shirt, making goosebumps raise on his skin. They could see their tongues sliding together, and Isak released a small whimper, making the boy smirk against Isak’s lips. Trailing his hand down the side of Isak’s thigh, the boy pulled his leg around his waist once he reached his knee, making Isak wrap both of them around him and arch his back, the boy setting his hands on Isak’s jean covered thighs. Even was shocked into stillness, not knowing what to do or say at the scene, but luckily Lea coughed slightly, making Isak, and the boy, look towards them. Isak looked at Lea, her arms crossed against her chest and one of her eyebrows raised as she cocked her hip. But Even wasn’t focusing on her, he couldn’t take his eyes off of Isak, whose hands were still tangled in the boys hair. His eyes were almost entirely black, his pupils blown completely; his lips spit slicken and red; his hair was sticking up in all directions and messy from the strong hands that were gripping it earlier, hands that were now holding Isak’s small waist as Isak looked at his sister seemingly confused, presumably the alcohol in his blood stream slowing down his thinking process.

“What are you doing here?” Isak slurred slightly as he tilted his head to the side, his eyebrows pulled together as he looked at Lea. The boy next to him looked back and forth between the siblings, looking a bit pissed off at the interruption.

“What? You called me and told me to pick you up, dumbass. Now get down and let’s go home.” Lea stared ahead, Isak still looking at her before he rolled his eyes softly and turned his head, he leaned his forehead against the boys shoulder and sighed softly before looking up and glancing towards Even, a small smile pulling at his lips straight away, making Even feel flustered all of the sudden.

“Hi, Even!” He said as he raised his small hand to give him a wave and kept smiling, very clearly drunk as he hopped down from the counter, the boy helping him not fall as he held onto Isak’s waist, his hands gripping tightly, making sure that Isak is stable enough to stand on his own.

“Halla.” Even said slowly, making Isak smile even more. Isak turned his head back to the boy and leaned up on his tip toes, giving him a kiss before patting his chest, the boy carding a hand through Isak’s curls before Isak headed towards Lea with a stumble in his step.

“See ya later, Chris.” He threw a peace sign up as he left the kitchen, Lea holding onto his elbow.

“Bye, Issy.” Even hears a deep voice as he exits the kitchen and follows Lea and Isak, the former still holding onto Isak so as to make sure he doesn’t fall down. They stumbled through the house, walking into people along the way, Isak occasionally turning around as if to make sure Even is there, and when he locked eyes with him, he’d smile softly and turn back around, and Even was left grinning like an idiot while trailing behind Isak and Lea.

Luckily, they managed to get through the crowd rather quickly and soon enough they were getting into the car, Lea strapping the seatbelt around Isak who slumped against the door in the backseat as soon as she closed it, before she slipped in the front seat next to Even.

“You can sleep at my place tonight, so that you don’t have to wait for a tram or anything.” She said as she buckled in, leaning her head back on the seat as Even turned the car on and headed out onto the road.

“Yeah, thanks.” He said, making Lea hum in response before she looked out of the window.

The drive to their apartment was spent in silence, the radio quietly playing some random song Even never heard, but besides that no one made a sound, except for Isak who would occasionally sniffle softly and shuffle around, making himself more comfortable in the back. It didn’t take long for them to reach their destination, all three of them getting out of the car, Isak a bit more sober at this point but still unable to keep his balance without stumbling to the side occasionally, making Even grab his hand so that he doesn't fall down.

They were standing in front of the apartment building as Isak leaned into Even's side, the alcohol still in his system. Even held him up with one arm wrapped around his shoulders and the other holding onto his bicep, his entire side tingling from the contact. Slowly, but surely, they entered the building, Even leading a languid Isak into the elevator which took them to the third floor. As they entered the flat, Lea walked to the other side of Isak, putting her hand softly on his back.

“Let’s take him to my room, you can take the guest room tonight.”

“I can walk by myself you know.” Isak mumbled as they walked towards Lea’s room. Lea opened the door and put the light on before heading over to the bed and moving the covers off of one side of the bed. Isak removed himself from Even’s side--Even missing the contact as soon as he lost it--and headed to the bed, throwing himself on his stomach and shoving his face into the pillow, apparently ready to pass out right then and there, with all his clothes on. Before Even even had the chance to turn around, Isak turned on his back and started unbuttoning his jeans. Even turned around so as to give him some privacy, reaching for the door handle and stepping outside of the room.

“Good night,” he said as he shut the door softly, hearing two soft ‘good nights’ in return before he headed to his room for the night.

He quickly shed his clothes off and folded them before placing them on a chair under a desk. He got into bed, covering himself with the blankets, and fell into a deep sleep.

\---

It took a while for Even to wake up fully, spending an hour or so tossing and turning in the soft, warm bed. He opened his eyes slowly, before leaning up onto his elbows, looking at the night stand to try to locate his phone. He threw the covers off of himself as he got up and walked towards the neatly folded pile of clothes on the chair, he reached into the pocket of his jeans and took his phone out before trying to turn it on, but to no avail.

_No battery, great._

He got dressed into his last night clothes, feeling fairly awful about it. Slowly, he opened the door, making sure not to wake anyone, but he could hear noise coming from the kitchen. Stepping out he looked at Lea who was busy cooking breakfast; she turned towards him and smiled.

“I left a spare toothbrush for you on the counter in the bathroom. If you want you can shower as well.” She said before she turned back around to the stove.

“No, that’s okay. Thanks though.” He headed towards the bathroom to relieve himself and to brush his teeth, hoping to get home soon so that he can go back to sleep.

“Sit down, breakfast is almost ready.” Lea said as soon as he shut the bathroom door behind him once he finished. He walked towards her, sitting down on a chair, he bent his elbow and placed it on the table in front of him, he put his chin up on his hand, trying not to fall asleep.

As Lea put a plate of scrambled eggs and a cup of coffee in front of him, he heard a door open. He looked to the side and thanked god that he didn’t have food in his mouth because he would’ve definitely choked. Isak was walking towards them, rubbing one of his eyes with a closed fist, his cute nose scrunched up slightly, his smooth pale legs were revealed as he was only wearing a pair of pastel pink boxers; Even looked up quickly, not wanting to look at him like that, not when he doesn’t have permission, but the memory of the sight was burned into his mind.

But, his beautiful face was more enchanting than any other aspect of his body anyways. Even knew he was attracted to him, there was no denying that, but it was more than that. He didn’t just want to fuck him--no matter how gorgeous he thought his ass was--he wanted to hold him, kiss his beautiful cheeks, make him blush and smile and laugh, and he wanted so much more. He wanted to give him everything he has.

And as he looked at Isak sitting down opposite him before looking up and giving Even a small smile, the only thing Even could think was...

_I’m so fucked._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello. I hope you like the chapter, if not don't be mean to me as I am very fragile. Thanks.  
> If you have any prompt/headcanons that you'd like me to write (currently creating a list of all the things I want to write, and I'd like to post smaller fics on Tumblr, so if you want any type of smut or anything go there) or if you have any questions about this fic, you can message me or send me an ask on my Tumblr: isaksforelsket  
> Twitter: Twitter: vandervaltersen


	3. promises and cardamom

“… so, let me just remind you that your essay is due for next week. Please don’t forget about it.” 

 _Finally._  

Even shut his laptop and put it in his backpack before throwing it over his shoulder as he pushed his chair back to stand up; the scraping on the floor was heard all around the classroom, the students desperate to get out after spending far too long listening to the sound of their old professor talking about something far too complicated to be understood so early in the day. He rushed down the stairs, following the horde of students already exiting the room.

He walked out into the hallway, the rest of the students spilling out behind him. He rushed through the crowd, hoping he doesn’t miss the tram and he gets home soon, wanting to get some well-earned rest. 

He frowned as he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket; slowing down, he reached into his jacket, after taking his phone out he looked at the screen, careful not to walk into anyone, glancing up every few moments as he read the text. 

 _Fuck._  

 **Lea**  

 _we need to study cause if I fail this exam I will cry and you really don’t want to see that. Can you come over tomorrow pls?_  

He sighed as he weighed his options, biting his lower lip lightly as he approached the station. 

He was aware that usually this wouldn’t be a problem at all, because he knew he was in desperate need of catching up on that godforsaken course, and he knew that him and Lea worked well together. But there is a small chance that he’s been avoiding going to her place ever since they had breakfast together a week ago. Ever since Isak spent the whole time sending him small coy smiles, and looking up at him with those lovely forest green doe eyes until Even couldn’t take it anymore and he quickly gathered his belongings and left with an excuse of meeting his mother later in the day. So maybe he’s been reluctant to go there, knowing that Isak might be there; so, he did the only thing he thought would work, would give him enough time to get Isak out of his head— he always made up excuses, always tried to deter Lea from inviting him over. But to no avail. It seems as if he has no choice. 

He leaned against the wall of the station once he arrived, releasing a sigh. He looked back to his phone, trying to figure out what he should do. 

He knew that the only thing stopping him from saying ‘yes’ was Isak, but he knew that all this was was him being attracted to a pretty boy, and it would pass as long as he didn’t see him for a while. 

No matter how much he thought about his pretty smile or the way he scrunches up his nose, or the way he can come off as mean towards Lea but really, he’s a sweetheart; he knew that this would pass soon enough. If only he could manage to avoid him… for the rest of his life, or at least for a few weeks. 

But fuck, he really needed to study. 

He started typing before he changed his mind, knowing that he didn’t have a choice. 

 _yeah sure, I’ll come over tomorrow_  

He put his phone away as he raised his hood over his head to protect himself from the harsh winds. He tried not to groan out of frustration, knowing he put himself into a bad situation. 

All that he could do was hope and pray Isak wouldn’t be there to distract him.   
 

\---

 

The second he knocked on the large wooden door, it was opened, revealing a rather flustered Lea. Her hair tied up in a messy ponytail, strands of it spilling out over her face and shoulders; her old black T-shirt rather faded and worn out, much too large for her small frame; her grey sweatpants also oversized, one of her socks pulled over them slightly. 

Before he could say anything, he was rushed in, “I’m ready, I’ve had 2 red bulls and my heart is racing. Let’s do this.” 

She was already throwing herself on the couch, two books lay on the middle seat, her laptop resting on one of the arms of it. Even stood in the middle of the room, looking at her for a few dazed moments before shaking his head and taking his shoes and jacket off. He headed towards the couch, placing himself on the opposite side of Lea. 

“You seem stressed,” he said with a smirk, hearing Lea scoff slightly. 

“When am I not stressed?” 

Even took his laptop out, imitating Lea’s position and opening the necessary material, getting ready to get the work over with. 

He read a single paragraph before looking over to Lea, “Right, what the fuck does this even mean?” 

 

—- 

 

Everything was fine, he was focused, they were determined and nothing could bother them. Every once in a while, they’d ask each other questions, talking about theories they didn’t understand, and occasionally taking breaks to complain or grab a snack. Everything was fine, until it wasn’t. 

Suddenly, Isak saunters out of his room, his phone in his hand; apparently oblivious to other people in the flat as he looked up and stopped abruptly. “Hi,” He said, making Lea mumble out a small hi back before focusing back on her laptop. 

But Even was unable to say a word—as he usually was when Isak entered the room—but this time it was for a reason other than him being a flustered wreck. Isak’s legs were completely uncovered, the only garment covering them was a pair of knee-high socks; a pair of ridiculously small shorts—that Even was convinced were actually made for girls—came up to just above his thighs; his t shirt hung low, baring his freckled shoulders slightly. 

Isak looked at Even and gave him a small smile as he continued walking to the fridge, making Even look at all that smooth skin, wanting to touch it and feel it against his fingertips; feel the goosebumps raise as he trails featherlight fingers on his lovely thighs. He knew his mouth was hanging open, he knew he should stop looking, but fuck, he couldn’t. 

He looked away quickly as he remembered he should be working, coughing slightly to clear his throat, a blush covering his face. 

He tried to focus back on his work, he looked down with his brows furrowed, hoping Isak would leave the room and stop torturing him, but then he heard Isak open the fridge, the sound making him glance up. And he watched as Isak bent over, reaching for something on the bottom shelf, his shorts leaving nothing to the imagination, his ass looking so fucking juicy and delicious, all Even wanted to do was put his mouth on it and grip it tightly. He had to bite his lip to keep a moan at bay, not wanting to make a complete idiot out of himself. 

As Isak turned around, Even was unable to move his eyes quickly enough; he looked up at Isak, hoping he hadn’t been caught staring, but Isak’s eyes were stuck on him, and Even didn’t know what to do. He knew that Isak had noticed where he was looking, there was no denying that, but he didn’t know how to get himself out of this situation, should he apologize? Should he just ignore it? 

But then, a lovely pink colour covered Isak’s cheeks as he looked down and bit his lip, trying to contain what seemed to be a smirk. He looked up one more time as he walked past him, licking his lips slowly, bringing Even’s attention to them before heading back to his room, and as Even spared a glance at him out of the corner of his eye, he could swear there was more of a sway to his hips than there was before. 

“Even.” He startled slightly as he heard the voice after Isak shut the door, having completely forgotten about his surroundings. He glanced to the side with his eyebrows raised in question, thinking it was going to be something about the course he was meant to be focusing on. But the look on Lea’s face made him believe otherwise. Her brows were furrowed as she crossed her arms over her chest, she bit her lip lightly as she glanced between Even and the door to Isak’s room. 

“What’s wrong?” He said with a frown on his face, trying to think of what could’ve happened during that short period of time he was lost in his thoughts. 

“What the fuck is going on with you two?” She said as she gestured towards Isak’s room, her face a picture of confusion. And Even’s eyes widened slightly in shock, fuck. 

“T-there’s nothing going on,” he stuttered out, his palms getting sweaty already. 

That’s the thing though, there is nothing going on, so he had no idea why this was making him nervous. He knew neither of them had tried to do anything, and he knew he wouldn’t have ever tried anyways, and he was sure Isak wouldn’t have either. 

But the problem is that Even wanted something to happen, he wanted to talk to Isak and get to know more about him, and he wanted to eventually take him out. The problem is that he wanted something to be going on, but there just wasn’t, and there never will be. 

Lea scoffed and rolled her eyes, she looked back at Even and raised her eyebrows, “don’t lie Even, I’m not stupid. I can see the way you’re looking at him.” 

And Even didn’t know how to get out of that one. Subconsciously he knew it was obvious. He knew that he was constantly checking Isak out, his eyes trailing over his body and eventually getting stuck on his beautiful face, the face that would get lowered and covered in a blush every time Isak noticed him looking. And he definitely knew that he shouldn’t be looking at him when his fucking sister was right there next to him, but somehow every time he saw Isak, everything else disappeared. He forgot about the people around them, about the things he was supposed to be doing, and the only thing he saw was Isak, Isak, Isak. 

He looked down at his lap, biting his lip as he tried to think of what to say. 

He looked up, turning his body slightly towards Lea, “there’s nothing going on, I swear.” He said with the sincerest look on his face he could muster, trying to convince her he was speaking the truth. 

“You do like him though?” Lea said, making Even open and close his mouth a few times, not knowing what to say. 

“I think he’s attractive,” he eventually settled on, thinking it’s probably the safest thing he could say in the situation. 

Lea sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, shutting her eyes for a second before looking back at him, “listen, I know you’re nice, I do,” She paused slightly, licking her lips and glancing to the side, “but I need you to stay away.” 

Even kept looking at her, his mouth slightly open, the statement making his heart tighten for some reason. 

 _You knew nothing would happen already, stop it._  

“He’s a sweet kid, really, and I know that you are too and that you’d treat him right, but that’s the thing, he’s a  _kid_. He’s been through way too much and I don’t want him to get hurt, especially not by you. I just can’t risk him getting hurt by one of my closest friends, it would make things awkward for both of us if you two got together and then broke up. And the age difference between the two of you makes it likely that something will fuck it up eventually.” 

Even released the breath he was holding, swallowing thickly before nodding at Lea. 

“Don’t worry about it, I wasn’t going to do anything anyways,” he looked at her, giving her a small reassuring smile even though it pained him to do so. 

“Thank you, and I’m sorry for this,” She said as she glanced towards Isak’s room. 

“It’s okay, I get it.” He said, making the corners of Lea’s lips lift up slightly. 

She turned back towards her laptop, Even doing the same, feeling relieved the conversation was over. He took a deep breath and focused on his work, ignoring the disappointment he felt in the back of his mind, knowing that nothing will ever come of this connection with Isak. He knew that Lea could be wrong, that maybe him and Isak would work out, but he wouldn’t risk it. He wouldn’t risk losing Lea as a friend. 

The next time Isak came to the living room, Even didn’t look. 

 

\--- 

 

He gripped the handle above his head tightly as the tram moved through the busy city; the vehicle was luckily almost empty, spare for half a dozen people, including himself. An old woman sat on a seat, her cane held tightly in her wrinkled hand; a young girl with short brown hair sat in the back, her head leaning against the window as she looked at the world passing her by; two teenage boys sat on one of the seats, their hands clasped tightly together as they shared a pair of earphones; a man in a suit stood nearby, a water bottle held in his hand. 

He tried not to sway, glancing out of the corner of his eye at the man now drinking, not bothering to close the bottle once he finished. Even looked out through the window, at the pink hues covering the sky, the outside eventually becoming less and less blurry as the tram came to a stop. 

He shuffled slightly, his grip becoming tighter as he looked to his side, the door opening to reveal… Isak? 

He closed his eyes and inhaled, just his damn luck. It’s been two days since his conversation with Lea, and now he sees him right there, on the same tram as him. All he could do was hope Isak wouldn’t notice him and he’d go to the other end, avoiding him entirely. 

But no, apparently every deity in the universe hated him because Isak kept walking straight, his eyes locked to the screen of his phone, until he stood right next to Even, apparently completely ignorant to his presence. 

Even took the moment to appreciate his beauty; his lovely curls spilled out from under his snapback, making Even want to tuck one of them behind his ear, or take it off and run his hand through his hair; there was a small line between his eyebrows as he frowned at whatever was so interesting on his phone; his parted teeth were biting into his lower lip before he released it, leaving it slightly red; his long eyelashes casting shadows on his cheeks, cheeks which Even wanted to put his hands on, wanted to kiss and caress. But he couldn’t, he looked away quickly, remembering his conversation with Lea. 

But he couldn’t help himself, he looked back down at the pretty boy in front of him, “halla.” He spoke before he even thought about it, not wanting to be rude and not say hello. 

Isak looked up quickly, his eyes widening slightly and his lips parting, “hi.” He squeaked out, coughing slightly afterwards before quickly looking down again, an all too familiar blush already adorning his cheeks. Even smiled at the boy fondly as he watched him look at the floor before glancing up quickly at Even, thinking that he wouldn’t notice, the blush growing darker when he realised Even’s eyes were still on him. 

Even though Even could easily spend hours just looking at this beautiful creature, the silence was stifling and it was definitely becoming more than uncomfortable. And Isak seemed to sense so as well, judging by the awkward shuffling, and his eyes darting around his surroundings. 

“Nice chat,” Even said, making Isak laugh slightly, the act making him feel as if the only mission in his life is to hear that sound coming from Isak over and over again. 

But the conversation stopped once again. 

 _Fuck._  

Isak looked up, opening his mouth he was just about to say something but the tram made an abrupt stop, making the man holding the water bottle stumble forward, spilling the liquid all over Isak’s front, soaking his T-shirt, making it stick to his lithe body. Even inhaled sharply just as Isak gasped, looking at the offender. 

He pulled his t shirt away from his body, all while waving off the man's apologies, saying ‘it’s fine’ through clenched teeth. 

“Are you far from home?” Even asked, worrying that Isak will have to stay in the cold with wet clothes. 

“Not really, I’ll have to wait outside for my roommate to come home anyways, I forgot my keys.  _Fuck_ ,” he squeezed his t shirt slightly, making the water spill out onto the filthy floor, right in front of his feet. 

“You can come to mine and change if you want,” Even said without thinking, only thing on his mind getting that frown off of Isak’s face and not letting him stay outside and get sick. Isak looked up at him with widened eyes, looking shocked at the offer. 

“I can lend you some of my clothes and you can wait at my place for your roommate to come home, so that you don’t have to stay outside in the cold. I’ll put your clothes in the dryer while you wait,” Even shrugged casually, all while dying on the inside. 

“I-I don’t want to bother you,” Isak said as he was zipping his jacket up. 

“Don’t worry about it, it’s no big deal,” Even licked his lips before continuing, “come on, you’ll get sick if you go outside like this.” 

“Yeah okay.” Isak gave him a small smile, making Even nod and look out through the window, trying not to focus on the fabric sticking to Isak. He would occasionally glance down at the boy as their shoulders bumped together. 

 _Fuck, it’s going to be a long ride._  

 

—- 

 

And that is how, 10 minutes later, he found himself unlocking the door to his small apartment with a soaking wet Isak trailing behind him, his jacket wrapped around him tightly as he shivered through the cold. 

He walked in, taking his shoes and jacket off; hearing Isak do the same behind him. 

“I’ll get you a T-shirt, do you need some sweatpants as well or are you good?” 

Isak looked down at his pants before looking up, “um, yeah actually. My whole front is wet as fuck.” 

Even nodded slightly, “come on.” 

He turned and headed towards his room, hearing Isak padding softly behind him. 

He opened the door, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding once he realised it was relatively clean. He opened his closet and searched for some clothes for Isak and himself to wear, he looked to the side to see Isak shuffling from one foot to the other, looking at Even’s room. 

He came up to one of the drawing covered walls, Even’s small sketches and quotes he liked covered a section of it completely, giving the boy an insight into Even’s personality. And suddenly he felt flustered; what if Isak didn’t like them? Would that mean that he didn’t like Even? That he didn’t like who he was? What if… 

“Did you draw these?” Isak interrupted his thoughts as Even kept shuffling through his closet, trying to find some pants he thought would fit Isak’s smaller body. 

“Yeah,” he choked out, waiting or hoping for Isak to say something. 

“They’re good.” Even bit his lip to contain a smile. 

“You think so?” 

“Yeah,” Isak huffed out a laugh,” really funny.” 

Even allowed a small smile to take over his lips, reveling in the happiness he felt at Isak’s approval. 

He got the clothes, finally, and looked over to Isak who was still carefully observing the sketches, a smile on his face, making Even feel happier than he has felt in a while. 

“Here you go,” Isak looked at him, glancing at the clothes he held before stepping forward and taking them, Even still holding a pair of sweatpants in his hand for himself. 

“Thank you,” He said as he looked up and gave him a small smile. Even smiled at him but didn’t move. making Isak raise his eyebrows. 

“I’m not going to give you a show if that’s what you’re waiting for,” he said with a smirk, tilting his chin up slightly. 

Even widened his eyes and moved straight away, “sorry, sorry. I’ll go change as well. Let me know when you’re done.” 

Isak gave him a small nod and Even turned around, leaving the room and shutting the door softly behind him, releasing a sigh before running his hand through his hair as he headed to the bathroom. 

Quickly changing his pants, he threw his jeans into the hamper before looking into the mirror. He tried fixing his hair, making it look somewhat decent before leaving the room, heading towards the couch. 

He sat down before throwing his head back and closing his eyes, thinking of the situation he has gotten himself in. 

After weeks of imagining the situation, he finally has Isak in his apartment, but the reasons for his presence differed greatly from the ones he imagined. 

He took his phone out of his pocket, trying to distract himself while he waited for Isak to finish. 

After a few moments of mindlessly scrolling through social media, he heard the door open. He looked over just as Isak was closing it, and Even had no words. His T-shirt hung low on Isak, covering his narrow hips; his collarbones were revealed as it hung low around his chest; Even’s sweatpants were far too long for the boy, making him cuff them slightly so that he doesn’t trip as he walks. Isak gripped the clothes he was holding in his hands, his curls swaying slightly since he removed his snapback. 

“Umm, thank you for the clothes.” He said as he shot Even a smile, making Even return it. 

“No problem. I’ll go put yours in the dryer, it won’t take long,” he got up from the couch, grabbing the pile from the boy's hands, “you can just sit down, I’ll be a sec.” 

He grabbed Isak’s clothes and quickly put them in the dryer, heading back out into the living room to find Isak sitting on the couch, glancing around the apartment. taking in his surroundings. 

He watched him pat the pockets slightly, a frown on his face. 

“What you looking for?” 

“I think I left my phone on the table in your room,” Isak said, going to stand up. 

“I’ll get it,” Even turned and went into his room, spotting the phone straight away. Just as he went to leave, he noticed a blunt lying on the edge of the table. 

He knew Isak smoked, Lea had mentioned it in passing, but Even remembered.  

He always seemed so tightly wound, a constant frown on his lovely face, a sly sarcastic remark just on the tip of his tongue whenever Lea said anything to him, and now he seemed more nervous than usual. Maybe this would help calm his nerves. 

He grabbed it and left the room, approaching the couch he spoke, “got it.” 

“Did you find it?” Isak said, slowly looking over to Even. 

“Well yeah, but also,” he lifted the blunt up before putting it between his lips, watching a smile spread on Isak’s face as he handed him his phone. 

“Heeey,” Isak said as Even tilted his head back towards his room. 

“Come on,” he walked in, grabbing his lighter off of the table before settling on the window sill, Isak copying him on the other side. 

He lifted his hand, cupping it around the blunt hanging from his lips, his other hand bringing the lighter up, lighting the end quickly. He breathed in slowly, the smoke filling his lungs with a practiced ease. 

He could feel Isak watching his every move, he glanced towards him as he handed him the weed. Isak repeating his previous actions. 

“You’re a second year, right?” Even said as he watched Isak blow the smoke out, his eyes fluttering shut as the smoke left his mouth. He opened his eyes, focusing his gaze on Even. 

“Yeah, you too?” 

Even hummed in confirmation before looking over at him with a small frown on his face, “aren’t you supposed to be in school now?” 

Isak snorted slightly as he leaned his head back against the wall, “I still have my 10% that I can use up.” 

“Is it only 10%?” 

“15% if the principal likes you,” Even inhaled after Isak passed it over to him, he watched as a smile grew on Isak’s face, “but I don’t think he likes me.” 

 _How could anyone not like you?_  

He laughed slightly instead of voicing his thoughts, choosing instead to keep them to himself. 

They spent ages on the window sill, their fingertips touching every time they passed the blunt to one another, making tingles run through Even’s hand. 

He felt himself relaxing around the boy, forgetting about everything else in his life as he focused on the sound of Isak’s laugh and voice fill his usually soundless room. He would occasionally reach over and nudge Isak’s knee with his hand as he was talking, and each time Isak’s cheeks would get rosy, and Even would get braver, wanting to see that sight once more. But then, Isak rolled his eyes and looked to the side, in a way far too similar to the way Lea had done it, the reminder of his friend making Even pull back slightly as he remembered the promise he made to her, a feeling of guilt settling in the pit of his stomach. 

In a spare moment of rare silence, he heard a growling noise, he looked over to Isak who shut his eyes, his nose scrunched up slightly. 

Even smiled, “Are you hungry?” 

 

\---

 

Isak was sitting on top of the kitchen counter, swinging his legs lightly, the tops of his heels occasionally hitting the counters. The sun spilled out through the window, illuminating Isak’s golden curls, and making his green eyes shine brighter than usual. Even kept glancing towards him, imagining what it would be like to be able to step in between his legs and kiss those beautiful lips. 

As they kept piling copious amounts of spices on the toasties, Even realised he had never felt better. Isak’s mere presence seemed to lift his mood, making him feel as if he can truly be himself, as if he can let go and laugh without his mind wandering off anywhere and his mood growing dark. 

As he handed Isak the plate, he hopped of the counter, his curls bouncing slightly. He followed Even back to his room, his safe space, and sat down on the floor after Even. 

“Ready?” Even grabbed this concoction, bringing it closer to his lips as he watched Isak do the same. 

He bit into it, immediately regretting the decision, he scrunched up his face as he looked over to Isak, a frown on his lovely face already as he looked down to the offending meal. 

“Something doesn’t taste right,” Even said as he kept chewing. 

“It’s absolutely terrible,” Isak said in what seemed to be astonishment, the blunt remark making Even snort slightly. 

“It’s so bad, it’s somehow good,” Even tried to repair the situation, the food not tasting that bad anymore. 

“It’s so bad, it got even worse,” isak said as he put the plate down as Even laughed. He picked his beer up, taking a sip of it, presumably to wash the taste out of his mouth. 

“You’re the one that wanted to use all those spices,” 

“The key is to use a lot of cardamom,” he watched Isak take another hesitant bite. 

“Is that the secret?” 

Isak nodded slightly before saying in a sing-songy voice, “cardamom.” 

Even laughed, tilting his head back against the headboard of his bed. 

“Have you heard about my rapping?” Isak asked all of the sudden, making Even look at him. 

“Yeah, Lea told me,” he says, remembering the shock he felt when Lea mentioned it in passing. 

“Come on then,” he told Isak, wanting to hear it for himself. 

“Give me a beat then,” he said, swinging his head to the side when Even started beatboxing, “E-box give me the beat!” 

Even burst out laughing, not being able to stop himself. 

“Come on, pull yourself together,” Isak yelled slightly, but the expression on his face void of any annoyance or anger. 

The sound of a phone ringing interrupted them both, Isak looked around before grabbing it from where it lay beside him. 

“Hey Chris,” Isak said with a smile on his face, but Even looked away quickly. 

 _Fuck. You idiot._  

He spent the whole afternoon with the boy, growing more and not convinced that he was perfect and he had completely forgotten that Isak was already taken. He already had a boyfriend, who he presumably cared a great deal about, judging by the fond smile on his face as he spoke to him. 

Memories of him and this Chris hooking up at that party flashed through Evens mind, he bit his lip and looked to the side, wanting to clear his head as soon as possible. But no, all he could do was think about how earlier he was imagining kissing Isak senseless as he sat on the counter in his kitchen but he had forgotten that somebody already kissed him like that. 

The conversation was stiff after Isak ended the call; Isak’s mood still cheerful but Even’s suddenly sour. 

Shortly after, Even made up an excuse about having work to do and Isak quickly gathered his things, his now dry clothes placed in a bag when Even told him to just give the clothes he was wearing to Lea. 

As he watched Isak walk away from the door, his heart hurting more and more with each step the boy took, Isak turned slightly to give him a smile and a small wave, one that Even returned. And he couldn’t help but feel as if Isak was taking a piece of Even with him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!! Thank you for reading this chapter.  
> As always, if you have any questions or anythig to say, comment down below cause I cry whenever someone comments anything tbh. Thanks!
> 
> If you want to ask me any questions about this fic, or if you have any headcanons/prompts you'd like me to write (I mostly do smut tbh), you can go over to my Tumblr where I post prompts whenever I get them:  isaksforelsket   
> Twitter: vandervaltersen


	4. friends and disappointment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: just a tad bit of smut after Even sends the text to Isak, so I'd skip that part if you don't want to read it. It lasts until the end of that chapter, until the line thingy whatever

Burrowing his face further into his warm scarf, Even sped up his already rather hasty steps, eager to get out of the cold as soon as possible and into the warmth of Mikael’s small flat. Sniffling slightly, he slowed his steps as he finally reached the door to the building.  

Reluctantly pulling his hand out of the warm pocket of his jacket, he rang the doorbell, his teeth chattering as he waited for Mikael to open the damn door.  

“Hold on a sec, I’ll be right there, it won’t open,” he heard Mikael say through the intercom, making him groan at having to spend more time than necessary out in the cold. 

Swinging the door open after a few moments, Mikael stood in front of him; their hair pushed back, a few strands in front of their face; an oversized hoodie hanging off of their body, the large black sweatpants they wore making them look larger than they actually were.  

Rushing him inside, Mikael stepped to the side, “fuck it’s cold outside, I’m glad I’m not you.” 

Walking up the stairs, Even threw a scowl in their direction before looking back in front of him, not wanting to fall down, “fuck you.”  

Rushing past him, Mikael hurried to open the door to their apartment and get inside, Even walking in after him.  

Taking his shoes off and placing his jacket on the hook next to the door, Even walked further into the flat, heading towards the living room while Mikael was already getting mugs out of the cupboards to make coffee, knowing that Even would want some.  

Sighing quietly, Even threw himself onto the couch, placing his feet on the coffee table in front of him as he ran a hand through his messy hair, proceeding to rub his hands together to warm them up at least a tiny bit.  

Glancing towards him, Mikael frowned, “Okay what’s wrong?” 

Looking up at them, Even tilted his head to the side and pursed his lips as he watched Mikael stir the coffee they’d made. “Nothing, why?”  

They scoffed and looked back at Even for a moment with their eyebrows raised before grabbing the mugs and carrying them over to the living room; they lowered themselves onto the other side of the couch as they placed the cups on the coffee table, cursing under their breath when they spilled a little.  

“Usually you’d burst in here and start talking straight away about a movie, something’s that’s pissed you off or a dog you saw or some shit, and I’m not hearing any of that right now, and frankly Even, I miss it.” They looked at Even as they leaned forward to grab a tissue from the box placed on the table, wiping the mess they’ve made before grabbing the mug and sitting back, “so, what’s wrong?”  

Throwing his head back and releasing a sigh, Even looked back at Mikael, shaking his head slightly before reaching forward and taking a sip of the coffee, the warmth of the cup warming his hands up as he looked down at his lap, “I like someone.”  

“Ooookay, what’s the problem here exactly?” Inhaling deeply, Even looked at Mikael as he leaned his head back against the couch. 

“I can’t do anything about it,” he took another sip to prevent himself from pouting like a child at the reminder of the predicament he’s in.  

“Okay, why not?” Mikael asked with a frown on their face.  

“He’s the little brother of a friend and she asked me not to do anything because she doesn’t want our friendship to get ruined if it doesn’t work out between us or something,” Even blurted out, not even wanting to think about it as he rushed to get his words out. He looked over to Mikael when they didn’t say anything, watching them bite their lip lightly as they furrowed their brow in thought.  

“That’s so stupid,” they said suddenly, making Even snort.  

“How is it stupid?”  

Rolling their eyes, they looked at Even as if the answer is obvious, “because it is. What? You’re not going to try anything with this guy just because she told you not to? You’re going to miss out on the chance to be happy just because of the smallest chance that it might not work out? If we thought like that about every single potential relationship then no one would ever get together because everyone would just be scared of it not working out in the end. Every relationship has the potential to fail and for people to end up getting hurt, but there’s also a chance that it’ll work out and you’ll both be happy, so why not try it out?”  

Sighing, Even rubbed both his hands over his face, frustrated with himself and the entire situation, and even more frustrated with the fact that Mikael was making sense, but it didn’t mean anything, there was no use.  

“He has a boyfriend,” Even mumbled under his breath as he glanced towards Mikael, who was now looking at him with pity in their eyes.  

“Okay, well I don’t know if I can help you there bud.”  

Rolling his eyes, Even put his coffee on the table and lifted his legs up on the couch, leaning his forehead on his knees and turning his head towards Mikael, “but he’s so sweet.”  

Scoffing slightly, Mikael drank their coffee and raised an eyebrow as they looked at Even, “is it a serious relationship though?”  

“I don’t even know, I only saw them making out once and they seemed really close, and then we hung out at my place a few days ago and his boyfriend called him and he got this soft, fond look on his face and Mikael, I want to cry.” Scrunching their nose up and drawing their lips up in a tight line, Mikael looked at Even sadly, knowing that there’s not much Even could do.  

“Does he like you too though? Maybe he wants to be with you as well,” biting his lip lightly, Even looked to the side as he considered Mikael’s question.  

 _Did Isak_ _like him?_  

There were far too many shy glances and flushed cheeks to make Even believe that Isak wasn’t interested at all, but then again maybe he’s just a naturally flirty person. He’s never seen him interact with anyone other than Lea and... well, the guy that had his damn tongue in his mouth. So how the hell is he supposed to know what Isak is like with other people? The day they spent together was filled with soft smiles and Isak’s cheeks turning a shade darker whenever their hands touched, but Even just couldn’t do anything about it, knowing that Isak was taken.  

“Doesn’t matter,” Even said, “I’m not going to sit here and overthink every interaction we’ve ever had, it’s a waste of time thinking about him if nothing’s going to happen.”  

Nudging his side with their foot, Mikael made Even look at them, “Do you know what you need?”  

Even arched his brow as he waited for Mikael to give him some advice. 

“You need to get laid.” Laughing slightly, Even sighed as he pursed his lips, raising his eyebrows and nodding slightly, “Yeah, fuck I really do.”  

“I know, you’re so pent up I feel like you’re going to explode soon. We’re going out this weekend,” Mikael said, putting their empty mug down on the table and leaning closer to Even.  

“Where though?” Even asked, a smile tugging on his lips already.  

“I don’t care, you need to fuck and I need to get out of this apartment, I haven’t left it in days, I can’t remember what the grass looks like,” Even laughed, his mood improving as he forgot about all the problems he had created for himself.  

Nodding his head, he smiled at Mikael, “Yeah, okay we’ll go out.” 

 

* * *

 

The booming bass of the party was heard slightly in the bathroom, the sounds of the girl in front of him moaning as she reached her climax prevalent at the moment. Pulling his hand away from underneath her skirt, they both panted slightly as they waited to catch their breath, Even’s pants unzipped and her skirt ruffled up from where Even pulled it up.  

Pulling away from her, Even zipped his jeans up as she turned around to look in the mirror, trying to wipe the smudged lipstick off of her face and tame her hair.  

As she took one last look at herself after fixing her clothes, she turned around and looked at Even, taking a step closer to him with a smile on her face. 

“Do you want to come home with me?” She said with a small smile as she tucked a strand of her brown hair behind her ear, her lipstick now faded and her pupils still dilated.  

Looking down onto the floor, Even tried to think of an excuse, “sorry, I came here with my friend and I’m gonna have to give them a ride.” He made an apologetic face, as he hoped she’d accept his excuse.  

“Oh,” She said with a hint of disappointment in her gentle voice, “that’s okay. Well, I’ll see you around.”  

She leaned forward and pecked his cheek before turning around and walking towards the door, she took one last glance at Even, winking at him as she left the room.  

Releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding as she shut the door, he stepped in front of the sink and turned the tap on, washing his hands.  

As he was drying them off with a towel, he looked up at himself in the large mirror. His skin flushed and his lips red, marks on his neck visible already, red blooming where he was sure would be purple marks in the morning. He pulled his shirt up a bit, hiding the ones that were lower, but there was no use, no matter what he did everyone would be able to tell what exactly went on in the small room. Releasing a sigh, he left the bathroom, deciding he was in desperate need of a drink, his post orgasmic haze fading slowly. 

Walking down the stairs, the music slowly getting louder, he craned his neck in search of his friend, but no luck. They were no where to be seen. 

Taking a deep breath, he stumbled through the house, trying not to walk into anyone but it was impossible, the clearly intoxicated people stumbled around the hallway, laughter pouring out of their mouths when they crashed into each other. 

Stumbling backwards as a body collided with his, he tried not to fall down as he looked up, his eyes falling onto the person he really didn’t want to see tonight. 

“Even!” Isak said with a smile on his face as he rushed forward with a sway in his step, clearly drunk. 

Throwing himself onto Even, he wrapped his arms around his neck, giving him a tight hug. Wrapping his arms around Isak’s slim waist, Even hugged him back on instinct, his unruly curls tickling his face slightly as the boy shoved his face in the crook of Even’s neck. 

Pulling back from him, Isak let his hands slide down Even’s shoulders and down his chest before he removed them completely, a smile still plastered onto his flushed face. 

As he moved his hands away from Isak, he immediately missed the contact, wanting the boy pressed up against him once again. 

“What are you doing here?” Isak slurred as he stood on his tip toes so that Even could hear him better. 

Laughing slightly, Even looked at Isak with a confused look on his face, “I’m here with a friend, it’s a uni party, why are you here?” 

Swaying towards him slightly, Even gripped Isak’s arm to prevent him from falling down, in return Isak looked up at him and smiled softly, “I’m here with my roommate, I lost him though and I don’t know where he is, probably hooking up somewhere, I don’t know.” Isak slurred, the words coming out of him without taking a break to breathe in. 

“Do you want me to help you find him?” Even asked, not wanting to leave Isak alone when he could barely walk. That was it, that was the only reason. 

Isak shot him a crooked smile, his eyes twinkling as he looked up at him, “No, I’d rather spend time with you, he can wait.” 

His cheeks flushing at the comment, Even opened his mouth to respond, but suddenly a body collided with him and Isak. A man with a buzzcut pulled Isak away from Even into a tight embrace, and Isak laughed before pushing him off, his face scrunched up in that endearing way it always did when anyone touched him or displayed any sort of affection towards him. 

“Oh,” Isak yelled out excitedly, a smile on his face once again, “Even this is Eskild, Eskild this is Even.” 

The taller guy extended his arm towards him with a smile on his face, which Even took immediately, “pleasure.” 

As he opened his mouth to say something back, he was once again interrupted, Isak too drunk to understand what was happening around him, “Even, fuck I didn’t give you your clothes back,” he gasped, seeming so shocked by himself that Even had to bite his lip to contain a laugh, he didn’t fail to notice how Eskild’s eyebrows shot high up on his forehead. 

“Wait, wait, wait, are you guys together? Oh my god, my god child,” Eskild smiled widely, proceeding to wipe a fake tear off of his cheek, his other hand laying over his heart. 

Both Even and Isak looked at him, “no, no, no, we’re not together,” they both said at the same time, making Eskild pout before he rolled his eyes as he placed a hand on his hip, his eyes boring into Isak.  

Isak sighed, “we ran into each other, someone spilled something on me, and we went to his place and he lent me some clothes.” 

“Right, right, sure.” Eskild said, nodding his head and pursing his lips as he looked off to the side. 

“Anyways,” Isak said loudly, and leaned up, resting his hand on Even’s shoulder for balance, his lips so close to Even’s ear that he could feel every breath he exhaled, “Lea won’t be home this week so I can’t give them to her, do you want to come to our place to pick it up? Or I can come over and drop it off?” He said as he leaned back again, looking up at Even with his eyelashes fluttering slightly, and if Even didn’t know that Isak was taken, he’d think the boy was flirting with him. 

And maybe it was because he had a beer or two earlier, or maybe he was tired of overthinking everything with this boy, but he leaned forward, Isak quickly glancing down at his lips as he got closer, Even barely even took notice of the action, he contained a smirk as he tilted his head and got closer to Isak’s ear, “I’ll come and get them, I’ll give you my number and you can text me the address.” 

Once he moved back, he noticed a slightly dazed expression on Isak’s face, a flash of what seemed to be disappointment showing up in those lovely green eyes before he neutralized his expression, shooting Even a smile as Even put his hand out, waiting for Isak to give him his phone. 

Raising his eyebrows, Even waited for Isak to react. Shaking his head slightly, Isak seemed to shake himself out of his stupor, quickly reaching into his back pocket and unlocking his phone, handing it to Even to put his number in. 

Quickly putting it in, he locked the phone and handed it back to Isak. A smirk on his face as he got closer to Isak once again, feeling the quickening of the boy’s breath on his cheek as he spoke, “I’ll see you around.” 

He barely caught a small ‘see you’ as he reached up and squeezed Isak’s shoulder gently, walking past him, pushing through the crowd in hopes of reaching Mikael. 

Catching sight of a brown mop of hair and excited hands swinging around as they talked, Even walked towards them, grabbing hold of one of their flailing arms and making them turn around, a smile on their face already as they caught sight of Even. 

“Hey, nice going,” they said as they laughed while poking a hickey on Even’s neck, making Even move away from them as he bat their hand away, Mikael laughing harder at Even’s flustered reaction. 

“Who’s the kid you were talking to?” They nodded their head towards Isak, who was now throwing his head back as he laughed at something Eskild said to him, Even smiled at the lovely sight. Unable to stop himself from dragging his eyes over his body; a tight white t-shirt clinging to his small waist, his jeans stretched over his thick thighs and his gorgeous ass. Shaking his head slightly, Even quickly looked back at Mikael. 

“Isak,” he said nonchalantly. 

“Okay, that means nothing to me. Who is he?”  

Rolling his eyes, Even looked down to the floor as he sighed, glancing up at Mikael, he finally admitted it to him, “it’s the boy I told you about.” 

Gasping, Mikael widened their eyes slightly as a smile showed on their face, “that’s the guy you have a crush on?” They said as they looked over Even’s shoulder, standing on their tip toes to get a better view, their eyes travelling over Isak’s face and body, and their smile widening even further as they did so. 

Spluttering in shock, Even shoved Mikael’s face away with his hand, their cheek against his palm as he looked at them with widened eyes, “Don’t fucking stare at him, what’s wrong with you?” 

Rolling their eyes, Mikael shoved Even away, rubbing their cheek slightly, “Right, you’re one rough bitch, you need to calm down,” huffing out a laugh, Even looked to the side before looking back at Mikael, raising his eyebrows and indicating for them to continue. “And he’s cute, oh my god look at him. Little baby, I just wanna pinch his little cheeks,” they said as they smushed their own cheeks, looking at Even with a grin when they removed their hands. 

Rubbing his face with his fingers, Even sighed as he glared at Mikael before he finally resigned, his hand falling from his face as he pouted petulantly, “Mikael, I know, it’s horrible. He’s making me suffer.” 

Snorting slightly, Mikael glanced behind Even once again before looking at his friend with a smirk on his face, “I’m gonna go say hi to him.” As they made a move to go around Even, he quickly grabbed their arm hauling them backwards and making them stagger slightly as they frowned at Even. 

“Don’t you dare, leave him alone.” 

Throwing their head back and groaning at the ceiling, Mikael looked back at Even with their eyebrows furrowed, “fine, I won’t. But you better do something soon, cause he’s been looking at you this whole time.” 

A blush covered his cheeks as he tried to stop himself from turning around, but he couldn’t help himself. Looking around the room before he turned his head fully, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, Even caught sight of Isak. And sure enough, the boy’s eyes were on him. But, as soon as Even met his gaze, he looked down to the floor, his cheeks reddening by a fastening pace as Even bit his lip to contain a smile. 

Turning back to Mikael, he saw a shit eating grin on their face, making him roll his eyes and groan, “shut the fuck up.” 

 

* * *

 

**Isak**  

 _Okay, I’ll come by today. I’ll let you know when I’m on my way_  

He typed quickly, throwing himself back on his bed and rubbing a hand over his face, wanting to get this over with already so he didn’t have to spend longer than necessary in Isak’s proximity.  

Releasing a sigh, he ran a hand through his hair as he sat up, leaning against the wall and pulling his laptop into his lap, settling it over his thighs as he carried on watching the movie, hoping it will bring some sort of calm over him before he goes over to Isak’s apartment. 

But even through the sounds of the music playing, and the characters having a seemingly important conversation, all Even could think about was the sound of Isak’s voice as he spoke in Even’s ear, his small hand gripping on his shoulder, the fantom of the touch still lingering on Even’s body. He could still feel the arms wrapped around his neck, the faint vanilla scent protruding his nostrils as he embraced the boy; he could feel the small body pressed up against his and his thoughts were consumed with Isak.  

He could feel the all too familiar feeling of arousal stirring in his body and he groaned as he looked up at the ceiling, moving his hand down to adjust himself in his pants, giving himself some momentary relief before it was quickly taken away, not wanting to do this once again.  

But desire took over as he thought of forest green eyes, and a perfectly sculpted cupid’s bow. And before he knew it, he was shutting his laptop and moving it to the floor, giving himself enough room to stretch on his spacious bed and shove his hand down his pants. 

Throwing his head back onto the pillow, his lips parted as he released a satisfied sigh. 

His hand moving in long, slow strokes over his hardening cock as he let the thoughts of Isak take over his mind. 

A twist of his wrist and he groaned, moving his hand away to sit up, rushing to take his clothes off. His t-shirt hitting the floor, his sweatpants following along, and he was back to laying on the bed, his hand softly fondling his balls as he occasionally let it trail lower, his fingertips brushing over his rim, making him shiver.  

Stretching his arm out, he opened the drawer, taking the almost empty bottle of lube and uncapping it, spreading some on his long fingers. He threw it onto the bed, the bottle getting lost in the tangled sheets.  

Gripping his cock and applying firm strokes, he rubbed his rim with two well lubed up fingers before he shoved one in up to his last knuckle, the feeling making him groan and tighten his hold around his dick. As he started to move his finger, he moved his hand in sync, his hips tilting up into his fist slightly, the two sensations making him gasp and release a shuddering breath. 

As he pushed another finger in, he released a guttural groan, which turned into a moan as he angled his fingers and they grazed over his prostate. Propping his legs up, he started moving his fingers faster as the hand wrapped around his throbbing erection sped up as well, his fist squeezing around the head slightly, his palm sliding over the tip to slick it up, the squelching sound of lube and pre cum filling the room.  

Thrusting his hips upwards into the slick channel of his fist, Even imagined a smaller body on top of his, gorgeous soft thighs splayed on either side of him, Isak grinding on his cock harder and harder, pushing it deeper inside of him. 

Pushing his fingers deeper, he applied firm pressure on his prostate, moving his fingertips in waves over it, sending shocks of pleasure through his body as he curled his toes, his fist moving faster now as thoughts of Isak played through his mind.  

He remembered the boy wearing those ridiculous shorts, his soft smooth skin on display, all right there for the taking. And all Even wanted to do was spread those legs apart and watch his inner thighs bloom in shades of purple and red as he kissed and sucked his way to his ass.  

All he wanted was to feel his tightness wrapped around him, to hear his soft voice get higher as Even pushes into him, to kiss those beautiful lips and swallow all the whimpers emitting from him as he makes the boy come all over them both. 

With the thought of Isak coming, he was pushed over the age, the fingers inside his ass rubbing over his prostate as he groaned, his fist still working over his cock, the pace slowing gradually as cum splattered all over his broad chest. Rope after rope being released, ecstasy encompassing his body, making his toes curl and his thighs shake. 

As he lay there, his fingers still buried in his ass and his chest and stomach covered in sweat and come, he remembered he was meeting Isak later.  

He groaned as he threw his head back onto the pillow. 

 _Fuck._  

 

* * *

 

Checking the address one more time, he rang the doorbell, waiting for someone to open the door.  

“Just come up,” he heard a soft voice say through the intercom as the door unlocked.  

Taking a deep breath, he opened it and entered the building, his steps up the stairs slow and trepid. 

 _Just get the clothes and get out, don’t think about how you jerked off over him like two hours ago._  

The sound of his steps echoed in the staircase until he reached the door to the apartment, lifting his hand up to knock. 

He heard fast paced footsteps approaching, silence stretching for a few seconds before Isak opened the door, a dimpled smile on his face already and Even couldn’t help but return it, the boy making him soften up immediately.  

“Hi,” Isak said softly, his eyes twinkling as he kept his gaze on Even’s, 

Tilting his head to the side, Even trailed his eyes over Isak’s face; the slight blush on his cheeks, the stunning colour of his eyes making Even want to spend the rest of his life looking into them, and his hair neat and brushed back, almost as if he purposefully tried to make it look nice, as if he styled it. 

“Halla,” Even said as his eyes returned to Isak’s, the boy moving to the side as he beckoned Even inside the apartment, shutting the door behind him. 

“Do you want anything to drink?” Isak asked as he walked past Even. 

“Um, no that’s okay, I just came for the clothes,” Isak turned towards him, almost pouting at Even’s words, making fondness unfurl in Even’s heart.  

Shooting him a smile, Isak rocked on the heels of his feet, his hands behind his back, “I can make you tea. I’m sure I remember how to do it, you’re a good teacher.” He smiled at him coyly as he lowered his chin, gazing up at him through his long dark eyelashes. 

Swallowing slightly, he looked away from Isak, nodding quickly, “yeah okay, I can stay for a little bit.” 

And the second a beautiful smile covered Isak’s face, the boy excitedly moving to the kitchen as Even took his coat and shoes off, he knew it was worth it and he’d stay for as long as Isak wanted him to. 

Walking into the kitchen, he caught sight of Isak struggling to reach the mugs on the top shelf, his shirt riding up as he stretched his arm above his head. Even moved forward, making Isak look towards him with a frown before he turned away, stubbornly refusing to give up. 

Placing a hand on his lower back, Even heard Isak inhale sharply as Even reached over him, grabbing two mugs from the shelf before he moved away, moving his hand away from the boy as well. 

Turning towards him, Even caught glimpse of the redness on the boy’s cheeks, making him smile smugly as he placed the mugs on the counter, leaning back against the counter as he crossed his arms over his chest, tilting his head to the side as Isak looked at him. 

"Go on then,” he said as he waved a hand towards the mugs, Isak rolling his eyes as he took out all the ingredients, placing them in the cups, getting the kettle to boil in the process. 

Hearing his phone buzz, Isak reached into his pocket, taking it out and reading the notification before he put his phone down, not responding to whatever it was. 

“Your boyfriend?” Even inquired, a hint of jealousy in his voice. 

A frown on his face as he looked up at Even, Isak shook his head in confusion, “I don’t have a boyfriend.” 

His eyebrows flying up on their own accord, Even opened his mouth and shut it, not knowing what to say. 

“Oh,” he licked his lips, his brows furrowed as he looked at Isak, “what about that guy you were with when Lea and I picked you up?” 

Snorting out a laugh, Isak looked at Even with an arched-up brow, “God, no. We just hook up sometimes, he’s just a friend. He can’t date anyone, he’s a disaster.” 

“Oh, okay.” Even looked off to the side, relief flooding his senses as he tried to contain a smile while he cheered internally. He felt Isak look at him for a few seconds before he carried on with the task at hand. 

As he finished making the tea, Isak handed it to Even, biting his lip and shuffling on his feet nervously as he waited for Even to give his approval. 

Taking a sip, he looked over at Isak, the boy's eyes stuck on him as he waited patiently. 

“It’s good Isak,” he said with a smile, Isak smiling as he took a sip of his own. 

“Oh my god it is,” he said with widened eyes, his expression so excited and shocked that Even couldn’t help but laugh, moving slightly closer to the boy. 

“Why are you so surprised? I’m the one that taught you,” Even placed the mug down, leaning back with his hands on the counter. 

“Oh shut up, I’m a mess when it comes to this shit,” Isak said as he repeated Even’s actions, putting his tea down as well. 

“I don’t think you’re a mess, I think you’re lovely,” Even said as he looked at Isak fondly, the words spilling out of him without even thinking about it. 

A small gasp escaped Isak’s mouth, his lips parting as he looked at Even. 

As he took in his expression, a mixture of shock and awe, Even knew that there was no turning back, he moved closer to the boy, his movements slow so as to give him time to move away, but no. He stayed put, his eyes glancing at Even’s lips before he looked down to the floor, his tongue darting out to wet his lips, his breathing coming out quicker. Their feet close together, his curls tickling Even’s cheek as he moved closer, moving his head until their cheeks touched, Isak tilting his head towards Even, their lips only a breath away. Even shut his eyes, getting closer and closer to closing the distance. 

A loud bang was heard, the front door slamming open, a loud curse heard from the hallway, and Even jumped away from Isak, the boy closing his eyes shut, probably cursing internally at the misfortune, knowing that they wouldn’t do anything now, that the moment was ruined. 

Rushing to the hallway, Even trailed behind Isak as he tried not to scream out of frustration at the person that dared interrupt them. 

Their eyes caught sight of the intruder; Eskild was struggling to take a scarf off, his face flustered as he finally got it off, throwing it on the hook beside the door. 

As he looked at them both, his eyes widened slightly before he neutralized his expression, “Hello there, what are you two doing?” 

“Nothing,” Isak said with a twinge of disappointment and anger in his voice. 

 _Yup, fucking nothing._  

Except, Even knew it wasn’t nothing. This could never be nothing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! So sorry for not posting a chapter last week, I got a bit stuck. I knew what I wanted to have happen in the chapter but I just couldn't put it into words, so instead I worked on some prompts and one shots. 
> 
> But then I figured out why I was stuck, I just needed to sprinkle in some smut and I'll be fine. So I did lmao 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you like it. Leave kudos/comments if you like! Thank you. 
> 
> If you want to ask me any questions about this fic, or if you have any headcanons/prompts you'd like me to write (I mostly do very kinky smut), you can go over to my Tumblr where I post prompts whenever I get them:  isaksforelsket 
> 
> And you can follow me on my Twitter that I only started using recently: New Twitter: vandervaltersen


	5. romeo and juliet

Slowing his steps, Even searched the pockets of his jacket for his car keys, making sure he hadn’t lost them once again, not wanting to go through the ordeal of having a new one made once more. He sighed in relief as his hand gripped them, the small letter M keychain Mikael had given him as a joke digging into his palm lightly. He looked up as he walked down the empty street with a bag filled with groceries held tightly in his hand.  

“Oh my god, will you shut up?” He heard a familiar, annoyed sounding, voice speak. He turned to his right, a smile appearing on his face when he caught sight of Lea, her head turned to the side as she leaned against the wall of the building, her backpack hanging from her shoulder while she pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration; the curly blonde strands of hair hanging in front of her face while the rest of it seemed to be tied back in a low ponytail; her small frame enveloped in a black coat, a grey scarf around her neck, not providing any particular warmth as it hung loosely, the edges of it reaching just above her knees; her light denim jeans were tight around her legs as she bounced on the spot, probably trying to warm up as the cold air hit her face; her small upturned nose slightly red and her lips pressed in a tight line as she wrapped her arms around herself, her brows still furrowed while she looked to the person next to her, and Even had thought she had never looked more like her brother than in that moment, the grumpiness making their features look far too similar.  

His eyes trailed to the side to see who she was talking to, who she was so annoyed at, but then he heard a second voice, a voice that let a certain type of fondness unfurl in his chest, a voice that sounded like the most beautiful song he had ever heard, a voice that brought a certain type of apprehension to his mind as he remembered the last time he heard it.  

“But I’ll be so bored,” Isak whined while he stomped his foot in a childlike manner, his defined brows furrowed as he sniffled due to the cold; he pulled his burgundy beanie lower over his head, his blonde curls peaked through around the edges; his small hands finding their way back into the pockets of his army green jacket; the black jeans he wore hugging his thick thighs perfectly, making not so innocent thoughts appear in Even’s mind, making him think of those lovely legs wrapped around his head. He shook his head and tore his eyes away from them hastily as he approached them, setting his eyes on Lea once more. 

Lea sighed heavily, tilting her head back and closing her eyes shut before looking back towards Isak, opening her mouth to speak, but Isak interrupted her, a grin spreading on his face as he caught sight of Even. 

“Hi, Even,” Isak exclaimed happily with a small wave, Lea turning towards him straight away and flashing him a small smile, her aggravated mood not yet fully improved.  

“Hey there,” She said as she stepped towards him, giving him a tight embrace.  

“Halla,” he moved away from her, stepping forward and giving Isak a short-lived hug as well, the soft scent of vanilla enveloping his senses, and the warmth of his much smaller body leaving him much too soon, making him miss the contact the second they got separated. The closeness of the boy making him remember the moment they shared in the kitchen, the inches that seperated their lips before they were rudely interrupted, the action that had left Even more disappointed than he had ever been, but he still couldn’t stop thinking of the what-if, of what could’ve happened, what Isak would feel like against him, what he would taste like, what... He shook himself out of his stupor as he glanced at Isak while stepping away, a slight blush on Isak's cheeks as his smile remained stuck on his face, his long lashes fluttering while he looked up at Even.  

“What are you two doing here?” Even asked, looking back to Lea, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to focus if he had kept his eyes on Isak. Lea groaned and rolled her eyes as she glanced at Isak, the boy huffing slightly while crossing his arms against his chest.  

“I was just telling him I won’t be home during the weekend so he can’t come with me to my place and he’s bitching cause he’s going to be bored all by himself.”  

Scoffing, Isak rolled his eyes, the action far too similar to the way Lea had done it but for some reason when Isak did it Even felt a smile unfurl at the corners of his lips.  

“The boys are all busy, I won’t have anything to do,” he complained in a whiny voice as he looked at Even, explaining it to him with his brows furrowed in apparent frustration. 

“Hang out with Eskild,” Lea said.  

Isak looked back to her while releasing a groan, “he’s going out, Linn is going to be sleeping and Noora is staying with Eva.” 

Lea looked back to Even with a sigh, ”anyways, we were just on our way home, have to call an Uber.”  

“I can give you a ride,” Even offered with an easy smile as he kept his eyes firmly locked on Lea, refusing to look at Isak whose gaze he felt on the side of his face.  

“Oh that’s okay, we don’t want to bother you,” Lea glanced towards Isak with a sheepish look on her face, but Isak kept his focus on Even alone.  

“That’s okay, it’s on my way home anyways, I don’t mind,” Even reassured her quickly as he watched Lea bite her lip before she nodded slightly, shooting him a small smile.  

“Thanks,” She said as they all started walking towards the nearby parking lot, Lea and Isak on either side of Even.  

“Yeah, thanks Even,” Isak said softly, looking up at Even with glimmering eyes, Even almost stumbling forward as he gulped and forced himself to look away. He nodded and tried to keep a smile from appearing on his face while Isak walked close to him, far too close for it to be coincidental, their arms grazing against each other every so often, making Even clench his fist to stop himself from reaching out and pulling the smaller boy closer to him.  

They rushed to the car, Even unlocking it quickly and setting his groceries in the back seat. He watched Lea push Isak away when he tried to get into the passenger seat, the boy groaning as Lea laughed slightly in triumph, Even noticing a pout on his lips as he opened the back door. He smiled as he sat behind the wheel, buckling his seat belt immediately. 

Turning the radio on, Even pulled out of the parking lot and onto the busy road, Lea chattering away next to him about her lessons while Isak sat quietly in the middle of the backseat. 

“So, what are you doing for the weekend?” Even asked once he stopped the car at a red light, his eyes glancing over to Lea as he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel in the beat of the random song playing on the radio. 

Sighing, Lea leaned her head back against the seat, turning towards Even, “I’m going to stay with my mom for a little bit, which is why that one,” she tilted her head back towards Isak who scoffed at the remark, “is being a dick and complaining about how he has nothing to do cause he was going to stay at my place this weekend, but obviously that can’t happen now.” 

Humming in understanding, Even started the car once again, “why don’t you go with her though?” He glanced at Isak in the rearview mirror, the boy biting his lip and looking down, his demeanor suddenly stiff and tense, and Even regretted even asking the question, only ever wanting to see Isak happy and relaxed. 

“No room in the house,” Lea stammered out, her voice having a nervous edge to it, “our mom moved to a smaller place and he’d have nowhere to sleep, so it’s just me going.” She laughed nervously as she finished, Even frowning slightly but quickly neutralizing his expression. 

“Oh, okay,” he said as he kept driving, Isak releasing a breath at the words. 

“So, Isak will have to figure out a way to entertain himself,” Lea carried on as she looked out the window, her hand reaching over to change the radio station until she settled on a random pop song, humming along to it quietly. 

Moving forward, Isak placed one of his arms on the passenger seat, his head resting on his forearm. Even glanced in the mirror and noticed that Isak was trailing his eyes over his profile, a soft smile playing on his lips, “I’m sure I’ll find  _something_ to do.” Isak said with a smirk as he moved away, leaning back against the seat and leaving Even in a rather flustered state, his hands tightening around the steering wheel to prevent himself from stopping the car, and telling Lea to get the fuck out so he could kiss that coy smile off Isak’s face and make his jaw drop as he sucks bruises into the milky skin of his thighs. 

Even took in a deep breath, focusing on the road ahead and ignoring Isak’s presence, knowing that he could spend far too long just looking at the boy and admiring his beauty. 

The rest of the ride was spent with mindless small talk, the music playing in the background and filling the occasional silences, Isak offering a snarky comment here and there, making Even bite his lip to hold in a laugh as Lea groaned, more out of fondness than anything else. 

And when Lea and Isak left the car, Even couldn’t help but smile as he watched Isak trail behind his sister, his hands buried in his pockets. He turned around slightly, a blush covering his cheeks as he noticed Even’s eyes on him, he slowed his steps as he glanced down before looking back up at Even, smiling shyly at him before turning around and entering the building. 

Even sighed and leaned back against the seat, he rubbed a hand over his face, trying to make the thoughts of Isak vanish so that he could safely make his way home. 

 

* * *

 

To put it simply, Even was bored. 

It was Friday afternoon, which usually would be spent on either drinking or hanging out with the guys, but that wasn’t an option that particular evening. Mikael was spending time with their family, their cousins visiting for the weekend and Mikael being forced to stay home and spend some quality time with them all, much to their dismay, and the rest of the guys seemed to be busy as well, either with their families just like Mikael, or they had work to do for uni. So Even was left to his own devices, and he had no idea what to do.  

He lay on his bed, a crumpled up bag of crisps next to him as he scrolled mindlessly through random sites, his laptop on his stomach, his neck bent at a rather uncomfortable angle, but he had no energy in him to move. He looked through Netflix, hoping something would catch his eye and he’d at least be busy watching a movie or a show for the following few hours, but no. Nothing piqued his interest. 

Releasing a sigh, he grabbed his phone from the bed, rubbing his eye with a closed fist as he opened Instagram and scrolled through it until he stopped on a picture of Lea; her head leaning on her hand as she smiled into the camera; her green eyes sparkling behind her glasses. Liking it quickly, he went on her profile, and immediately his eyes fell upon the picture before the last one she had posted. A selfie with Isak, both of them having large smiles on their faces, Isak’s cheeks dimpling slightly as he leaned his head on Lea’s shoulder. Even’s eyes trailed over Isak’s features; his lovely green eyes barely visible from the width of his grin; his curls a messy mop on top of his head; his collarbones revealed as his t-shirt hung loosely around his chest. Even smiled at the sight, the boy's happiness emitting from the photo, practically contagious. 

And suddenly he remembered their last interaction, Isak talking about how he doesn’t have anything to do, how he has no one to hang out with, how he’ll be bored and have no one to entertain him. 

Mikael’s words rang through his head, reminding him that he shouldn’t care what Lea says, that he should focus on himself and his own needs, and suddenly he didn’t care. He didn’t care about Lea, he didn’t care about his promise--he wanted Isak, he wanted to kiss him without interruptions, he wanted to be happy. And he would do just that. 

Opening his messages, he went through the conversations until he opened the one with Isak. He bit his lip gently as he typed out a quick message, sending it before he could overthink it, before he could panic and change his mind. 

 **Isak**  

_Are you still bored?_

The read receipt showed up in a matter of seconds, he watched the typing bubble appear after a few moments as he bit his lip, nervously awaiting the reply. 

_Always, why?_

_Wanna go somewhere?_

_Where?_

_Anywhere._

_Yes please._  

He grinned as he quickly got up from the bed, grabbing the empty bag of crisps and throwing it in the trash before he shut his laptop, placing it on his desk and already thinking of what he could do with Isak, when his eyes fell upon the poster on his wall. With a smile, he quickly typed out an address, sending it to Isak and telling him to meet him there in an hour, wanting to see that precious boy as soon as possible. 

 

* * *

 

Standing in front of the cinema, Even bounced on the balls of his feet anxiously as his eyes flitted down the street, finally catching sight of the boy he’s been waiting for.  

The sun was just setting as he watched Isak approach, the gold and pink hues in the sky making him look like an apparition, like a dream; his curls were loose, bouncing slightly with every step he took; a black jacket hugging his body, his hands shoved in the pockets of it. Once his eyes set on Even, a crooked smile appeared on his face. 

"Hey,” Isak said softly as he got close to Even. 

“Halla,” Even replied, taking a step towards him and giving him a short hug; he wrapped his arms around his shoulders, Isak’s hair tickling his face as he leaned his head against Isak’s; Isak wrapping his arms around his waist and squeezing tightly, and Even could feel the smile spreading on Isak’s face as he burrowed his face in the crook of Even’s neck. 

“Ready?” Even asked while pulling away, his arm lingering around Isak’s shoulders until he moved it away, Isak slowly moving his own arms away as well. 

Isak frowned with a smile still on his face, “What are we doing though?” 

Putting his hand on the small of his back, Even pushed Isak gently towards the entrance to the cinema, Isak’s cheeks reddening at the contact immediately as he started walking. 

“We’re going to see Romeo+Juliet,” Even said while opening the door, gesturing for Isak to go through first, the boy shooting him a grateful smile as he turned towards Even once he walked past him, waiting for him to get to his side once more. 

“Isn’t that like really old though?” 

Even smiled at Isak as they got closer to the counter, “yeah, but they’re showing it again for the anniversary of its release, and it’s my favourite movie so I wanted to watch it with you.” 

“Oh,” Isak blushed as he glanced up at Even through his lashes, looking down quickly as their eyes met, out of the corner of his eye, Even noticed a smile appear on Isak’s face as he kept walking, occasionally looking over at Even. 

As they stood in line for the tickets, Even couldn’t help but glance down at Isak, a smile pulling on his lips every time he saw the boy standing next to him. 

 

* * *

 

“I didn’t cry,” Isak whined as they walked out of the cinema, his hands wiping the remains of his tears off of his flushed cheeks, his brows furrowed in stubbornness as he pouted slightly. 

Even huffed while stopping in front of Isak, whose eyes were puffy and red from the last minutes he had spent crying over the tragic faith of two lovers. 

"Oh, of course not, I didn't hear you sniffling at all." Even smirked at him as Isak rolled his eyes, not even trying to defend himself, knowing that the movie actually got to him.

And while Even would’ve loved to enjoy the movie, as he had every previous time he had seen it, he had found Isak to be far too distracting, far more interesting than anything he had ever watched. He found himself continuously looking over at him as the film played out, waiting to see his reaction and to see if he was enjoying it. Their arms were pressed together, Isak leaning towards him more and more during the movie, and Even would smirk every time the boy moved or glanced towards him, his eyes trailing over Even’s face until Even would look back at him and he would quickly look away, the brightness of the screen showing the gradual rise of the blush on Isak’s cheeks. Occasionally, Even would lean towards him, and whisper a piece of information about the director or the cinematography into his ear, Isak’s breath hitching every time Even would do so, his lips sometimes touching the soft skin of the boy’s ear. 

And now, as they stood on the sidewalk, Even looking at the smaller boy with fondness in his eyes, he couldn’t get himself to say goodbye to him just yet. 

“I should go to the bus station,” Isak said softly while looking down at the ground. 

“I’ll walk you there,” Even said without any hesitation, Isak nodding with a smile straight away. 

“Let’s go through the park,” Even said, his hand once again on Isak’s lower back as he ushered him down the sidewalk, quickly crossing the street and heading down a small pathway leading through the park, trees on either side of the path, only illuminated by the moonlight and the bright street lamps. 

“Did you like it though?” Even asked quietly, not wanting to disrupt the tranquility between the two. 

Nodding slightly, Isak peered up at Even, “Yeah, a bit strange but it was good. I mean, Leonardo is in it.” He added with a smirk. 

With a laugh, Even raised his eyebrows in Isak’s direction, “is that the type of guy you like?” 

“Maybe,” Isak said while giggling, the sound echoing into the quiet of the night. 

Clicking his tongue, Even smirked, “Fucking hell, that’s a shame.” 

He felt Isak lean towards him slightly, his side pressed against Even as Even came to a halt, moving to stand in front of Isak. 

“And why is that?” Isak whispered as he kept looking at Even. 

“Cause it means I have no chance,” Even said, the smile fading from his face as he stood in front of the loveliest boy he had ever seen. 

“You do,” Isak said quietly, Even’s heart skipping a beat at the sentiment. 

His heart beat faster as his eyes flit over Isak’s serene features. He slid closer to him until the toes of their shoes met in the middle, Isak glancing down, his eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks, his lips parting and a shaky breath being exhaled.  

Cars drove by them, the lights glimmering in Even’s peripheral vision, but all he saw, all he heard, and all he felt was Isak; Isak’s breath hitting his lips as he leant down, the boy’s breathing coming out ragged; his cheeks flushed with the most delicious pink colour. Isak glanced up at him through those long dark lashes, his eyes trailing lower to Even’s lips, making Even quirk them up in a small smile as he brought his hand up, trailing his fingertips against Isak’s warm soft skin, a gasp emitting from the boy’s lips as he tilted his head towards Even’s hand, leaning further into the touch. Isak tilted his dimpled chin up and his eyes fluttered shut, the light from the lamp above them illuminating his pale skin.  

“Can I kiss you?” Even whispered, inches away from the inviting cupid’s bow. 

Isak took in a shaky inhale, his tongue darting out and leaving his lips shiny, “you can.” 

Smiling softly, Even brought both of his hands up to Isak’s face, cradling it as he felt two small hands grip his denim jacket, pulling him closer.  

Taking one last look at Isak’s features, he shut his eyes, and finally, their lips connected.  

The softness of Isak’s lips enveloped him, they moved against each other languidly as he felt a trepid hand creep up on his chest, the cold fingertips touching his naked collarbone and making him shiver into the kiss. He slid his tongue along Isak’s bottom lip as he stroked his thumb over the boy’s cheekbone. Isak opened his mouth slightly, allowing Even to let their tongues meet, the taste of Isak exploding on his taste buds as he crowded against him further, their chests connecting and the previously shaky hand, now surely and confidently travelled up Even’s neck and into his combed back hair.   

Even’s hand smoothly ran down Isak’s back until he settled it against the arch of it and pulled him impossibly closer.  

The world around them disappeared, nothing mattered but Isak’s lips moving against his, but the hand gripping his jacket as the other one was still in his hair, and in that moment, Even thought he had never been more fulfilled or happier. 

A sound of a shrill bell burst the bubble around them, bringing them back to reality. Even’s eyes opened as he pulled back from Isak, the whimper the boy emitted making him want to ignore the sound and get close to him once again, but the noise didn’t let up, so he looked up. His eyes widened as he caught sight of the bike approaching them on the sidewalk, he wrapped his arm around Isak’s slim waist and pulled him to the side, the boy squeaking at the action, making Even glance down at him before he looked up, grimacing apologetically in the bikers direction as he rode past them. 

He tore his gaze away from the offender, and looked back to the small boy still clutching at him. Lifting his hand from his waist, Even gently placed it on Isak’s cheek as he tilted his head up, making him look up with those forest green eyes Even had been thinking about from the moment he first saw them.  

Brushing his curls away from his forehead, Even smiled gently, “want to go to my place?”  

Isak’s blush deepened as he bit his lip, his mouth quirking up at the edges as he tried to contain a smile while Even kept one of his hands firmly on his waist, the other now trailing down to his neck as Isak’s arm remained wrapped around Even’s neck. Nodding softly Isak smiled as he looked up at Even. 

Leaning down, Even placed a soft kiss on Isak’s lips before he wrapped a firm arm around his shoulders, bringing him closer to his side as he began walking to his apartment, out of the corner of his eye, he saw a smile on Isak’s face. 

 

* * *

 

While unlocking the door to his apartment, Even turned to see Isak nervously looking around, standing close to Even as he looked up at him, smiling the second he noticed Even’s eyes on him. He moved to the side, allowing Isak to enter first, the teenager taking his shoes and jacket off straight away while Even locked the door, repeating Isak’s actions afterwards. 

Even watched Isak wring his hands lightly in a nervous gesture as he looked around the apartment, not knowing what to do. Even approached him, the boy's eyes focusing on him immediately as Even placed his hands on Isak’s cheeks, Isak gripping his wrists and sighing contently as he looked up at Even before tilting his chin up, making Even smile as he leaned down, placing a soft, sweet kiss on the boy's lips. 

Leaning back a bit, Isak smiling as Even rested his forehead against his, Even stroked his thumbs over Isak’s pronounced cheekbones, the boy leaning into the touch as he wrapped his arms around Even’s neck, making sure Even stayed in place. 

“Halla,” a fond look appeared on his face as he watched Isak roll his eyes with that beautiful dimply smile still on his face as Even kept one of his hands on his cheek, the other trailing down to his waist and pulling him closer. 

“Halla,” Isak whispered while tightening his arms around Even’s neck and nuzzling his nose against Even’s. 

Licking his lips, Even’s eyes slowly trailed over Isak’s features as he lowered his hand, tracing his thumb lightly against his bottom lip, Isak’s breath hitching at the contact. 

 “Do you want to stay here tonight?” Even spoke quietly, not wanting to disrupt the moment between them, he moved his hand away, placing it on Isak’s neck, his fingers touching the soft curls at his nape. 

A blush rose on Isak’s cheeks as his tongue darted out, before he stuttered out, “I-I don’t want to, you know, do anything,” his arms loosened around Even’s neck as he started to move them away, Even gripping them and keeping them in place. 

“That’s okay, we don’t have to,” he reassured the smaller boy, noticing a nervous shakiness to his voice. 

“I-I’m sorry, I can go if you want, if that’s what you wanted me to come here for,” Isak spoke quickly, refusing to meet Even’s eyes as he shakily placed his hands in Even’s hair. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I don’t want you to go,” He placed a soft kiss on Isak’s lips, a shaky exhale emitting from the boy, “I just want to spend time with you, I don’t care what we do.” 

“Yeah?” Isak smiled as he tilted his head to the side, his nose moving against Even’s. 

“Of course,” he pecked Isak’s lips gently, “we don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for.” 

Leaning upwards, Isak captured Even’s lips in a kiss, the boy shyly tracing his tongue along Even’s bottom lip, Even opening his mouth straight away, allowing their tongues to meet. 

Trailing his hands down Isak’s body, Even gripped his thighs, hoisting him up, the boy squealing in surprise before he moved away from Even, letting out a wonderful giggle as he wrapped his legs around Even’s waist, the older boy carrying him to his room. 

He held Isak tightly, making sure he didn’t fall as he opened the door to his room while Isak played with the hair at Even’s nape before he leaned down, placing the softest kiss on Even’s cheek. 

Making his way over to the bed, he gently lowered Isak onto it, the boy spreading his legs to make room for Even as he pulled him down into a passionate kiss once more. 

His hand trailed down the boy’s slim waist until he reached his thigh, pulling it up higher around his waist while he gently bit Isak’s lower lip, soothing it with his tongue straight after. 

Moving away from him, Even panted as Isak whined, the sound shooting straight to his hardening cock. Isak tried pulling him back down, desperate for their mouths to reconnect, but Even moved his head away as he caught his breath, Isak’s brows furrowing in confusion when Even rolled over onto his side, moving away from his position between Isak’s legs.  

“W-what are you doing?” Isak asked as he lay on his back, still panting.  

Leaning up on his forearm, Even loomed over him, giving him a soft peck before speaking, “I can’t have you under me looking so fucking gorgeous.” He arched his brow as Isak blushed, his brows still furrowed until Even looked down towards his crotch, looking back up at Isak as he raised his brows. 

“Ohhhh,” Isak said before giggling shyly, making Even smile as he reached forward with his hand, placing a loose curl behind Isak’s ear. 

Leaning forward, he placed a kiss on the tip of Isak’s nose, making the teenager scrunch it up as he smiled widely before wrapping his arms around Even’s neck, pulling him down into a kiss. 

As their lips moved against each other, Even’s hand placed firmly on Isak’s waist, Even moved away from the boy, taking in his content features; his cheeks flushed and warm to the touch as Even trailed his knuckles over them gently; his lips red and spit slicken; his eyes glowing and his pupils dilated, and Even was sure he had died and gone to heaven. The feelings rising inside of him mixed with the sight of such beauty making him happier than he had ever been. 

Stroking Isak’s cheek gently, Even spoke softly, “so pretty.” 

Huffing slightly, Isak rolled his eyes before he gripped Even’s t-shirt, pulling him lower, “shut up.” 

Soft, slow kisses were shared in the midst of the night, the sheets crumpled up at the edge of the bed as they lay facing each other, their legs tangled, every bit of Even’s skin burning where it touched Isak’s. 

“Do you want me to give you something to sleep in?” Even spoke softly as he separated from Isak, his hand still tangled in the boy's curls. 

“No, it’s fine,” Isak said as he moved away from Even, unbuttoning his jeans and lifting his hips up, pulling them off straight away and getting comfortable, the jeans getting thrown onto the floor. 

Diligently keeping his eyes on Isak’s face, Even lifted his hand up, gently stroking the boy's cheek before he took his own pants off, laying back on the bed on his back once they had been discarted, Isak shuffling closer to him and placing his head on his chest, Even wrapping his arm around him and tracing gentle soft touches on his t-shirt clad back. 

Tilting his chin up, Isak looked up at Even with half lidded eyes, Even smiling at the boy before he placed a gentle kiss on his lips. 

Sighing contently, Isak lay back down on Even’s chest, one of his legs placed over Even’s his arm around Even’s waist. 

Placing a kiss in his unruly curls, Even allowed a smile to unfurl on his lips, and as Isak’s breathing evened out, and his body lay lax on his, he knew there was no place he’d rather be. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello, after my anxiety decided to really just ruin my life, I've finally written the chapter to this fic. Sorry for the wait!  
> Honestly man, I couldn't wait to write about them actually getting together (this is why I suck at slow burns), and the story will now continue to develop around them, instead of just focusing on them getting together, so get ready for some fluff, smut and angst. hehe
> 
> If you have any questions about this or any other of my fics, OR if you have any prompts/headcanons you'd like me to either put in some of my fics OR write a one shot for (I mostly do kinky smut), you can head over to my tumblr:  isaksforelsket 
> 
> And if you want to hear me bitch about writing, or any other shit, you can follow me on Twitter: vandervaltersen
> 
> As always, kudos and comments are greatly appreciated, thank you ly ly


	6. bliss and smoke

Sunlight shone through the window as Even was brought back to reality, the brightness of it making him shut his eyes tightly and burrow into the pillow to hide his face. Only, in front of him was not a pillow, and he suddenly felt the warmth plastered to his front. He blinked his eyes open, a mop of messy blonde curls lay beside him.  

He put his head back down as he closed his eyes once more, a smile pulling on the corners of his lips as he tightened the hold he had on Isak, his arm wrapped around the boys slim waist and his palm flattening against his stomach, his front pressed to Isak's back, his knees tucked behind Isak's. And soon he noticed the tingling of his arm as he wiggled his fingers, and he felt the weight of Isak's head resting on it. He tried to pull it away from underneath him, but the boy released a small whimper, nuzzling against the soft skin of Even's bicep as he sighed, still in deep sleep, and apparently unwilling to move. 

Even lay back down, opening and closing his fist as he pressed his lips to the back of Isak's neck, nuzzling into the curls at the nape of his neck as the boy almost instinctually pressed closer to him, their legs entangling as Isak put his much smaller hand on Even's where it was resting above the waistband of his boxers. 

He had done this before, in the midst of the dark hours of the night, when he would be stuck in that dazed state of mind between being awake and still asleep. Isak would shuffle around the bed, searching for Even until he made contact, even if it were only a fingertip against Even's skin. Not that Even minded, he was the same after all. His body gravitated towards Isak as if they had been sleeping together for years, his arm moving around him on its own accord as if he needed to feel his smaller body pressed up against his, as if he needed to be sure this boy was real, that he was right there next to him. 

He moved his palm against Isak's stomach, his pinky pressing against the hot skin where his T-shirt had ridden up during the night. He moved his hand up and pulled the fabric down, smoothing it out with, not wanting to feel any part of him that Isak did not allow him to touch. 

They lay in bed for a while, Even closing his eyes and losing track of time as he listened to the deep breathing of the boy next to him, overwhelmed by the feeling of gratitude at the thought that Isak felt safe enough to sleep so peacefully next to him, so deeply and undisturbed when Even was aware of how much trouble Isak had with sleep, having witnessed his tired expression far too many times when he would go to Lea's, dark circles painting the skin beneath his eyes, the boy frantically filling his mug with coffee as he rubbed a hand over his face, Lea worryingly watching him retreat to his room. And yet, here he was, right next to Even, sleeping soundly.   

But, no matter how much he wanted to stay in that blissful position for as long as Isak desired him to, he was desperate for a piss, and no matter how badly he wanted to, he couldn't hold it in any longer. Slowly pulling his arm out from beneath Isak's head, he lifted himself up, his breath hitching at the serenity of Isak's features; his lips parted slightly; his face squished against the pillow as he moved his hand, placing it beneath his cheek. Leaning forward, Even brushed a few loose strands of hair back, moving closer and placing a kiss to his temple, Isak nuzzling further into the pillow. 

After pulling the covers up over Isak, making sure he was warm, Even got up, quickly rushing to the bathroom and relieving himself before washing his hands and going to brush his teeth, looking at his reflection in the mirror while doing so, surprised to find a certain kind of glimmer in his eyes, only a minuscule amount of happiness he actually felt flashing in his irises. 

He rinsed his mouth out, washing his face afterwards before he dried it with a towel, running a hand through his hair straight after and checking the mirror, making sure he looked okay before he went to leave the room, desperate to get back to bed, or more specifically to Isak. 

As he stepped out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind him, he collided with a smaller figure, making him stumble backwards slightly before he looked up and smiled at the sight of Isak in front of him, the smile dimming as he noticed the slight panic on Isak's face, his face pale and his green eyes widened as he looked at Even in apparent shock. 

"Hey," he stepped forward, placing his hand on the boy's cheek and rubbing his thumb over his cheekbone as the other one grabbed hold of the boy's hand, interlacing their fingers, "what's wrong?" 

Isak looked down to the floor, his cheeks reddening slightly as he took in a shaky breath, Even's brows furrowing more and more with each second that ticked by with Isak not saying a word. 

Darting his tongue out, Isak wet his lips, opening his mouth and trying to speak, "I- I just thought..."   

He stopped, taking a deep breath, Even stepping closer to him and pushing a steady hand through the soft curls at the nape of his neck, pulling on them ever so gently to try and get Isak out of his thoughts, "it's okay." 

Finally looking up at him, Even's frown deepened at the sight of Isak's eyes, widened and worried. He tilted his head slightly as Isak huffed out a humourless laugh before shaking his head in a barely noticeable manner, "it's stupid, it doesn't matter." 

Gripping his chin with his thumb and forefinger, Even tilted Isak's head up, smiling at him softly and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips, trying to calm him as Isak's hands found their way to Even's chest and gripped his T-shirt as if he was scared Even would move away from him. 

"Nothing you ever say could be stupid," Even smiled as Isak rolled his eyes fondly, his cheeks rosy and warm beneath his calloused fingertips. 

"I just," he took in a deep breath and shrugged his shoulders in a clear attempt to appear casual and relaxed, "I thought you left." 

Even frowned in confusion as he leaned his forehead against Isak's, nuzzling his nose before speaking, "where would I go, baby?" He watched Isak blush at the pet name, looking down onto the floor.  

"I thought you were giving me time to get out," Isak said, his insecurities seeping through his voice, a strange sort of irrational fear coming through. 

His hand found its way onto Isak's waist, pulling him closer to him, their chests touching as they stood in the small hall. Tucking a strand of hair behind his ear, Even leaned in, kissing his cheek softly, "never." He whispered as Isak looked up at him, a shy smile spreading on his lips, Even copying the action involuntarily as he traced his gaze over Isak's features, until he noticed the small tilt of Isak's chin, the boy lifting his head up and arching a brow as he stood on his tiptoes, waiting for Even to lean in. 

He pressed his lips against Isak's, a kiss far too domestic and familiar for how long they had known each other. Isak released a small sigh, his arms wrapping around Even's neck as he pressed his front to Even's, the warmth emitting from the boy making him wrap both arms around his waist, lifting him from the ground as Isak squealed in surprise, smiling into the kiss. 

"You gonna let me down?" Isak whispered against Even's lips, a crooked smile appearing on his face as Even huffed, rolling his eyes and placing Isak back on the ground, yet the boy's arms remained wrapped around his neck. 

His palms stroked down Isak's sides, smoothing his T-shirt out as he pecked his nose, Isak scrunching it up it an all too familiar fashion as he looked up at Even. 

"You can shower if you want to," Even said as Isak nodded slightly, dragging his hands down Even's chest. 

"I'll give you some clothes, hold on," He quickly went to his room, grabbing all the clothes necessary before walking out, handing them to Isak. 

"There are towels and a spare toothbrush in the cupboard." 

Isak leaned up, pressing his lips against Even's once more, as if he couldn't get enough, but Even was the same. He hated the thought of separating from the smaller boy even for a few moments when he was finally able to touch him after admiring his beauty from afar for so long.    

"Thanks," Isak spoke and stepped away, walking into the bathroom with a smile small, his eyes focused on Even until he had to look away, closing the door behind him and locking it.   

Rubbing a hand over his face, Even tried to tether himself back to reality, pull himself down to earth and focus on the task at hand, which was preparing the food and making sure it was ready for Isak once he was done. 

"Right," he mumbled to himself, "breakfast." 

He rushed to the kitchen, quickly taking the ingredients out of the fridge and the cupboards, deciding to make the eggs his dad taught him how to make, knowing that there was no way he could fuck that up. 

As he stirred the food in the pan, careful to do it perfectly so as to please Isak, he found himself glancing towards the door of the bathroom, his ears perking up and listening to the sound of the running water and trying not to think of the fact that Isak was right there, naked, with droplets of water running down his lithe body, travelling down the slope of his back until they reached... Even shook his head, focusing on stirring the food as it sizzled, the smell of it filling the small apartment.   

He bit his lip as he waited for Isak to come out, casting looks at the door every few seconds while he got the plates out, arranging the food on them slowly as he boiled some water for the coffee. 

Finally, he heard the door unlock and he glanced back to it immediately. He watched as Isak stepped out, a smile spreading on his face when the boy looked up at him, giving him a shy smile as he walked over to him, Even's sweatpants that he was wearing luckily cuffed so that he didn't trip; his large white T-shirt hanging loosely on Isak's body and revealing his collarbones and one of his freckled shoulders; strands of wet hair hung down his forehead, the curls already forming as they started to dry. He came up to Even, sliding in beside him and wrapping his arms around his waist, Even's arm coming around his shoulders as he pressed a kiss to Isak's temple and placed a hand on his cheek, rubbing a thumb over his cheekbone before he tilted his head and smiled. 

"Do you need any help?" Isak asked as he tilted his head towards the food, which Even had somehow managed to forget about, stuck in the world where nothing but Isak existed. 

"No it's okay," he bent down to kiss his cheek, "Go sit down, I'll get it," he smiled at Isak as the boy blushed and nodded slowly, walking over to the kitchen island and settling onto one of the stools, placing an elbow on the counter in front of him and resting his head on his palm, and Even could feel his eyes on him as he moved around the kitchen, making sure everything was just right. 

"Do you want coffee?" Even asked as he placed a plate in front of the boy, Isak smiling at him as he whispered a soft 'thank you'. 

"Umm," he started as he bit his bottom lip before speaking, "yeah, sure." 

As Even got the coffee, and his own food, and finally sat down next to him to eat, a sense of tranquillity took over his being, the domesticity in the air filling his heart and soul as he nudged his foot until he hooked his ankle around Isak's, the boys cheeks blushing as he carried on eating. 

The rest of the breakfast was spent in peaceful quiet, a word not being spoken between them as it was not necessary, they were simply enjoying each others company, Even occasionally reaching over, tucking a strand of hair behind Isak's ear or stroking his cheek, desperately needing to touch him. 

Once they had finished, Even stood from the chair and placed a kiss in Isak's curls before he dutifully moved the plates to the sink, Isak getting up to help him but Even just smiled and said he'll take care of it, knowing that Isak sitting there looking like an angel was all he needed. 

As Even walked up to him once he had finished, Isak turned around on the stool, spreading his legs slightly and allowing Even to step between them, putting his hands on Isak's small waist as Isak looked down, his fingers toying with the hem of Even's T-shirt. 

"So," Isak started as he looked up at Even through his lashes, "what do you wanna do now?" 

Even smiled softly as he looked at his boy, lifting his hands up and placing them on Isak's warm cheeks, Isak wrapping his own hands around Even's wrists, softly tracing touches on his forearms as Even leaned in, brushing their noses together and tilting his head before he whispered, "this." 

He pressed his lips against Isak's, catching that perfectly sculpted Cupid's Bow between his lips as Isak's hands came up to his chest, clutching Even's T-shirt and pulling him closer as he wrapped his legs around Even, keeping him so damn close, his grip tight until Even chuckled into the kiss, moving his head away and leaning his forehead against Isak's, the smaller boy looking rather dazed as he looked up at him with hazy eyes. 

He trailed his thumb over Isak's bottom lip, tracing his delicate features with his eyes and admiring him as Isak tilted his chin up, silently asking for another kiss.   

Even felt a smile quirk up on his lips at that, Isak's lovely eyes staring up at him as he spoke, "you're so beautiful." 

He could see the redness spread in the boy's cheeks as he rolled his eyes, but it was devoid of any malice, and he could see that he really enjoyed every compliment Even had given him, but still, he huffed slightly as he spoke, "Shut up, Even, so cheesy." 

Even laughed slightly before he gripped Isak's thighs, hoisting him upwards as Isak squealed in surprise, his arms wrapping around his neck, and his legs wrapping around Even's hips as Even leaned in, kissing him softly and moving away before Isak gripped his hair, pulling him back towards him and connecting their lips, Even's cock twitching as the boy shyly licked along his bottom lip, asking for entrance which Even happily granted, parting his lips and allowing their tongues to meet as he started making his way back to the safety of his room, promptly laying Isak down on the bed and climbing over him as Isak reached up, placing both hands on his neck and looking up at him with a soft smile, pushing a stray strand of hair away from Even's forehead before Even moved closer, nuzzling his nose against Isak's and releasing a content sigh. 

* * *

The rest of the day was spent in what Even could only describe as pure bliss, laughter spilling out of Isak's pretty mouth at Even's disgusted face when Isak told him he liked a Nicolas Cage movie, small whispers shared between them as Isak spoke of stories of Eskild and his many endeavours, including the time he had forced Isak to listen to him talk about safe sex, and the logistics of gay sex.  

Yet, every once in a while, a solemn silence would take over, such as the moment Even's phone buzzed, revealing several texts from Lea, asking to meet up for coffee, reminding him of his promise to her and how he had no fucking clue how to tell her about what was happening, his mind spiralling at the thought. But luckily, Isak was there, shaking him out of his stupor by leaning up from where he lay on his chest, placing a soft kiss on his lips and making him forget about everyone else. Which was when Even slid a hand over Isak's waist as the boy tangled his fingers in Even's hair, pulling him closer until Even covered his body with his own, his legs wrapping around Even's hips and keeping him in place as he whimpered when Even nipped his bottom lip, soothing it with the gentlest of kisses afterwards. 

He wrapped an arm around Isak's waist and flipped them over, Isak giggling as he straddled his hips, making himself comfortable before kissing him once more. 

Trailing his hands over Isak's back, diligently keeping them above the waistband of Isak's sweatpants, Even tried to focus on his lips, not push it any further. But the fact that Isak was promptly sitting on his hardening dick, that pretty ass perched right on top of it and tiny whimpers emitting from his mouth whenever Even kissed him too deeply, was really making him lose every bit of self-restraint he had. So he moved his head away, laying back on the pillow and moving his hand until it was in Isak's curls as the boy chased his lips. 

Isak lifted his head up, holding himself up on his forearms as he looked at Even before speaking, "what's wrong?" 

Even tightened his hold on his hips and shuffled, trying to get comfortable, but as he did so, his cock pushed up against Isak, the boy taking in a deep breath at the feeling, his eyes widening slightly. 

Even moved his hand, brushing Isak's hair away from his face and leaning up, pecking his lips before he spoke, "Just give me a minute, baby."  

Isak blushed at the pet name before groaning in exasperation, lowering his head and placing it in the crook of Even's neck as Even rubbed a hand over his back. 

"I'm sorry," he heard the boy mumble against his skin. 

He frowned at the statement, "what are you sorry about?" 

Isak sighed softly, the breath hitting Even's neck and making him shiver slightly. 

He lifted his head up and looked at Even, "just, this." He gestured lower with his hand and licked his lips, looking off to the side. 

"I'm just blue-balling you at this point." 

Even chuckled as he placed a hand on his cheek and traced his eyes over Isak's features, "Don't worry about it, it's no big deal. We don't even have to kiss if you don't want to, if you're not ready for anything then that's fine. I'm not going to be upset about it Isak." 

Even smiled at him as Isak bit his lip in contemplation before shyly moving forward, "I do want to kiss you though." He said before pecking Even's lips and leaning his forehead against Even's, running his hand through Even's hair, lightly scratching his scalp and making him hum in appreciation. 

Tucking a strand of hair behind his ear, Even kissed him softly before Isak moved to the side, placing his head on Even's chest and getting comfortable. 

"I've done some shit before," Isak said quietly, drawing Even's attention towards him as he traced light touches on his back. 

"This guy was really nice to me, like I knew him from school and he'd always compliment me and smile at me and all that, but I never did anything because I wasn't out yet," Even kept his eyes on him as Isak bit his lip before nuzzling closer to him and looking up to meet his gaze, "And then I ran into him one night and we hooked up, and then the next day he kind of just told me to get the fuck out." 

Even tightened his grip around his shoulders, pulling him closer as he lifted his hand, rubbing his thumb over Isak's cheekbone before he placed his forefinger under his chin, lifting his head up, "we don't have to do anything. I'm not going to kick you out if something does or doesn't happen, I just want you here next to me, I don't care if you don't want to have sex or anything like that." 

Isak's cheeks flushed slightly before he glanced away from Even, "It's not that I don't want to, I do, I just really like you and don't want it to get fucked up." 

Even's heart soared at the words, a smile pulling on his lips as he pushed Isak until he lay on his back, holding himself up on his forearm as he pushed his other hand through Isak's hair, "I like you too." 

Isak snorted slightly and shook his head, his cheeks a rosy colour as he looked up at Even and arched his brow, "that's all you got from that?" 

"No," he kissed him gently, a smile still placed on his face, "I'm just trying to distract you so you don't get lost in that pretty little head of yours." 

Isak smiled at him and wrapped his arms around his neck, pulling him closer and rubbing his nose against Even's, looking at him with half-lidded eyes, "I think I need a little more distracting." 

With a smile, Even kissed him once more, quite positive he would never get tired of Isak's lips on his. 

But just as Even pulled on Isak's cheek, prompting him to open his mouth, Isak turned his head to the side to yawn, making Even chuckle at the sight, "you tired?" 

Isak nodded slightly as he brought his hands up, placing them on Even's neck and playing with the hair on his nape, shutting his eyes and humming contently. 

"Let's go to sleep, baby."  

And soon enough, after brushing their teeth, sending each other small looks and smiling at each other in the mirror, and proceeding to take their clothes off, now only sleeping in their boxers, they were back in the warmth of Even's bed, Isak laying on his chest once again, his leg propped up over Even's as he traced patterns on Even's torso before finally drifting off to sleep, Even placing a kiss in his curls and releasing a sigh before shutting his eyes. 

* * *

The smoke filled the room, swirling above Even when he blew it out, his vision hazy and his mind dizzy as he turned to the side, putting the blunt between Isak's lips where he was laying next to him.  

He watched as Isak took a deep inhale of the smoke, his chest expanding and his lashes casting shadows on his cheeks as his eyes fluttered closed, the smoke billowing out from between his parted lips. 

"I feel like I'm corrupting you," Even smiled as he took the blunt from Isak's small hand, the boy snorting slightly as he moved to lay on his side while Even took the last puff, throwing the remains in the ashtray placed on his chest before he put it on the nightstand. 

"It's not like I haven't done this before," Isak shut his eyes and sighed as Even looked at him.  

"Oh really?" He watched Isak smile softly, opening one eye up and looking at him for a moment before he moved closer to him, nuzzling into his chest and throwing an arm around his waist. 

Isak hummed softly before sighing, spending a few moments in silence before he interrupted it, "do you know what would be great right now?" 

Even groaned as he threw his arm over his eyes, "Waffles, I want some waffles." 

He moved his arm to look at Isak when he didn't say anything, the boy looking up at him with slightly parted lips. 

"What?" 

Isak moved to lay on his back, "Fuck, I can't even remember what I was going to say, all I can think about is getting waffles now." 

Even bit his lip in contemplation before sitting up, grabbing Isak's hand and pulling, "come on, let's go." 

"Where are we going?" Isak asked as he stood from the bed, walking after Even to the door. 

"There's a place around the corner, get your shoes on." 

So, soon enough, they were sitting in a booth in the back of the restaurant, stacks of waffles in front of them as Even reached over, wiping the remains of cream from the corner of Isak's mouth, the boy smiling at him with glimmering eyes and the loveliest smile on his face, and the last thing Even wanted to do was say goodbye to him. 

But sadly, the night was approaching, hues of pink and orange covering the sky, and Isak had to leave. And wanting to spend some more time with him, Even insisted on driving him home, Isak smiling shyly and accepting the offer, both of them walking slowly towards the car once they had finished eating.

"I'll see you next week, yeah?" Isak said as they stood in front of the door of the apartment building, the street lamps illuminating his face and allowing Even to see those doe eyes looking up at him. 

"Of course," Even smiled and stepped closer to him, bringing a hand up to his cheek before he kissed him, one final goodbye before he had to leave. 

"Goodnight, Even," Isak said quietly, his hand trailing touches on Even's chest. 

"Goodnight," Even smiled and moved his hand away, Isak leaning up and pecking his cheek before turning around and walking into the building. 

With a sigh Even turned and walked to his car, searching for the key in his pocket, and just as he found it and was about to unlock the car, he heard a voice to his side, making him stop in his tracks. 

"Even?" He looked towards the source, Eskild walking up to him with a confused look on his face. 

"Hey, Eskild," He said with a smile, unsure whether he should tell him he's been with Isak or not, but it seems as if Eskild figured it out already, judging by the smirk spreading on his face and his eyebrows shooting up in the air. 

"Were you here with Isak?" He said slowly, walking up to Even until he stood in front of him. 

Even looked down, bouncing on the spot slightly as he thought about what to say before finally nodding with a sigh, "I just dropped him off, we were at my place." 

Eskild nodded knowingly, looking off to the side before he glanced back to Even, his brow arched, "so, are you two together now?" 

Even felt a blush colour his cheeks, not knowing what to say to that, and not really knowing if they were together or not. Between the kisses they had shared, and the weekend being spent ignoring all their surroundings and all their obligations, they never got to discuss what they were. 

Even flashed a smile at Eskild, who was still waiting for an answer, "I'm sure you'll get to interrogate Isak and he'll tell you everything." 

Eskild rolled his eyes fondly he sighed, "No, he's a little shit, he never tells me anything. If I ask him anything he'll tell me to fuck off." 

With a chuckle, Even looked off to the side as Eskild continued, "But, anyways, I'm gonna try to get something out of him. Goodnight, Even." 

"Goodnight, Eskild," Even smiled as he unlocked his car, opening the door when Eskild spoke once again. 

"Oh, and Even," he looked up at him with raised eyebrows, "if you hurt him I'll break your legs." 

Even's lips parted in shock as he looked at Eskild, not knowing what to say. He simply nodded as Eskild smiled sweetly, turning around and entering the building. 

With a sigh, Even finally sat in the car, and drove further and further away from Isak. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hii!! Well, I hope you liked the chapter! I've planned out the rest of them and know what will happen so it will be easier for me to put them out there and all that, plus I do have another WiP that I focus on in the meantime, but yeah. We now know how many chapters there will be in the fic, wow god bless.
> 
> Buut, I'd love to hear your thoughts, I just like talking to you guys in the comments!
> 
> If you have any questions about this or any other of my fics, OR if you have any prompts/headcanons you'd like me to either put in some of my fics OR write a one shot for, or if you just want to talk about hc's, you can head over to my tumblr:  isaksforelsket   
> Twitter: vandervaltersen


	7. guilt and bruises

**Isak💗**  

_Are you free this weekend?_

_Fuck, no I’m not, I said I’ll go to a party with Lea_ 😭 

_What about tomorrow?_

_I can’t baby, shit._

_We’ll figure it out. We can see each other next week, yeah? I’m free almost every day_

_Yeah definitely_ 💕 

Even felt a shove on his side, a foot digging into his ribs and making him flinch and glance up, finally taking notice of a rather amused looking Mikael. 

“What?” He said as he locked his phone, moving his legs and pulling his knees up to his chest while turning around to face Mikael. 

Mikael rolled their eyes and drew their legs back further away from Even, crossing them and sitting on them as they leaned forward, a knowing smile on their face, “You’ve been staring at your phone and smiling like a moron for way too long, it’s honestly a bit worrying since I’m right here. You know, me? The most interesting person alive?” 

With a roll of his eyes Even sighed loudly and leaned his head against the back of the couch, pursing his lips in thought and looking off to the side as he remembered the reason for his happiness, unsure whether he wanted to share this with Mikael or not, fearing that saying it out loud would solidify it, make it even more real and it would hurt all the more if it all got fucked up when Lea found out. 

“So,” Mikael started when they noticed Even zoning out once again, “What’s up?” 

A sigh escaped him before he bit his bottom lip, deciding that he couldn't keep it in as he tried to contain a smile but failed, his lips quirking up off of their own accord. 

“Remember that guy I told you I like? The one you saw at the party?” He asked with an arched brow, warmth spreading throughout his body at the mere thought of the boy.

Mikael squinted their eyes in thought, their head tilting to the side before their eyes widened as they remembered, snapping their fingers, “Oh, yeah I remember. The cute twink.” 

Even rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his hair, heat spreading to his face as he nodded, “Yeah sure, the cute twink, that's what we'll call him." 

“So, what about him?” Mikael asked as they leaned their elbow on the back of the couch, placing their head on the palm.

Taking a deep breath, Even tried not to grin as he spoke, “We're having a thing.” 

Mikael blinked at him before their lips spread in a grin, their hand lifting up as they offered Even a fist bump, which he gladly took with a fond shake of his head, rolling his eyes when in reality he couldn't be happier. 

“Wow, you actually took my advice for once. You’re welcome,” Mikael spoke with a smirk, nodding at him with an impressed expression on their face.

Even rolled his eyes at that, "Shut up, you get no credit for this."

Mikael waved a dismissive hand at that, "We both know I do, I brought you two together and you will love me and cherish me forever because of it."

With a groan, Even rubbed a hand over his face before raising his brows while looking at Mikael, "Sure, whatever." 

“So, did you fuck or what?” Mikael spoke after a beat of silence.

Even felt a flush rise to his cheeks at the thought of that, but he quickly shook his head as he looked at Mikael. 

“No, we just made out and shit. He spent the weekend here but we didn't do anything,” He said quietly, the memories of the moments he had spent with Isak forever engrained in his mind, unable to escape him even for a fleeting moment. Ever since they had said goodbye to each other three days ago, he had been thinking of nothing but Isak, Isak, Isak. His soft lips pressed up against Even's, the light giggles he let out when Even trailed tender touches on his sensitive pale skin, the smell of the boy still soaked into his bedsheets, enveloping him like a hug whenever he lay in them. 

“God, am I gonna have to deal with that all the time now?” Mikael snapped him out of his thoughts, making him focus his gaze back onto them. 

He frowned at them and their smug grin in confusion, “Deal with what?” 

With a roll of their eyes, they gestured towards his face, “That stupid lovesick look on your face, it's making me want to be all sappy and in love with someone, it's not fair.” 

Even looked away for a moment, a smile and a blush spreading on his face before he mumbled out, “Shut up.” 

A moment of silence had passed and Even looked back to Mikael, their bottom lip between their teeth as they kept their eyes on Even and he could see they were thinking of asking something. 

“Did you tell Lea?” They said suddenly, their face sympathetic and inquisitive as Even's mood soured immediately at the reminder of the topic that had been running through his mind ever since he had first kissed Isak, and the feeling of guilt seemed to become stronger with each time he remembered that he was hiding something from her. 

He shook his head, grimacing and looking off to the side, resulting in a frustrated groan from Mikael. 

“You have to tell her,” They said with a calm voice, yet Even knew there was a hint of warning in the words, and he also knew that they were right. 

“I will,” He sighed in annoyance and trepidation, “I just don’t know how, I don’t want it to get fucked up.” 

Mikael released a breath, their lips pulling up in a sympathetic smile, their eyes twinkling with empathy, “Just tell her man, straight up. I think she’d rather hear it from you than find out some other way. Plus, if you wait for too long she’ll just feel like you were hiding it from her and deceiving her.” 

Even sighed and rubbed a hand over his face before he moved down to lay on his back, leaning his head on the arm of the couch and placing his legs onto Mikael's lap, dramatically throwing an arm over his face and pouting. 

“But I don’t want to, I don’t like confrontation,” He whined as Mikael released a groan. 

“Yes, I’m aware, you’re a baby,” Even looked back to them as they ran a hand through their dark hair, pushing the strands back before they continued, “But you have to do it.” 

Even sighed in resignation and shut his eyes, “I know, I’ll tell her.” 

He felt Mikael pat his leg in a comforting manner as they spoke, "I’m sure it’ll be fine. She’s just being overprotective of him cause it’s her little brother and you’re her friend, she'll probably be really supportive of you both when she realizes how happy you are."

"Yeah," He sighed, trying to convince himself that Mikael was right, "I hope so."

* * *

So, the next day--after Lea texted him saying that she was bored and in desperate need of entertainment--he found himself splayed out on her couch, his legs thrown over the arm of it, his T-shirt riding up slightly and revealing a sliver of skin and the light hair leading down to his sweatpants as he lifted his hand up to where his head was placed in Lea's lap, inhaling the smoke from the joint as the girl rambled on about some guy that spilt his coffee on her, her words rushed and leaving Even rather confused, the strong substance blurring his mind. He frowned as he let her take the burning item from his limp hand, his gaze following it and observing her lips wrapping around it as she took an inhale and carried on speaking. 

“I mean, at least he apologized, but still, why me? The universe hates me and I have no luck in life,” She sighed with a pout, one of her hands trailing through Even’s hair as she lowered the other, placing the blunt in between his lips as he looked up at her, trying not to laugh, or even grin, at her misfortune. But apparently, he had failed because when she looked down at him, she rolled her eyes and groaned, throwing her head back and looking up at the ceiling before she averted her gaze back to Even. 

“What?” He said as he grinned at her lazily, his eyes drooping closed when he took another puff of the smoke before handing it to her. 

She put her thumb and forefinger on the corners of Even’s mouth, trying to pull his lips down to make his smile disappear as she pouted, “Stop fucking grinning at me, I need you to feel bad and comfort me.” 

Even snorted as Lea moved her hand away, her bottom lip still in a pout as she frowned down at him before she lifted her hand up, scratching the tip of her nose with her fingers. 

“You want me to pity you?” 

Lea nodded enthusiastically, her eyebrows raised high, and her hand waving around in the air as she spoke, “Yes, you need to say ‘Oh Lea, baby that’s such a shame, you have the worst luck’, I need sympathy in my life to survive, okay?” 

Even squinted and nodded his head, reaching up and patting her cheek gently. 

“There, there, it’s okay. It must be horrible being you, getting a single drop of coffee spilt on you,” He spoke mockingly, holding back a laugh as Lea gasped in shock, batting his hand away from her cheek and scowling at him. 

“It was terrible, worst day of my life,” She scrunched up her nose, tilting her chin up in defiance and looking to the side as Even laughed, trying his hardest to ignore the thought that her gestures reminded him far too much of Isak.

She lifted her hand up, taking a deep inhale of the smoke, her chest expanding as she did so, and just as Even opened his mouth to speak, he heard the front door open, sound of laughter coming through before he recognized one of the voices, a smile pulling on his lips at the noise.

Lea's eyes widened, the hand holding the lit blunt hiding behind the arm of the couch, her mouth closed shut to contain the smoke as they watched Isak stumble into the living room, a boy with curly dark hair, a yellow beanie pulled over his head, walking behind him.

“Jonas, shut up, they’re here, I know they are,” Isak said harshly, his brows furrowed together before he looked at Even and Lea, stopping in his tracks at the sight.

Even gave him a small wave, the weed blurring his thoughts and stopping him from thinking straight. He watched as a blush spread on Isak's cheeks, a smile appearing on his face before he looked up, rolling his eyes at Lea.

Even glanced up at her, noticing she was still keeping her mouth closed, a grimace on her face as she held in her breath.

"Lea, you dumbass I can see the smoke coming from behind the couch, I'm not going to yell at you or some shit just cause you're smoking," Isak said quickly, Jonas and Even both snorting at that.

Even kept his eyes on Isak for a moment longer, biting his lip as he trailed his eyes over his figure, licking his lips at the way his black jeans hugged his thighs perfectly. He glanced up at Isak's face quickly, remembering where he was, and he couldn't help but notice Isak's friend looking at him, arching a brow and barely containing a smirk. 

Even looked up at Lea, a flush covering his face at the knowledge that he had been caught staring, and he was just in time to see Lea roll her eyes, finally releasing the smoke she was holding in and lifting her hand up, pushing Even off of her lap and leaning forward, extinguishing the joint into the ashtray placed on the coffee table.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Lea asked with a frown on her face as she pulled her knees up towards her while Even moved to the other side of the couch, looking back towards Isak as he placed his arm on the back of it, spreading his legs out in front of him as Isak glanced towards him before looking back towards Lea.

“I left some books here, and we need to study,” He said as he wrung his hands in front of him, still not moving from the spot, his eyes occasionally flicking towards Even as the older boy kept his gaze firmly locked on him, the weed he had previously consumed rendering him useless to remember that Lea was sitting right next to him.

The boy next to him shoved him to the side, rolling his eyes as Isak stumbled, "Come on then, go and get them."

Isak gripped his sleeve, yanking him along with him into the guest room, turning for a moment to scowl at him.

Rubbing a hand over his face, Even sighed and tilted his head back, gazing up at the ceiling for a moment before looking over to Lea, the girl biting her lip, her brows furrowed before she shook her head slightly and looked over to Even.

"Wanna go out this weekend?" She asked cheerfully, apparently shaking herself out of her thoughts.

"Whose party is it?" He said as he pulled one of his legs up on the couch, wrapping a hand around his ankle.

Lea waved a hand around as she spoke, "Some guy I know through Isak is throwing it, he just started uni or some shit, I don't know. But he's chill, I think Isak is really close with him."

She spoke quickly, a strange glimmer in her eye as she finished the sentence, pausing for a second, almost as if she was waiting for a reaction to what she had said. Even pursed his lips in thought, looking down and trying not to overthink about who this boy could be, but then Lea carried on, "I mean, Isak will be going as well since the guy kind of invited him specifically and then said I can come as well, but he's gonna be off with his crowd. So, don't worry we won't have to babysit."

She laughed slightly, Even forcing a smile at that, the mention of the boy making him remember why he even agreed to come to her place, making him remember the plan that he had.

But he knew now was not the time to tell her. 

So, he looked over to her and shrugged in response, "Yeah, sure."

She squealed in excitement, a wide smile on her face as she got up, grabbing her phone off of the dining table before she rushed over to the kitchen, getting one of the menus and sitting up on the counter.

"You want pizza?" She said as she looked at the paper.

"Sure," Even spoke, glancing towards the door of the room Isak was in. And, as if he had sensed Even's gaze, Isak stumbled out, closing his backpack before he pushed it back, pulling the strap higher over his shoulder and looking over at Even, his gaze falling downwards as he blushed at the attention.

"Are you guys staying over? We're ordering pizza," Lea asked without looking up from the menu, Isak looking at Even with wide eyes for a moment before Even noticed Jonas roll his eyes at Isak's silence.

"No, we really have to go, we have shit to do," The dark-haired boy spoke before he gripped Isak's arm, tilting his head back and gesturing towards the door when Isak looked over at him.

"Y-yeah," Isak stuttered out, coughing slightly as he looked at Even, not looking away while speaking, "We have to go, I'll see you later."

They started walking towards the door as Lea mumbled out, still not looking at them, "Whatever, see you."

Even kept his eyes on Isak, his gaze trailing downwards to his round ass before he looked back up, just in time for Isak to turn towards him, shooting him a coy smile. Even lifted his hand up, giving him a small wave as he smirked when the boy rolled his eyes, turning to the front and walking towards the door.

"Bye," He heard them both yell out as the door closed shut behind them.

There was still a smile on his face as he trailed his gaze back to Lea, only to find the girl already looking at him with a frown, her head tilted to the side, making his smile falter in concern, his heart skipping a beat as he realized she might have seen his interaction with Isak.

Even was just about to ask her what was wrong when she shook her head in a barely noticeable movement and jumped off the counter, walking over to Even and handing him the menu with a grin on her face.

"Please order, if I talk to anyone on the phone I'll die."

He rolled his eyes, but he knew he couldn't deny her, he couldn't say no to her, the guilt he felt pressing on his chest compelling him to say yes to her every whim and desire. 

So he did as he was told and whenever thoughts of the imminent conversation crossed his mind, he was quick to push them to the further end of his mind and ignore them completely.

* * *

Even leaned back against the wall, feeling the vibrations of the booming bass course through his body as Lea swayed to the music next to him, her green eyes accentuated by the black eyeliner she had on, her lips moving to the words of the song and tinted pink from the lipstick that has now been smudged all over the rim of the cup she was holding. He watched as she giggled when Isak said something to her, making a smile appear on Even's face as the boy grinned at her, his cheeks flushed from the amount alcohol he had consumed so far, his hair curling on the edges from the perspiration in the air and the sweat on his body, a black t-shirt hugged his body loosely, revealing his collarbones. 

Even took a sip of the drink he held in his hand, tipping the bottle back to stop himself from reaching over and pushing Isak up against the wall, and judging by the shy glances and the eyes trailing over his body, Isak was trying to contain himself as much as Even was.

He felt Isak's body press up against his, the boy shyly looking up at him through his lashes, mouthing a 'sorry' as the crowd pushed him, but Even knew that was only a farse. He knew by the smug smirk on Isak's face that the boy was desperate for Even's touch on his body, that all he wanted to do was have Even hold him close, but they both knew better than to do anything. 

Even glanced towards Lea, the girl pulling the hem of her tight T-shirt down as she looked around the room, still swaying in one spot to the beat of the song.

He took another sip of his beer, trying to focus on anything but Isak, but he couldn't. He kept finding his gaze trail over  the flush of Isak’s cheeks, the glimmer in his green eyes whenever he looked up at Even, the teeth digging into his bottom lip and Even desperately wanted to reach out, trace his thumb over it and make him release it to see if it’s as red and inviting as he imagined it to be, to see if the boy tasted as sweet as he remembered.

He moved his arm, unable to resist the urge of letting his hand graze against Isak’s side, the boy shuffling closer to him at the touch, looking around and pretending it was because of the people around him, but Even knew otherwise.

Lea leaned back against the wall, taking a sip of the juice she was nursing, not wanting to drink anything as she still had to drive home, and she seemed to be completely oblivious to the proximity between Isak and him, oblivious to the hand Even brushing against the small of Isak's back, the boy's breath hitching at the contact.

He was just about to push the tips of his fingers beneath Isak's T-shirt, desperate to feel the warmth of his skin, when he felt the boy being pulled away from him, an excited, slurring voice heard straight after.

“Hey, Isak,” Even watched as the dark-haired boy pulled a smiling Isak by his arm into a tight hug, Isak’s arms wrapped around his waist as he held him tightly. The sight made Even inhale sharply as he remembered just who that was, the memories of him standing between Isak's legs and gripping his body making him tense up.

And then, he saw the boy press a long kiss to Isak’s temple before he moved away, his hand trailing down Isak’s arm slowly, smirking at him when Isak looked down, moving away from his touch. 

The older boy moved from Isak, stepping towards Lea and wrapping his arms around her in a tight hold for a moment before turning back towards Isak, not even bothering to look at Even.

Even tightened the hold he had on his nearly empty beer bottle, his jaw clenching and his nostrils flaring as he watched Chris lean in to say something to Isak, his lips brushing against the boy's ear, his hand coming around to rest on the arch of his back as Isak's face flushed even further at the touch, his eyes flickering towards Even before looking back towards Chris when he moved away. Even noticed the arch of the boy's brow as he waited for Isak to respond, a sly grin pulling on his lips as his hand moved to the dip of Isak's waist. Even stared off to the side, unable to contain a smirk when he saw Isak shake his head, taking a step back as a disappointed expression took over Chris’s features at the response before he shrugged his shoulders, but before he left, he leaned in, smirking as he said something to him and started walking backwards away from him, winking before turning around and disappearing into the crowd. 

Isak turned towards them with an apologetic smile directed towards Even, his cheeks flushed slightly from the encounter.

Even felt a pull on his arm, Lea leaning up towards him to say something to him.

"I'm gonna go and get a drink, you want anything?"

Even shook his head and watched as she spoke to Isak, the boy shaking his head before she left them without a glance back, moving through the dancing mass of people.

As soon as she was gone, Even carefully making sure she wasn't near, he gripped the side of Isak's T-shirt, pulling him in close, the boy's hands coming up to Even's chest as Even leaned closer, his breath hitting the soft skin of Isak's neck.

"Meet me upstairs in the bathroom in 5 minutes," He said before pressing a kiss to his neck, winking at the dazed boy in front of him before he pushed through between the groups of people, quickly climbing up the stairs and finding the bathroom straight away, stepping in and counting down the seconds until Isak joined him.

He heard a small knock on the door from where he was leaning back on the counter, and then the door opened slowly, Isak's head pushing through the opening before a grin spread on his face and he quickly entered it, shutting the door behind him and locking it before Even took a quick step towards him, pushing the boy up against it.

Isak's arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him down as Even leaned his forehead against Isak's, his hands finding their way to his tapered waist.

"Hello," Isak whispered with a fond smile on his face, twinkly eyes looking up at him.

With a huff, Even moved forward until his lips were mere inches away from Isak's, brushing against them as he spoke, "Hi."

He would've teased the boy more, moved his head away when Isak leaned upwards, make him desperate, but he couldn't, he could barely contain himself as he connected their lips, their bodies as close together as they could get as they kissed slowly, languidly, with all the time in the world while the booming sound of the music from downstairs carried on.

Moving his hands downwards, Even trailed them down the boy's ass, gripping it tightly and pulling him towards him, Isak whimpering into the kiss before Even moved on, gripping his thighs and pulling him up, lifting him before turning around, taking a step towards the counter and placing Isak on it.

He felt Isak's legs wrap around his hips, pulling him closer as he trailed his one of his hands down the side of his thigh, the other one moving under his shirt, holding onto his hip as their tongues met, Isak whimpering softly when Even pulled him closer, their crotches meeting in the middle.

And he could feel just how much Isak was affected by this, he could feel his shaky hands running through his hair, gripping the strands as he moaned when Even nipped his lip.

The memories of what he had witnessed downstairs crossed his mind, the thoughts of the older boys hands on Isak's waist flashing before his eyes, and his grip tightened at that, a groan escaping his lips as he tasted the whimpers and whines emitting from Isak.

He moved his hand upwards, pushing his fingers into Isak's curls and gripping them, moving his head to the side, separating their lips and trailing kisses down his cheek, down that sharp jawline until he reached his neck. 

He heard Isak's breath hitch when he brushed over a sensitive spot on his neck, a smirk appearing on his face as he pressed his lips against it, grazing his teeth over it before smoothing it over with his tongue. He sucked on the soft skin, kissing and licking and listening to Isak moan and pant, Isak'shands gripping his hair and his hips bucking towards him until Even moved away, colour blooming on the place he had just left. He smirked as he trailed his fingertips over it, knowing that he had left a mark on his boy, that people would see it and they'd know he was taken.

"Ev," Isak whimpered out as Even lifted his gaze to his face, his cock twitching at the sheer desperation emitting from the boy; his lips red and spit slicken; a small ring of green visible around his dilated pupils; his chest rising and falling rapidly as he panted and gripped Even's shirt, pulling him closer and moving his head towards him.

"Please, kiss me," Isak whispered softly, his eyes half-lidded as he chased Even's lips.

"So needy," Even spoke before lifting his hand, tracing Isak's bottom lip with his thumb, pulling on it gently as the boy's tongue flicked out, grazing the pad of it lightly.

Unable to restrain himself, Even leaned it, capturing his lips in a bruising kiss once more, pulling on Isak's cheek and making him open his mouth immediately, the boy whimpering and pulling him closer, always closer.

Wrapping an arm around his waist, he pulled him in, their erections pressing tightly against each other as he moved his other hand beneath his T-shirt, goosebumps raising where he trailed touches on the arch of his back.

"Even," Isak whimpered out, breaking the kiss for a moment, "Please touch me."

Even's body tensed up for a moment as Isak kissed him again, shaky fingertips gripping the waistband of Even's jeans. He inhaled sharply at that, breaking the kiss and wrapping his fingers around Isak's slim wrists, the boy stopping his movements where he was toying with the button of Even's pants immediately as Even leaned his forehead against Isak's, opening his eyes and moving away to look at Isak, a confused expression on the smaller boy's face.

"Baby, fuck," Even groaned out, leaning forward and pecking his lips before moving away once more, Isak's expression becoming more and more insecure with each second that passed.

"W-what did I do wrong?" Isak whispered with a shaky voice.

"We've both been drinking," Even started, releasing Isak's hands and cupping his face as delicately as he could, "And you didn't want to do anything while you were sober, I don't want you to do something you'll regret."

Small fists gripped his shirt, pulling him back closer to him until their chests were touching, Isak's lips trailing kisses down his jawline.

"But I want to," He said softly, one of his hands sliding downwards to his jeans, "I want you so bad."

Even dropped his head on Isak's shoulder, groaning before he kissed the bruise he had previously made.

"You're such a menace," Even looked up at him, sighing and placing a hand on his cheek, "Why do you have to make things so hard for me?"

He knew he had made a mistake the second the words left his mouth, Isak's lips spreading in a grin, about to speak when Even placed a finger over them.

"No," He said sternly, Isak pouting at that, "Do not."

He moved his finger away, placing both hands on Isak's thighs and looking at him carefully, watching as Isak looked down and bit his lip before meeting Even's eye once more, leaning forward and nuzzling their noses together.

"So," He started slowly, pecking Even's lips once, "Will you please touch me?"

"I'd love to," He said as a smile showed on Isak's face, thinking he was getting what he wanted, "But I can't."

Isak pouted at that, his fingers pushing into Even's hair and gripping the strands.

"Why not?"

"Because," He lifted his hand, trailing the back of his knuckles over Isak's cheek before placing his hand on his neck, "I already told you, we've been drinking, and I don't want the first time we do anything to be in the bathroom at a party of some random dickhead."

Isak grinned at that, shuffling closer to him, "His name is Chris."

Even rolled his eyes before looking back to the boy, arching one of his brows as he spoke, "Whatever."

"Are you jealous?" Isak poked his cheek with a finger, making Even grip it, pressing a kiss to the tip of it before letting go.

"Nope," He said, trying to sound convincing even though he knew his voice wavered and he gave himself away.

"You don't have to be," Isak leaned in, kissing his cheek softly, making Even's lips curl up in a smile as he continued, "I only want you."

Eyebrows shooting up, a grin spread on his face as Isak tilted his chin up, his cheeks blushing at what he had said but he didn't take it back.

Moving forward, Even pressed a tender kiss to his lips, trying to put in all of his emotions into that single touch, hoping to convey just how happy he was.

As they moved away from each other, Even stroked a thumb over his cheekbone, Isak tilting his head into the touch and smiling at him softly.

"We should go, Lea will be looking for us," Even said, his heart clenching at the reminder of his friend. And it seemed to dampen Isak's mood as well, the boy looking down before he hopped down from the counter, glancing up at Even as he bit his lip.

"We're gonna have to tell her about us," Isak said quietly, his hands coming up to Even's chest, his fingertips pressing into his collarbones as Even's hands found their way onto Isak's waist.

"I know, we'll tell her soon," Even replied with a smile, Isak returning it and glancing down at Even's lips.

Isak bit his lip in thought before stuttering out nervously, "Do y-you wanna meet up next week?"

With a smile, Even leaned in, kissing him as gently as he could before speaking, "Of course baby, come over to mine on Monday or something."

Isak nodded quickly, a smile quirking up on his lips.

"You go out first," Even spoke after a second of silence, cupping Isak's cheek, "I'll come down in a few minutes."

Isak stood on his tiptoes, kissing Even and gripping his T-shirt before moving away, pecking his cheek gently and walking towards the door, turning his head and shooting him a smile before taking a deep breath, finally leaving the room.

With a sigh, Even leaned back against the counter, rubbing a hand over his face before running it through his hair, trying to tame it and make himself look presentable. 

He turned around, taking one last look in the mirror, deciding that there was nothing he could do about the redness of his lips, or his dilated pupils before he headed towards the door. And, as he gripped the handle, all he could do was push thoughts of Lea and the sense of guilt overcoming him to the back of his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! Hope you liked the chapter, we're getting closer to the end of it now ahh!!
> 
> But, if you have any thoughts I'd love to hear 'em in the comments!
> 
> If you have any questions about this or any other of my fics, OR if you have any prompts/headcanons you'd like me to either put in some of my fics OR write a one shot for, OR if you just want to talk about hc's, you can head over to my Tumblr:  isaksforelsket   
> Twitter: vandervaltersen


	8. ecstasy and despair

"So, I'll come over next week then, yeah?" Sonja asked as Even rubbed a hand over his face where he lay on the couch, looking up at the ceiling and sighing as he moved his phone away from his ear for a moment, checking the time.

He was just about to respond when he heard a knock on the door, interrupting his thoughts and making him look towards the source of the sound.

“Fuck,” Even mumbled out as he sat up quickly.

“Huh? What?” Sonja asked with confusion seeping through her voice.

“I’ve gotta go, sorry. But yeah, I'll see you next week,” He stood from the couch, walking over to the door quickly, excitement already overwhelming him.

“Okay, I’ll talk to you later,” Sonja said quietly as Even ran a hand through his hair, making sure it wasn't a mess.

“Bye, Son,” He hung up as he gripped the door handle, placing his phone onto the small table next to the entrance, a smile already pulling on his face as he turned his hand.

Turning the doorknob, he opened the door. His grin widened as he saw Isak standing there, the light wash denim jeans he wore accentuating his curves perfectly as he bounced on the balls of his feet; a red beanie pulled over his curls, only the ends of the strands poking through, curling around the edges; his jacket and scarf wrapped tightly around him until he reached up, pulling the scarf down and revealing his broad smile.

“Hello,” Isak said softly, about to take a step forward when Even gripped his arm, pulling him into the apartment and shutting the door behind him as the boy screeched in surprise, following it by the most wonderful giggle Even had ever heard.

He cupped his cheeks, his thumbs catching on the soft skin as he caressed them before pressing their lips together firmly, Isak humming into it as he melted against him, his body becoming soft and pliant.

“Hey,” Even whispered as he separated from Isak for a moment, only to reconnect them straight after, kissing Isak’s smiling mouth, the gesture contagious and making the corners of his lips quirk up while he pushed Isak's beanie off, making it fall down.

Moving his hands down the arch of Isak's back, he cupped his round buttocks, his large hands covering it almost completely as he squeezed the muscles, making Isak whine for a moment before the boy started frantically unzipping his jacket, kicking his shoes off at the same time and pushing them off to the side. Even moved away from him for a second, helping him push his jacket off of his shoulders and pulling his scarf off, both of the garments landing haphazardly onto the wooden floor as their mouths reconnected.

His hands moved off of their own accord, first finding their way around Isak's back before sliding down and gripping Isak’s thighs, hoisting him upwards with a tight hold on his backside, the boy wrapping his legs around his slim waist as they carried on moving their tongues against each other.

Carefully taking step after step, Even walked to his room, the door already opened as he got to it, but he closed it shut with his foot once he entered, wanting to be completely separate from the rest of the world as he spent these blissful moments with Isak after they hadn’t seen each other since the party, after he hadn't been able to taste him or feel his body against his own for several torturous days.

He kept walking until his shins reached the side of his bed and he carefully placed Isak onto it, his arm wrapped around his waist and keeping him secured as he lowered himself on top of him, all the while not breaking their kiss apart.

Moving away, Even took a deep breath before opening his eyes as Isak lay his head down onto the pillow, his curls splayed out on it and his eyes glimmering with emotion, his hands moving over Even's neck and being pushed into his honey-coloured hair.

“I missed you,” Even said gently, his voice even softer than he had intended it to be, the truthfulness of the words revealed by his tone.

But, judging by the blush spreading on Isak’s cheeks and the smile appearing on his face, he did not seem to mind, proven by the words he spoke a moment later.

"I missed you too."

With a sweet quirk up of his lips, Isak wrapped his arms around Even's neck, pulling him down into a tender kiss once more as Even traced featherlight touches on his side, moving down his ribcage and over his hip until he grasped his leg, fingertips digging into the soft muscle as he pulled it up around his waist. His crotch firmly pressed up against Isak’s as he felt the boy harden against him, and he knew he’d have to put a stop to this soon enough.

He pressed a final kiss onto Isak's cupid's bow before he moved his head away, holding himself up on his forearms as Isak moved his fingers over his neck and down his chest. Wide eyes looking up at him while he slowly, with trepidation, moved downwards, fingertips catching on the cotton of Even's T-shirt as he continued his ministrations, all the while keeping eye contact with Even, looking at him with half-lidded eyes filled with lust.

He held his breath as Isak’s fingertips reached the waistband of his sweatpants, toying with the strings on them, his knuckles grazing over the soft hair travelling from his navel to his cock where his T-shirt had slid up.

“Baby, I-,” He started, but suddenly Isak’s hand was gripping his length with a tight hold, and he couldn’t hold in a groan, his eyes fluttered shut as his hips bucked forward into the touch.

“Is, we don’t have to do anything,” He said as he opened his eyes, Isak’s gaze directed downwards until he looked up at him, tilting his chin up in defiance and his tongue darting out to wet his lips.

“I know, but I want to,” He said with determination, his hand pushing into Even's hair as the other kept stroking his over his cock until he reached the tip, the wetness of it seeping through the fabric covering it as Isak pressed his thumb onto it, making Even's lips part open at the sensation.

And as Even looked into his sparkly eyes, he could see nothing but honesty. He bit his lip for a second before nodding, excitement and anticipation coursing through his veins as he pressed his lips to Isak’s once again, licking along his bottom lip, the boy obediently parting them and allowing Even to lick into his mouth.

As Isak stroked his cock through his pants, and as the pleasure spread throughout his body, he knew he wanted nothing more but to make Isak feel the same, to make him moan and writhe on his tongue and to see him fall apart.

“Isak,” Even started as he looked down at Isak, struggling to keep his eyes on him as Isak squeezed his hand, “Can I make you feel good?”

He felt Isak’s fingers tighten around him at the question before the boy dipped his chin down in a nod, Even dipping down and kissing him for a moment as Isak moved his hand away, placing it on Even's back and trailing lower until he slipped beneath his shirt, fingers creeping up over every vertebra and making shivers go through Even's body.

Pressing his lips to Isak's throat, he kissed the bruises he had previously left, licking over the purple marks, Isak’s breath hitching at the touch as Even slowly moved his hand beneath Isak’s T-shirt, feeling the tightening of Isak's abdomen against his calloused fingertips.

His mouth trailed down to Isak’s collarbone, sucking and licking until he was sure he had left another mark, a reminder of this moment between them. His hand deliberately trailed up until he reached the stiff peak of the boy's nipple, his fingernail digging into it gently as he twisted it, making Isak wriggle beneath him, his breath coming out harsh, a soft whimper exiting him when Even pinched it.

He lifted his head from where it was kissing the revealed bit of Isak’s chest, needing to see the expression on his face as he moved his hand to the other nipple, repeating his previous actions and watching as Isak’s lips parted, quick puffs of breath being exhaled as his shaky fingers ran through Even's hair.

“Tell me if you want to stop, okay?” Even said slowly, needing Isak to understand that he can still change his mind.

Isak nodded quickly before taking a shaky inhale of breath, “Please, touch me, Ev.”

Even kissed him one last time before sitting up, pulling on the hem of Isak’s shirt until the boy lifted himself up, allowing Even to pull the fabric over his head and throw it onto the floor haphazardly.

He did the same to his own T-shirt, and as he threw it to the side, his gaze came back to Isak. The boy lay back on the bed, his flushed chest rising and falling quickly, the skin on his torso turning red, matching the colour of his cheeks; his nipples stiff and perked up from Even's previous actions; the delicate lines of the muscles on his stomach tensing as he shuffled on the bed.

Isak whined needy and high pitched as Even kept still for a few moments, only observing and marvelling in the boy's beauty, unable to think coherent thoughts at the sight. Snapping himself out of his daze, Even shook his head and ran a hand down Isak’s side, fingers running over his ribs and feeling the warmth of his skin.

Carefully approaching the button of his jeans, Even looked at Isak, observing his reactions until the boy nodded, Even popping the button open and unzipping the pants straight away, gripping the waistband and peeling them off of Isak’s long legs, his socks following and being thrown next to their T-shirts.

He trailed his gaze over the skin revealed to his eyes, the only garment covering Isak being his tight, white boxers, a wet patch of pre-cum right where the tip of his hard dick was.

He leaned forward, kissing the boy passionately, licking into his mouth as his hand moved over his smooth thigh, carefully curling around his hip before he dipped his thumb into the waistband of his boxers, allowing the band to snap back against his skin, the boy whimpering into the kiss at the feeling. 

Sitting back on his haunches, Even pulled his boxers down, carelessly tossing them to the side as Isak’s dick was revealed, the pre-cum dripping onto his stomach.

"Fuck, you're so gorgeous," Even said breathlessly, Isak looking down as the redness of his face intensified at the comment.

Placing a hand on his ankle, Even lifted Isak's leg up, his hand moving down onto the silky skin of his calf as he pressed a kiss to the side of it, moving down his leg, continuously pressing his lips to the skin and leaving goosebumps in his wake until he reached Isak's inner thigh. He leant lower, sucking on the tender skin as the boy whimpered, red and purple showing on the spot before he moved on, slowly moving upwards until he reached the clean-shaven skin on Isak's crotch, and slowly, as Isak panted beneath him, he licked along the shaft of his cock, twitching at the feeling of Even's wet tongue on it. Isak whined in pleasure, the sound turning into a moan as Even sucked the tip into his mouth.

He bobbed his head up and down slowly, his hands wrapping around Isak's thighs before he moved one of them, slowly tracing his fingertips along the soft spot where his thigh met his groin. He looked up at Isak, watching as the boy's mouth dropped open when he sucked particularly hard, his eyes fluttering shut at the feeling. Even's hand moved slowly until he trailed it down the smooth skin of his balls, slowly massaging them before he moved on down his perineum, and finally reaching the place he had thought of far too often in the dark hours of the night.

As his finger touched the sensitive skin, Isak whimpered, Even stilling his movements for a moment until he felt Isak spread his legs further, grinding his hips downwards to get more pressure on his entrance.

With a teasing touch, Even started trailing circles around his entrance as he hollowed his cheeks around Isak's dick, the pre-cum bursting on his tastebuds and making him groan in appreciation of the taste, his hips grinding down onto the bed in small circles, trying to get some sort of pressure on his aching erection.

He popped off of Isak's dick, the sound echoing in the room as Isak looked down at him, his eyes opening slowly as he panted, watching as Even moved lower, suckling and licking on his balls before he moved on, pressing a kiss on his perineum and finally flicking his tongue over Isak's rim, and he would've stopped, would've asked if this was okay, but it wasn't needed. As Isak was already moaning louder than before, reaching lower and gripping his cheeks, spreading them apart and allowing Even to see his tight, pink hole.

Straight away, he dived in, pushing his face between Isak's buttocks and licking over the rim and his perineum with a wide tongue before moving back down, pointing it, pushing inside and licking along his tight walls. 

"Fuck Even, do that again, please," Isak panted out as Even repeated his movements, constantly licking along his hole before putting his tongue inside of him as Isak released his cheeks, his hands dropping down onto the bed when Even pursed his lips and sucked on the sensitive skin.

Moving his hands, he placed his thumbs on the edge of his rim, spreading him further apart and allowing him to stick his tongue further inside of him, groaning at the taste, the vibrations making Isak moan loudly in return.

He moved his face away, wiping the spit off of his face and staring at Isak's reddened, wet rim. He traced the edge of it with his forefinger, softly rubbing it and he had to ask.

"Can I?" Even asked carefully, slowly pushing on his hole and barely breaching it with his finger, indicating what he had meant.

With an audible gulp, Isak nodded quickly, his lips parting on a shaky exhale of breath before he whined, moving his hips down desperately.

"Please, Ev, please, I- I need you, please," He stammered out, Even kneeling up and looming over him, leaning on his forearms next to Isak's head.

"Hey, hey," He said as he tucked a strand of hair behind his ear, nuzzling his nose against Isak's in reassurance, "Relax, I've got you, baby."

He pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, trying to calm him as Isak's hands came to Even's sides, trembling fingers running down his body as he took in a deep breath.

Even moved his arm to the side, opening the drawer to the nightstand and shuffling through it until he grabbed a half-empty bottle of clear lubricant, placing it on the bed before he looked back to Isak.

"Have you ever done this before?" He asked slowly, not wanting to overwhelm the boy and needing to know how slowly he should take this.

Isak looked down as a blush rose on his cheeks, his skin reddening even further but this time it was for a reason other than pure excitement. His fingers trailed over Even's chest until he slid them over his ribs, leaving them there and scratching gently for a second before he shook his head with a frown, his tongue darting out and wetting his lips, Even tracking the movement before he looked back up at his eyes.

"I- I've, you know," He moved his hands, gesturing in the air as Even raised his eyebrows at that, Isak rolling his eyes before he continued, "I've done it to myself, but that's it."

Even's cock twitched at that, his lips parting at the thought of this angelic boy splayed out on his bed, his naked body on display as he fingered himself open, moaning and whimpering as he brought himself to the peak of pleasure.

Even groaned as he leaned forward, kissing him firmly before he moved away, looking at him with lustful eyes.

"Yeah? You finger yourself, baby?" He trailed a hand down Isak's stomach, gripping his cock and moving his hand up as the boy's eyes widened at the question before looking down, nodding shyly while he panted in ecstasy.

"Come on baby," He leaned forward, kissing his cheek before whispering into his ear, "Tell me what you think about when you touch yourself."

Isak whined as Even slid a thumb over the head of his dick, squeezing gently before pulling the foreskin down.

"Y-you," Isak stuttered out with a whimper, Even reaching the edge of his orgasm embarrassingly fast as Isak carried on, "I think about you, about you fucking me, touching me."

"Fuck," Even groaned out as he leaned forth, sucking on the skin of Isak's neck before speaking, "Such a good boy for me, Isak." 

He kissed him one last time, making sure to make it filthy, slipping his tongue inside of his mouth and moving it in a way that he knew Isak liked, that he knew would reduce Isak to a whimpering mess. And he succeeded as he heard Isak moan into it, and then he moved away, Isak's eyes opening up slowly, a glazed over look to them as he lay back onto the pillow.

Even leaned back, grabbing the bottle of lube and uncapping it as he sat in between Isak's spread out legs, his eyes tracing over every inch of beautiful skin revealed to him.

Sensing his gaze on him, Isak went to close his legs to hide himself and his most intimate area, but Even saw what he was doing, immediately placing a hand on his inner thigh and pushing back until his legs fell apart once again.

"Don't, angel," He said as he rubbed a gentle circle onto his leg before bending over, pressing a kiss to the side of his knee, "Don't be embarrassed, you're so beautiful."

He spread the liquid onto his fingers, rubbing them slowly and spreading it around, making sure it wasn't too cold. Slowly, gingerly, he moved them until he was rubbing them over Isak's rim, the boy keening at the sensation and looking up at him with teary eyes, his thighs shaking in anticipation of what was to come.

"Just relax, love," He watched as Isak melted at the pet name, relaxing into the sheets and allowing Even to press a finger inside of him, crooking it just the right way and grazing it over his prostate, watching as Isak's cock twitched when he made contact with it.

"There we go, Isak, that's good," He said gently, his hand running up and down his leg and leaving it on his thigh, rubbing circles with his thumb as he began to move his finger, slowly moving it out before he pushed it back in, repeating the action over and over again until Isak was moaning loudly.

"Even, more, please, I- I need more," He whimpered out as his hands grasped the covers on the bed, knuckles white from the force applied.

As he listened to the boy beg and whine for him, he couldn't help but move his hand and grip his cock through his pants, adjusting himself and worshipping the few moments of relief before he moved his hand away, slowly pulling his finger out of Isak only to apply another one. The warm, taut muscle surrounding him leaving him unable to stop himself from thinking about how glorious it would feel around his cock. Images of Isak's pretty face as he put his cock inside of him flashing before his eyes, a groan emitting from him while he pushed his fingers deeper into the boy, setting a harsh, quick pace and unravelling Isak one by one bit, turning him into a trembling mess, his body moving from the force of Even's fingers entering him, his back arching and his hips pushing towards Even's hand, tears now falling down his reddened cheeks as he moved his hands from the sheets, gripping the backs of his knees and pulling them up to his chest. Even groaned at the sight of the boy presenting himself, his pink rim stretched open around him, now fully visible as Even put a firm large hand on his thigh, continuing to fuck deeper into Isak.

"You look so beautiful Isak, look at you, fuck. I could spend hours just making you feel good, making you come over and over again. You look so pretty like this angel, so fucking stunning, I bet you look even better when you're coming," He ran his mouth as Isak stared up at him with tear-filled eyes, his mouth opened and releasing loud strenuous moans constantly, his parted teeth visible slightly as he bit onto his bottom lip before releasing the reddened flesh. 

"Even," He started but got interrupted by a moan as Even gripped his cock, moving his hand in firm methodical movements, designed to bring Isak closer to the edge.

"Fuck, I'm gonna- I'm gonna come," Isak cried out as Even quickened his movements, desperate to witness the moment this beautiful creature reaches his peak.

"Come on, baby, let go, come for me," He spoke quickly, biting his lip as he pushed his fingers in deep, pressing down onto his prostate and applying firm pressure, moving the pads of his fingers over the swollen bud in sure circular movements as his other hand kept working over Isak's dick, his thumb sliding over the tip until Isak's body tensed up. 

Time seemed to stop, Isak's body curling in on itself as his abdomen muscles tensed, and suddenly, he released the hold he had on his legs, allowing them to fall onto the bed as he moaned louder than before; his cock jerking where Even held it as Isak finally came, the sperm shooting all over his stomach and down Even's knuckles, the feeling somehow bringing Even closer to the edge than he already was; the golden curls Even adored so much bouncing on his head as he threw it back onto the pillow; those perfectly sculpted lips parted, his moans coming out louder than before, Even's cock twitching at the thought of recording those sounds, allowing him to hear them over and over again; Isak's brows furrowed in pleasure as he shut his eyes tightly in pleasure. He kept working the fingers inside of Isak's ass, grazing over the twitching spot and milking his orgasm, making sure that the pleasure the boy felt lasted for as long as possible. And then, he watched as Isak's body lay limp onto the bed, as if all the strands holding him up were cut, his chest moving up and down rapidly before he whimpered, his ass clenching around Even and his head moving to the side, needing Even to stop.

Ever so slowly, Even released his dick from his grip and pulled his fingers out, Isak whimpering at the loss as Even rubbed them over his rim for a moment, feeling it clench and flutter beneath his touch. He simply observed the boy for a moment. He watched as his torso moved, come splattered all over it, mixing in with the redness of his skin, his legs shaking where he propped them up, his head moving until he was facing Even, and those beautiful green eyes were revealed.

Even smiled at the boy sweetly, leaning to the side and grabbing a tissue from the nightstand, softly cleaning Isak up, wiping the come and lube off of him before he wiped his hand as well, throwing the tissue into the trash can on the side of his bed.

Bending forward, Even moved above Isak, watching as the boy lifted his arms, wrapping them around Even's neck and pulling him down towards him.

Even kissed him softly, gently, as if he was the most precious thing he had ever had the honour of touching, and as their lips parted he leaned his forehead against Isak's, nuzzling their noses together before moving away from him, watching as a satisfied smile spread on Isak's lips.

"That was nice," Isak said quietly, Even huffing out a laugh at that before he pecked the tip of his nose, making Isak scrunch it up in an all too familiar fashion.

"Good," Even said, about to move to the side and lay down, now painfully aware of his hardened length pressing onto Isak's thigh, but then he felt Isak move his arm, slowly running his hand over his shoulder and his collarbones, moving downwards with a sure hand until he reached the waistband of his sweatbands and pushed inside of them, gripping Even's hard cock through his boxers.

Even groaned at that, his hips tilting forward as the boy slowly moved his hand.

Even's head dropped down onto his shoulder for a split second before he lifted it back up, looking at Isak as he spoke, "You don't have to, baby."

Isak moved his hand away, and for a moment Even thought he was pulling away, but then he was pushing into Even's boxers, gripping his cock firmly and sliding over the length.

"Ev," Isak said softly, almost going by unnoticed, but Even heard him regardless, looking straight into his eyes as he bit his lip at Isak's palm moving over the head of his dick.

"Yeah, baby?"

"Can I-" He started but stopped for a moment, taking in a deep breath and looking into Even's eyes before he continued, "Can I suck you off?"

Even groaned as he pushed into Isak's hand before nodding, "Yeah, fuck, you can."

He moved away from him, Isak's hand slipping out of his pants as Even lay back onto the bed, leaning back on the headboard and watching as Isak moved to kneel in between his spread-out legs.

Isak pushed his shaky fingers into the waistband of his pants and boxers, slowly pulling both the garments off at the same time and throwing them to the side.

Even watched as his cock bobbed up, the head of it wet with pre-cum and swollen from how badly he wanted to come, from how long he had lasted without touching himself.

He heard a small whimper come out of Isak at the sight, making him bite his lip to contain a smirk at the boy's reaction, watching as Isak kept his eyes on him, apparently unable to look away.

His heartbeat sped up as he watched Isak let out a shaky exhale of breath, one of his hands coming up to Even's thigh as his other one slowly gripped his cock, making him bite his lip at the sense of relief he felt from that small, shy touch. Isak moved his hand slowly, stroking his large length until he reached the tip, sliding his thumb over the slit before he pulled it back down.

Even's toes curled at the feeling, and he looked at Isak's face, his eyes focused on what he was doing, not looking away for a second, yet there was a hint of nervousness in those irises.

"Is," Even said quietly, waiting until the boy looked up at him, "If you don't want to, it's okay, you know?"

Instead of answering him, Isak took a deep breath and stilled his hand, parting his lips as he moved lower until the head of Even's cock slid in between them. Even groaned at the wet heat enveloping him, his hands gripping the sheets as Isak slid his tongue over the slit, his eyes rolling into the back of his head as he moaned at the taste, Even's cock twitching at the sight.

Isak slid down lower, his wet tongue flattening along Even's shaft as he hollowed his cheeks out, moving his head back up and setting up a slow, torturous pace; but Even didn't mind how slow Isak took it. 

The feeling around him made him drop his head back against the wall, groaning as Isak slid down lower and lower until he gagged, Even's gaze focusing on him once more as he slid a hand into his curls and pulled him up.

"Go slow gorgeous, don't hurt yourself," He scratched at Isak's scalp encouragingly as the boy looked up at him with wide eyes before Even gripped his dick at the base, sliding it over Isak's parted lips as Isak's eyes fluttered shut, allowing Even to marvel at his beauty. His lashes were casting shadows on his flushed cheeks as his lips spread over Even's cock, sliding down slowly over the tip as Even moved his hand away, his other hand still holding on his hair before he released it, simply stroking over his head in encouragement as the boy started moving, his hand gripping Even's cock and stroking what he couldn't reach.

Even kept his eyes focused on Isak's mouth, watching the boy sink lower, increasingly speeding up his pace as he moved his hand lower, cupping Even's balls and stroking them gently before grasping his cock once more, twisting his wrist on the upstroke and bringing Even closer to the edge.

"Fuck, Isak," He groaned out, making Isak look up at him through his lashes as he kept sucking, Even's breath hitching at the sight before him.

"That's it, angel, keep looking at me," He spoke while brushing away the strands of hair that had fallen on Isak's forehead before pushing through his curls, keeping him in place as Isak sped up, sucking harder and harder.

Even bit his lip harshly, his balls drawing up as he spoke, "Fuck, baby, I'm gonna come."

Isak moaned at that, squeezing his fist around him and jerking him off as he suckled on the head, his tongue moving over the slit and pressing against the underside of it before he lowered his head once more, and Even was pushed over the edge.

He tightened his grip on Isak's hair, groaning and his head tilting back as his eyes closed shut, his abdomen clenching and come shooting down Isak's throat as the boy whimpered and moaned around him, still working him over and dragging his orgasm out.

Even loosened his hold on Isak as he started coming down from his high, panting and toes uncurling as he opened his eyes, grimacing slightly from the overstimulation until Isak pulled off of him, giving the tip one last suck before he popped off, moving his hand away and allowing Even's softening cock to fall onto his stomach.

He rubbed a hand over his face and panted as Isak crawled over to him, straddling one of his thighs and planting his hands on his shoulders.

Even's hands came up to the boy's waist, holding onto him gently as he leaned forward, kissing him delicately.

Isak leaned his forehead against Even's, biting his lip and glancing down.

"Was that good?" He mumbled out shyly, refusing to look at Even until the older boy placed a finger beneath his chin, tilting his head up and smiling at him fondly.

"Yeah, fuck, that was amazing."

Isak grinned at him before leaning forward, wrapping his arms around Even's neck and kissing him, which was more so the two boys pressing their smiles against each other than anything else.

Even wrapped an arm around his waist, quickly flipping them over so that Isak lay on his back, Even right next to him as he watched the boy giggle, his head falling back down onto the pillow and his leg wrapping around Even's, pulling him closer.

With a smile, Even reached forward, trailing his thumb against Isak's cheekbone and watching as his chuckles tapered off until he was simply looking up at him with tenderness in his eyes.

Isak glanced down to Even's mouth, his finger coming up and trailing over his smile before he leaned forward capturing Even's lips with his own once more.

Even looked at the boy beneath him, stroking his cheek before he whispered, "Beautiful."

Isak rolled his eyes fondly at that, but a blush spread on his cheeks regardless.

"My beautiful," Even spoke again, kissing Isak's cheek as the boy smiled before he moved to lay on his side, Isak turning towards him slowly, placing a closed fist beneath his cheek.

He stroked Isak's cheek for a moment, caressing the soft smooth skin as Isak sighed contently, his eyes closing shut as he wrapped a hand around Even's wrist loosely, moving his thumb in against his pulse point.

"You okay?" Even asked him when Isak shuffled closer, pushing his head into the crook of Even's neck as Even threw an arm over his waist, running his fingers over Isak's spine.

Isak nodded in confirmation, apparently too tired to even speak, instead choosing to simply lay close to Even and feel his body against his own.

After a few moments spent in silence, simply just feeling each other's skin pressed up together, the closeness of their bodies bringing more peace to Even's mind than he had ever experienced, Even leaned up, kissing Isak's cheek before speaking, "I'm gonna go get something to drink, baby."

Isak simply hummed and burrowed further into the pillow, rolling over and laying on his stomach, bending his knee as Even stood from the bed, reaching for his boxers and sweatpants and pulling them over his legs as he watched Isak, the sight of his ass exposed and so gorgeous making him want to get back to bed.

But he shook his head, running a hand through his hair and stepping out of the room, closing the door behind him and walking towards the kitchen quickly, wanting to get back to his boy as soon as possible.

Yet, as if the universe sensed his desire to be left alone to spend time with Isak, he heard a knock at the door. Frowning in confusion, he walked towards it slowly, wondering who it could be, trying to remember if he had invited anyone over and simply forgotten about it.

As he reached the door, he frowned before looking through the peephole, his eyes widening at the sight as he took a step back, his heartbeat speeding up in fear. 

_Fuck._

Lea stood there, patiently waiting for him to open the door, and he had no idea what to fucking do, he didn't know if he should ignore her or open the door and deal with it head-on. 

He heard his phone buzz from where he left it on the small table next to the door, and he saw that Lea had sent him a text, several texts.

**Lea**

_Hey, I'm in the neighbourhood and I'm gonna drop off that book that you wanted to borrow so that you don't have to come all the way over to mine to get it._

_Eveeeeen, I'll be there in 10_

_Open the door dumbass I know you're home, I heard you walking around_

He clenched his eyes shut, trying to calm his breathing to prepare himself to get rid of her as fast as possible. He glanced towards the door to his room, and he was sure Isak would stay there for the few moments he spent talking to the girl.

Taking a deep breath, he reached for the door, opening it only a sliver and putting on a smile as he looked at Lea.

"Hey," He said with a casual voice as the girl raised his eyebrows at his state, and he realized what he must've looked like; only wearing sweatpants; his chest bare; his lips swollen and red; his hair mussed up and pointing in all directions, he could only hope she wouldn't ask any questions.

Her eyebrows shot in the air at the sight of him, even though she couldn't see his entire body as he stood slightly behind the door. She huffed out a laugh before smirking up at him.

"Well, I guess now I know why you didn't answer the door straight away. What the fuck? Do I know them?"

Even shook his head quickly, swallowing thickly before speaking, "No, nope, you don't."

She opened her mouth to speak, a smile still on her face, but she was interrupted by a voice, the sound of which made Even's eyes widen in horror as he kept looking at Lea.

"Ev, can we order a pizza?" Isak yelled out before Even heard light footsteps heading towards him, Lea's smile dimming at the sound before a stormy expression took over her features. She pushed the door which Even was still holding, making him move to the side, allowing him to see her brother, knowing there was nothing he could do now. He had fucked up.

He looked over to Isak as the door swung to the side, watching as Isak took a step from the hall leading from his bedroom, his body luckily covered with Even's T-shirt, his boxers now pulled on as well. His bare feet stopping in their tracks when he took notice of his sister standing in the doorway, his eyes widening and his lips parting as he looked over to Even, shock filling his features as Even prayed that everything would turn out okay.

"What the actual fuck is going on here?" Lea said through gritted teeth, her gaze flashing towards Even as she crossed her arms against her chest, raising her eyebrows at him.

"I- fuck," He started, rubbing a hand over his face, "I can explain."

She huffed and walked past him into the flat, Even shutting the door behind her and walking after her as she ran a hand through her hair, looking at Isak and shaking her head slightly in disapproval.

"You better explain this shit, and it better be a good fucking excuse," She said when Even came to stand next to Isak, taking a step away from the boy when Lea glared at him at their proximity, Isak frantically looking at both of them, his breath heard clearly in the tense silence.

Even took a deep breath, taking another look at the boy next to him before he made eye contact with Lea, finally telling her what he should have admitted the second it started, "We're kind of together."

A second passed, and then another, and another, and Lea still did not speak. She simply glared at Even before shaking her head, releasing a humourless laugh and pinching the bridge of her nose.

"No, you're not," She said firmly, Even's lips parting at the words.

"Lea, I-," Isak started, but Lea didn't give him the chance to finish, raising her hand in a sign to stop.

"No, Isak, go get your stuff, we're leaving," She spoke harshly as Even's heartbeat sped up even further, his eyes flicking from one sibling to the other, desperately trying to think of a way to make this better.

"And you," She started, turning towards Even, "You promised you wouldn't do anything, and now I come here to find him here half-naked? What the fuck, Even? Were you just going to keep lying to me until you got tired of him just like you do with the rest of them? And even then you'd probably keep your mouth shut."

He vaguely heard a soft gasp coming from Isak as he stared at Lea with wide eyes, shaking his head vehemently and trying to get through to her, "No, Lea it's not like that. I was going to tell you, I just didn't know how." 

She laughed bitterly at that, her eyes flashing with betrayal and anger.

"No, you weren't. You were going to fuck around with him and then get rid of him just like you do with everyone else you get with, that's what you do, Even. You've been doing it for years. You say you like someone, you fuck them and then you tell them to fuck off, you can't be serious with anyone, not since Sonja. Who you still fuck all the time anyways, you always go back to her, and that's probably exactly what you'd do this time as well. You both just fuck with each other's emotions all the time and I will not let you do that to him, he deserves better than that.”

He stared at her with his mouth wide open, his eyes stinging with tears as he turned to Isak, the boy already looking at him, but it was with an expression Even wished to never see on him. His eyes were filled with tears, his hands clenched into tight fists as his bottom lip quivered at what he had heard. Even shook his head, trying to convey that it was not true, Lea was wrong, she didn't know what she was talking about.

"Isak," He heard Lea say once more, the boy's gaze diverting towards her, "Go get your stuff."

He stood there for another second before he lowered his head, turning around and rushing to Even's room as Even looked at him, wishing he could speak to him right then and there, dispel all of the thoughts that must be going through his mind.

But he knew he first had to talk to Lea. He turned his head towards her, the girl rubbing a hand over her flushed cheek before she peered up at Even.

"Lea, I'm sorry, it's not like that at all, I'd never hurt him," He said sincerely, hoping that she would understand, that she would accept his apology. 

"Save it, Even. Just stay away from my brother," She glared at him, her eyes filled with anger and disappointment as his heart sunk at the words.

Just as he opened his mouth to speak, to try to make her understand, he heard Isak shuffling out of the room, his clothes now on, yet he still wore Even's T-shirt, and Even's pain grew even more as he watched Isak lift up a small hand, wiping the tear tracks off of his reddened cheeks before he came up to Lea, the girl placing a hand on his back and looking at Even one more time before she turned and started walking towards the door, Isak walking next to her into the hall, putting his shoes on and grabbing his jacket. 

_Please be okay, please, please, please._

He pleaded in his mind, desperately needing Isak to go back to being happy as he was only a few minutes ago. And as if he had sensed his thoughts, Isak turned his head towards him as Lea opened the door, his eyes wet with tears, sadness seeping through every single one of his features as Even's breath hitched, hoping that everything would be okay, that they would be okay.

And then, they walked through the door, shutting it behind them loudly.

And Even was alone once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I oop-  
> Well, there we go, my girl found out and she had.... thoughts.  
> Now, I want to know what yOUR thoughts are, what did you think? Do you think they'll be able to fix the mess they got themselves into?  
> Anyways, I hope you liked the chapter!! There's only a few left and I have... plans.
> 
> If you have any questions about this or any other of my fics, OR if you have any prompts/headcanons you'd like me to either put in some of my fics OR write a one shot for, OR if you just want to talk about hc's, you can head over to my Tumblr:  isaksforelsket   
> Twitter: vandervaltersen


	9. stubbornness and resignation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first few texts before the line break are from the day that Lea found out, so straight after Isak left.

**Isak  💗**

_Is, fuck I didn’t know she would come I’m so sorry_

_Please just let me know if you’re okay_

_What she said isn’t true, I swear, it’s not like that at all, I care about you._

_Are you okay?_

_I’m fine I guess, idk_

_I’m so sorry for what she said. It’s not true baby_

_Is?_

_Do you still want to be with me?_

_What??_

_Of course I do, baby._

_I’ll sort this out, don’t worry, we’ll be okay_

_Promise?_

_Promise_ **💗**

**💗**

* * *

The cold wind hit his face, the harsh weather making him shiver and pull his hood over his head, burrowing further into the warmth of it and concealing his body. Even rubbed a hand over his face, rushing down the street as he exited the large building of his University and headed down a path leading to the parking lot, desperate to get into the warm confines of his car.

After several minutes of hasty steps and shaking hands shoved into his pockets, he finally reached the car park, unlocking his car with cold fingers clutching the keys and opening the door, throwing himself onto the soft seat and releasing a sigh as he shut the door, turning the heating on and holding his hands up against the vent, feeling his skin come back to life.

He exhaled heavily and leaned back, pulling his hood down and dragging a hand through his hair, trying to make the strands lie flat on his head.

He shut his eyes, only for a moment, his mind once again trailing back to the events that had occurred only two days ago before he opened his eyes quickly, desperately trying not to think of the teary-eyed expression on Isak's face. He felt his phone buzz, a message coming through. With a shake of his head, he released a sigh and shoved a hand into the pocket of his jacket, pulling his phone out and reading the text, a smile involuntarily pulling on his lips.

**Isak 💗**

_Can I see you today please?_

_Of course._

Even took in a deep breath before coming to a decision, knowing he had to do it eventually, and now was as good of a time as any.

_I'll talk to Lea today._

_Just come over to mine later, okay?_

_Okay._

_I miss you_   **💗**

 _I miss you too_ **💗**

He scrolled up to their last interaction, carefully reading over the words they had shared. Even promised to fix it, to make it better, both to Isak and to himself, he needed to make sure that this, whatever it was, wasn't lost and broken for good.

His fingers moved before he could think about it, searching through the contacts until he found the one he was looking for, the one he needed to make things right with. He typed quickly, desperate to get this over with, praying that she would say yes, that she would hear him out.

**Lea**

_Can we talk about this?_

He watched silently as the bubbles appeared and disappeared several times, his anxiety rising with each passing second as he picked on his bottom lip with his thumb and forefinger, clenching his jaw before Lea finally replied.

_We have nothing to talk about, Even._

Even sighed, leaning back against the seat and closing his eyes, his hand resting in his lap before he took a deep breath and typed once more.

_Just let me explain, I don't want to lose you or him._

_Please_

_Fine, meet you at KB in an hour._

He put his phone away quickly, shoving it into his pocket, taking his keys out and turning the car on, the sound of the engine filling up the confines of the vehicle, vibrating through his tense muscles until Even turned the radio on, the song barely registering in his mind as he drove to the cafe, preparing himself for the worst.

* * *

He sat in the corner of the room, separated from all the smiling, cheerful faces--- his subconscious making him want to hide from the rest of the world as he knew there was a high chance that Lea wouldn't be in a good mood, that she wouldn't want to hear what he had to say, and for that, he needed privacy.

The small bell rang throughout the room as the door opened, a gust of cold wind flying through it before it was closed shut, the chatter of the groups of people filling the room once more. Even's eyes snapped towards the sound and his heart practically pounded out of his chest at the sight of Lea and her tired expression; her shoulders slumped over and fingers tight where she clenched her fists by her sides; her nose and cheeks wearing a matching shade of pink, the unforgiving weather outside the comfort of the cafe affecting her as well.

She looked around the room, her eyes squinted slightly as they trailed over every table before she spotted him, her lips pulling up in a thin line as she looked away quickly, walking over to the counter and ordering a drink, waiting and dutifully looking anywhere but at Even. She rubbed a hand over her worn, pale face, her fingertips trailing over the dark circles beneath her green eyes before she pushed a strand of hair that had fallen out of the bun on top of her head behind her ear; her hand finding its way to her mouth, covering her lips when she yawned, her nose scrunching up just a little bit afterwards.

Even drummed his fingers onto the table in front of him, his foot tapping against the floor, nervousness practically emitting out of every pore of his body. He breathed in deeply before he took a sip of his drink, his movements shaky when he lifted the cup, slowly putting it back down onto the table and flattening his palm on the surface in front of him.

As Lea thanked the server, her fingers wrapped around the cup, perspiration coming out of it and swirling in the air while she took step after step, Even's heartbeat sped up, the girl now walking towards him, still refusing to look him in the eye.

When she got to the secluded area Even was in, she grabbed a chair, pulling it out and sitting on it without saying a word to Even, placing her drink on the table and crossing her legs, closing her eyes and inhaling deeply. With a sigh, she finally looked up at him.

"So, what do you have to say for yourself?"

A deep breath finally entered his lungs, oxygen travelling through his body and invigorating him, giving him the strength to look at her, his palms facing downwards onto the table, sweat covering them as he struggled to keep still, but his foot still bounced on the spot, unable to stop.

"I'm sorry," He started slowly, carefully, watching as Lea arched an unimpressed brow, and waited for him to continue, "I should've told you, I know. The second something happened between us, I should've come to you and told you about it, but instead I kept it from you, I kept seeing him and I couldn't stay away, I just couldn't. I know that I said I wouldn't try anything, but I just-I felt like I needed to be with him. I tried to stay away, I really did, but I just wanted to spend time with him, I wanted to know him, and then we kissed and I fell for him. I'm sorry I lied to you, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I swear I was going to, I was just waiting for the right time and then you came over and it all went to shit. I'm just sorry."

He waited for a moment, a few long and dreadful seconds, carefully observing Lea's face, her lip stuck between her teeth as she crossed her arms, before finally sighing and looking away, shaking her head slowly in resignation.

"Thank you for apologizing," She spoke softly, yet a tinge of bitterness remained in her tone, a small sense of resentment for what had been done, "But I still don't want you anywhere near him."

Even's breath hitched in shock, his lips parted, the colour rushing out of his skin and leaving him empty, bare in front of her. His leg finally stopped moving, the words she had spoken forcing every cell in his body to pause and take the moment in, desperately trying to make sense of what she was saying, of what she was asking him to do.

"I-," He started, yet he was unable to speak, but somehow he persevered, "Why not?"

She pinched the bridge of her nose before grabbing the cup in front of her, taking a sip of her drink to prolongate the moment, allow her to gather her thoughts, "I don't think you'd be good for him, or that he'd be good for you. He's... Complicated. Fragile. And I know you, Even. I know you haven't been in an actual relationship since Sonja, and whenever someone gets close to you, no matter how much you say you like them, you still reject them eventually. And I can't let you do that to him, he's already way too attached to you, we talked after we left from your place and I could see it, the way he talked about you and tried to explain what happened, I know he's already in too deep. If this went on, I know that he'd end up broken."

Even's heart clenched painfully in his chest, his gaze averting downwards, trying to focus on something, anything to allow him to calm down. He finally got stuck on a stain on the tabletop, watching the edge of it, the shape, tracing the intricate lines as he tried ignore the ache inside his head for only a moment before looking back up.

"I do like him, I really do," He said honestly, truthfully, hoping and praying that Lea would be able to tell that he meant it.

"That's not enough," Her voice was soft, almost as if she actually felt sorry for what she was saying, yet the words still cut through Even like a knife. 

"I know you don't believe me, Lea," He took in a deep breath, still looking straight into her eyes, eyes which reminded him far too much of Isak, "But it's different with him, I care about him, I would never hurt him. But I also don't want to lose you, so please, just... Don't do this. Let me prove to you that I'm not going to fuck around with him, please."

He watched as Lea tilted her head in thought, but he knew that his words had done nothing to convince her, the pity clearly shown on her expression giving her away.

"I don't think you actually know him, or what he's been through, you know? I mean, it's not even about how our parents fucked him up. Well, our dad mostly, he can't blame our mom for her condition and her episodes and outbursts, even though that was hard on him as well," Lea said quietly, picking on the skin on her thumb as Even's breath hitched at the revelation, the blood rushing out of his face. Fuck. His thoughts were suddenly filled with this new-found knowledge--- Isak already had experience with mental illnesses, and it clearly didn't end well since the boy doesn't live with his parents anymore, and if that's the reason he left his childhood home... Then there was no hope for them after all.

Lea didn't notice Even's inner turmoil though and instead carried on, "The last time he thought a guy was nice and he trusted him, he got fucked over and used, and that wasn't the first time he trusted someone and they betrayed him," A strange, haunted look took over her features as she looked down onto the table, her fingers wrapping around the cup in front of her while she licked her lips and kept talking, "Anyways, Eskild found him crying at a bus station and took him home after that happened because he didn't want to go home, and a few days later he called me and told me he moved out. And he still has issues because of what happened, he doesn't trust anyone really, but he seems to trust you. And I think that if you hurt him, a person who he actually has a bond with and cares for, it would break him completely. I practically raised that boy, and I refuse to watch his heart get broken and for me to have to pick up the pieces, I don't think he'd be able to handle it. He doesn't deserve that."

Even took in a shaky breath, the silence between them allowing the words to rotate around in his mind and become sentient thoughts--- he could practically see it, feel it, the pain the boy has been through. He remembered Isak's anguish as he spoke of the boy that used him, took advantage and then rejected him, leaving Isak with trust issues that stopped him from getting close to Even as much as he wanted to. He tried not to think of the boy with tear tracks on his rosy cheeks, sitting at the bus stop in the cold morning, unable to go home and waiting for someone, anyone to make the pain go away. Yet, Even couldn't help himself. The image was stuck in his mind, and suddenly Isak wasn't crying because of some random guy, he was crying because of Even, because Even got scared, because Even had an episode and Isak couldn't handle it and left, just like he left his mother. And his chest constricted at the thought. No, he couldn't let that happen.

He glanced up at Lea, noticing the girl observing him, waiting for a response. And then, Even nodded, releasing a breath and clutching the mug in front of him, hoping the heat on his fingertips would distract him from the pressure on his chest.

"Okay, I'll stay away."

Lea looked at him for a moment longer before nodding, her tongue darting out and wetting her lips as she looked at him with sympathy shining through her eyes, the colour of which only made the pain within Even grow stronger.

"I'm sorry."

Even attempted a weak smile, knowing it came off as insincere, yet he didn't care, he couldn't pretend.

Lea stood from the chair, the legs of it scraping against the floor as she pushed it back beneath the table and stood in front of him.

"I'll see you around," And with that, she turned around and left. The only company Even now had being the thoughts of the most precious boy in the world, and the decision he was forced to make.

* * *

He stood under the stream of scalding hot water, the droplets running down his back as he washed the suds of shower gel off of himself, the scent of it filling the room and the procedure offering only a temporary distraction from what he knew he had to do.

The thoughts of Isak came back to haunt him, practically residing in his head ever since he came home from his meeting with Lea a few hours ago. The time he had to himself being spent clutching his hair and trying to think of something, anything he could do to salvage the situation. But there was no point. He knew he had no choice if he wanted to save what was left of the friendship between him and Lea, and save the boy from himself and his demons.

No, he was far too innocent, far too pure to be forced to deal with Even.

He leaned against the cold tiles with his palm, his head hanging low as he panted, the water sliding down the strands of his hair and onto his tired face, making him lean back and allow it to wash his features completely, almost as if the problems he was facing would go down the drain with the tears gathering in the corners of his eyes.

He gripped the shower knob tightly, turning it and making the stream of water stop, his breathing now heard loudly in the steamy room, nothing to distract him. He pulled the curtain back while rubbing a hand over his face, stepping out and grabbing a towel, drying himself, rushing the process as he needed to get out, needed to get some air.

He threw the towel into the hamper, immediately pulling his sweatpants over his long legs, his T-shirt following and covering his torso, the garment sticking to the parts of his skin he hadn't bothered drying properly. 

With a sigh, he looked up into the mirror, noticing the dark circles beneath his eyes and the flush of his skin, the colour of which reminded him far too much of Isak, the boy's cheeks seemingly permanently coloured pink. He shook his head, exiting the room quickly, feeling the coolness of the apartment hit his body, allowing him to finally breathe out. He trotted into the living room with languid steps, throwing himself onto the soft couch and laying onto his back, placing a loose arm over his eyes and sighing, desperately trying to stop his heart from beating out of his chest.

Removing his arm, he looked over to the side, onto the small table next to him, his phone right on it, simply waiting for him to pick it up and call Isak, tell him about his decision, how he had no choice.

He groaned loudly in discontent before sitting up, his bare feet planted onto the cold floor as he grabbed his phone, turning it over in his hands, about to unlock it and call Isak when he heard a knock on the door.

With a frown, he placed the phone back onto the table before standing up slowly, somehow grateful that the inevitable phone call was delayed. He padded over to the door, leaning against it with his palm and looking through the peephole, his breath hitching when he saw who was there, suddenly remembering the arrangement he had made earlier that day.

Isak was bouncing on the balls of his feet, his curls swaying with every nervous move he made, his nose and cheeks red from the cold, the colour looking as lovely as ever on the boy, his hair curling on the edges as he nervously shuffled around, waiting for Even to open the door and let him in.

Even's shaky hand curled around the knob, slowly taking in a breath, allowing the air to expand his chest as he turned the doorknob and finally opened the door. Isak glanced up at him anxiously straight away, his mouth opening and closing several times before he seemingly gave up on trying to get his words out and simply stepped closer until his head slammed into Even's chest, his arms wrapping around his waist tightly as he released a shaky breath into the crook of Even's neck, the warmth of it invigorating Even. Even's arms wrapped around him just as strongly, with just as much desperation. His cheek pressed up against the soft mop of curls on the boy's head as he smoothed his palm between his shoulder blades, moving it in slow circles before wrapping his arm around him fully, pulling him in impossibly closer, desperately needing to feel the warmth of Isak's body on his, needing to memorize every second of this before he ultimately had to let go. The all too familiar scent of vanilla filled his senses as he breathed in deeply, wanting to savour it, bathe in it, remember it for the rest of his life. His eyes clenched shut tightly when he felt Isak nuzzle in closer to him, his lips pressing against the skin of Even's neck, making a shiver rise up on his spine, his body shaking from the softness of the boy wrapped around him.

_This boy, this precious boy._

He placed a kiss in Isak's curls, his lips hesitating for a few seconds longer as his hand pressed against the back of his head keeping him in place before he reluctantly moved away, Isak's arms clutching around him only for a moment before relaxing, going limp, allowing Even to place both hands on his warm cheeks and look at him properly, his thumbs caressing the skin. As he watched every line of Isak's face, the most beautiful boy he had ever seen, he felt the dread fill his veins and bones once more. An ice-cold sensation enveloping his entire body. He met his eyes, seeing the tired expression the boy wore, the green irises sparkling with emotion, with nervousness and a slight tinge of fear, yet he still seemed content in Even's presence.

Shutting his eyes, unable to look at the creature in front of him without breaking down--- he moved forward, small hands gripping his shoulders, fingertips digging into his flesh before they moved up into his hair as their lips finally connected into a gentle kiss, Isak's upper lip between Even's, the softness of it all making Isak release an airy, barely-there whimper. As they separated, Even leaned his forehead against the boy's, licking his lips as he tried to feel the phantom of Isak's lips against his own, needing to remember it while nuzzling his nose against Isak's in a comforting, soothing manner.

"Did you talk to Lea?" Isak whispered anxiously, his voice quiet yet seeping with desperation for comfort, making Even's breath hitch as he swallowed thickly and looked at Isak, nodding in confirmation.

"We should talk," He tried to make his voice gentle, not to make Isak panic, but he could feel the boy tense up beneath his hands, his eyes twinkling with knowledge of what was going to happen.

But still, he nodded slowly, and allowed Even to move to the side as he walked to the living room while Even shut the door. Taking a deep breath before following the boy, he watched as he stood in the room, wringing his hands nervously in front of him and looking around the room, and Even couldn't help but notice he didn't take his shoes off. He knew he wouldn't be here for long.

He refused to meet Even's gaze as Even placed a hand on his arm, gesturing with the other one for him to sit down on the couch as Even sat next to him. Isak eyed the distance between them, noticing that Even didn't sit right next to him.

"What did Lea say?" Isak said with a croaky voice, his knuckles white as he clutched the edge of his jacket in a desperate attempt to keep them from shaking, yet he couldn’t keep still for long, constantly moving them, rubbing his palms over his thighs before clasping them together.

Even ran a hand through his still wet hair, desperately wanting to make contact with Isak, wanting to touch him, and feel his warm skin against his own but he knew that would only make it harder to say goodbye.

"She doesn't want me to see you anymore. And," Even paused, closing his eyes for a second and taking in a deep breath before opening them, Isak now looking at him, biting his lip in anticipation, "I think that we should do as she says."

Isak's lips parted, his hands not moving anymore and his eyes wide, and Even could see the cogs turning inside his head, overthinking this, probably trying to turn the whole situation onto himself, blame himself for Even’s decision.

“I don’t get why you’re doing this,” Isak spoke with a frown, trying to sound confident and strong yet his voice wavered, “It shouldn’t matter what she thinks, it should be about you and me.”

"It's not that simple. I don't want to be the reason you and your sister argue Isak, and I don't want to hurt you, fuck, that's the last thing I want.”

"Then why are you doing this?" Isak said finally, his eyes brimming with tears and his bottom lip trembling.

_Fuck, please don't cry._

"I'll only end up hurting you, I'm not good for you. You're too good, too pure, I'd only ruin that, and you’re so young, I don’t want you to be with me and realize you’ve made a mistake when something bad happens."

He expected Isak to agree, to nod and say that he understands, that he thinks they’re doing the right thing, what he didn't expect was for the boy to roll his eyes, scoffing and looking at him with what appeared to be anger and pure and utter frustration.

"You don't know that. You have no idea what the fuck will happen, and I don't get why you're making these assumptions about me, why you're making the decision for me. If I get hurt, that's on me, cause I decided to trust you and be with you, but you're just taking that choice away from me. You're being stupid, Even."

Even gaped at him, at a loss for words. He needed Isak to understand, to know why he was doing this, to realize that all he wanted to do was make him happy. He shut his eyes and dropped his head down, trying to calm his breathing and think of a way to explain.

He felt small hands on his cheeks, thumbs digging into his cheekbones and bringing him back to the present. He shut his eyes as Isak came closer, the couch creaking when he moved and leaned his forehead against Even’s, his breath fanning over Even's lips and seemingly making his breathing easier.

“I need you, I want you, no one else.”

Even finally opened his eyes, meeting the green staring back at him, seeing the sincerity of Isak’s words. He gripped Isak's wrists loosely, his thumbs running over the smooth skin, over his veins, feeling his pulse beneath his fingertips, so alive. So beautiful.

Yet, he couldn’t get rid of the gnawing fear beneath his skin. He simply couldn’t.

"I only want to protect you, Isak. And Lea, she will never approve, and I don't want to be the cause of problems between you two, I don't. I know you don’t have anyone but her, I just need you to be happy, the happiest you could possibly be, and I don’t think you’d be able to do that with someone like me."

Isak stared at him for a moment before he seemed to come to some sort of conclusion, and Even watched, horrified, as the boy moved his hands away from Even and a tear slid down his pink cheek, the previous confidence the boy had evaporating into thin air. His hand twitched where it lay on his lap, desperately wanting to reach over, wipe the tear off, make the pain disappear from Isak's features. But he remained in his place, just about to say something, anything when Isak interrupted him.

"Why don't you just say that Lea was right? Instead of making all these e-excuses. Just say that y-you don’t want me anymore," Isak stuttered out, choking on a sob as he took in a deep breath, clearly trying to calm himself as tears continued sliding down his precious face, each droplet breaking Even more and more.

Even frowned at him, subconsciously scooching closer but stopping when Isak moved away, wiping the wetness away with the back of his hands as he looked at anything but Even.

"I'm not, I swear. Fuck, Isak, I just don't want to hurt you, that's it. This isn't your fault."

Isak shook his head, letting out a humourless laugh and drying his cheeks one more time before he looked at Even with red-rimmed eyes, his lip quivering before he seemed to get the strength from somewhere within his body and spoke.

"You could've just told me what you wanted from me, you know," Even frowned at the words, but Isak didn't give him any time to contemplate what they meant as he carried on, "You could've just told me you wanted a quick fuck from me, instead of dragging this out, treating me like I’m actually special and making me fall for you like a fucking idiot and then doing this shit after you promised it would be okay."

Even shook his head, reaching forward to grab Isak's hand, but the boy moved away from him, looking down and taking in a shaky breath and biting his lip to stop a sob from coming through. Even’s eyes stung as he watched the boy struggle to keep together right in front of him.

"Isak, it's not like that, I promise, it's not. I do like you, I’ve never felt like this about anyone before. You're fucking incredible, you're everything I've ever wanted, fuck."

Isak looked at him one more time, his features still as beautiful as ever but now laced with hurt. Hurt caused by Even, the fact making his heart and soul shatter into pieces.

"I don't believe you."

He stood from the couch on shaky legs, Even's breathing coming out ragged as he watched him walk to the door before he stood up himself, walking after him, about to grab his arm and turn him around, at least convince him that it isn’t about him, how could it be? But then Isak opened the door, his body halfway out before he turned towards him, a tear falling from the corner of his eye as they locked gazes.

"Goodbye, Even."

He shut the door behind him, Even leaning his forehead against the wood and closing his eyes shut tightly, desperately trying not to let the tears out.

No, he didn't deserve the relief of crying and releasing the pain from within him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, hello angst.  
> Even is an idiot, I know, and Isak is a baby that deserves a hug I know that as well. Shush.  
> SO, what did you think? Of the chapter, Even, Isak, whatever, I don't mind, I just like hearing your thoughts!
> 
> If you have any questions about this or any other of my fics, OR if you have any prompts/headcanons you'd like me to either put in some of my fics OR write a one shot for, or if you just want to talk about some hc's, you can head over to my Tumblr:  isaksforelsket   
> Twitter: vandervaltersen


	10. realizations and coincidences

Even looked at the shelves stacked with produce, knowing that there was nothing on it that he required yet he still carried on looking, regretting not writing out a list as he struggled to recall what exactly he needed that he didn't already have at home.

He sighed heavily, frustrated with himself and just wanting to go home and get into the warmth of his comfortable bed once more, where he had spent the past week, pitying himself and bathing in regret, only being interrupted yesterday when Sonja came over and distracted him for a while, luckily not asking why it was that he was upset as she probably knew Even wouldn't answer her question.

Turning on his heel, he was just about to say ‘fuck it’ and go home, simply resorting to ordering something instead of cooking as he had planned to. But suddenly, he collided with a tall figure, making him stumble back a step and lift his head up, wanting to apologize and leave quickly but the words were unable to leave his mouth when he realized who stood in front of him.

“Hi, Eskild,” He said breathlessly, swallowing when Eskild looked at him with what appeared to be frustration, whether it was at the collision or the mere fact that it was Even standing in front of him, he didn't know, and he didn't want to find out, so he carried on, hoping it would allow him to leave the store without the awkward chit-chat, “Sorry, I-I wasn’t looking.”

He watched as Eskild’s lips pulled up in a thin line, a stiffness to his posture and to his movements as he nodded and looked down to the ground for only a split second before glancing back up at Even, a faux looking smile plastered onto his features.

“It’s fine.”

Even looked at the man before him, thinking of what to say, the other not backing down from his gaze as Even shuffled on his feet in the incredibly uncomfortable silence, which seemed to last for hours when in reality it was merely a few seconds.

“How are you?” Even asked with a nervous voice, asking the question to stop himself from blurting out something about Isak, as well as to break the increasing tension between them.

Eskild cocked his brow up before shaking his head and looking off to the side in disbelief, “Do you remember what I said to you the last time we saw each other?”

Even sighed at the memory of their talk in front of the apartment building, his heart clenching when he remembered that was the day he spent with Isak, laughing and kissing the boy whenever he got the chance, simply marvelling at how incredible he was. But that didn't mean that he didn't also recall the promise Eskild had made to him right before he got into his car and drove away.

“Yup,” He took a deep breath, rocking on the balls of his feet and trying to get rid of the anxious energy inside of him, “You said you’ll break my legs if I hurt him.”

Eskild nodded, humming in confirmation and rolling his lips into his mouth before popping them out, grabbing the basket he was holding with both hands and holding it in front of him.

“Yeah, so tell me why the fuck Isak has been moping around the flat for a week? And why the only thing he’s telling me is that it’s his fault that you dumped him?”

Even’s lips parted yet no sound escaped from him. His heart constricted at the reminder of how upset Isak was because of what had happened between them, how it ended. He knew that Isak would be hurt, but somehow he had hoped it would pass straight away, that Isak wouldn't feel the pain Even was feeling, he prayed that Isak would go home and realize Even isn't worth crying over. But it seems like his prayers were in vain.

_ Fuck. _

He took in a deep breath, the pressure on his chest subsiding only a fraction while he tried his hardest not to think of Isak crying because of him, he tried not to think of Isak's face when Even told him he wanted to break up, he tried to push it out of his mind. Yet he simply couldn't, the guilt and hurt within him burning harder than before.

He tried to keep himself from saying something that would only make Eskild madder, from saying something he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t help but let the words slip out from between his lips, “Is he okay?”

Eskild sighed at the question, exasperation filling his features as he pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration before taking a deep breath and looking back at Even.

“Even, you broke up with him, I’m not going to talk about him with you.”

Even nodded at that, understanding that he had no right, no right to ask or to know anything about Isak anymore, not after he fucked everything up so exponentially.

“I didn’t mean to hurt him, you know?” He said suddenly, not even knowing why exactly he was trying to explain himself, after all, it didn’t matter anymore, but he still carried on, perhaps hoping that Eskild would convince Isak that it wasn't because of him, that he would tell him it wasn't his fault, “Lea walked in on us and it all got so fucked up and she didn’t want us to be together, I couldn’t be the reason that they were fighting. And she said something about Isak's mom and I-,” He stopped himself from rambling further, from telling Eskild more than he should've, instead closing his mouth shut and looking at Eskild.

He watched as Eskild’s face changed at his words, into an expression of understanding.

“Oh,” He said simply, blinking at Even before he frowned and let out a frustrated huff, hitting Even's shoulder with his hand, making Even wince and move back in confusion, his hand gripping where he had been hit.

“What the fuck, man?”

He scowled at Eskild, watching as the other man shook his head before tilting it to the side, observing Even and letting out a scoff.

“You’re an idiot. You broke it off cause of Lea?”

He tried not to think of the other reason, the inevitable fuck up that he would cause if he had an episode and Isak realized he didn't want him anymore, and he nodded.

“Listen, Lea is incredible and I love her to death, but when it comes to Isak she is a moron. She’s pretty much been his mother figure his entire life, she’s made sure that he goes to school, that he’s eating well and all that shit, and she is the one that spent hours doing research on how to get rid of insomnia because he was getting barely any sleep. She’s a smart girl, but with Isak she loses all sense of logic just because she’d do anything to protect him. She won’t listen to you or him because she’s convinced that you’re not good enough for him, yeah?”

Eskild stopped, raising his eyebrows in question, and all Even could do was nod dumbly and listen to Eskild hum as he nodded his head when Even confirmed his theory.

“Thought so. So just show her that you are good for each other. Instead of dumping him and making him sad--- which is what she thought you’d do--- make him happy, like he was that night when you dropped him off. I need his stupid little cute face to smile again, so fix it instead of being a dumbass.”

Even sighed, clenching his jaw as he looked down onto the floor and pursed his lips, knowing that Eskild was wrong, he couldn’t possibly fix this, even if he wanted to, he knew that he had hurt Isak far too much for him to forgive him.

“I don’t think there’s anything I can do about it, Isak hates me now anyways.”

Eskild snorted at that, rolling his eyes as placed a hand on his hip, “You're stupid if you think that Isak could ever hate you. Just call him and talk it out, apologize, get him some flowers or some shit, I don't know, he's grumpy but he seems like the type to like that sort of stuff. And Lea will come to her senses eventually, she was probably just shocked and she overreacted. Make Isak happy and she'll get over it.”

“Right,” Even nodded, not knowing what to say to him, not knowing how to respond to the encouragement. But the man saved him from thinking too much when he sighed and smiled at him.

“I have to go, but think about it. Don’t be an idiot.”

Even couldn’t help but smile at the words, “Thanks Eskild.”

Eskild sighed before walking away, strolling further into the store until he turned and disappeared from Even's sight, leaving him alone with his increasingly more conflicting thoughts.

* * *

 

**Sonja Austad**

_ Hey Even, did I leave my phone at your place? I can’t find it anywhere _

Even frowned as he read the message he had received on Facebook, sighing before he threw his legs over the edge of his couch where he had been laying for a while and standing up on shaky legs. He reached in between the cushions where he knew Sonja sat the previous day, chatting about whatever came to her mind in hopes of getting Even out of his sour mood. And finally, after feeling around blindly for several moments, he gripped a phone, pulling it out and realizing it was Sonja’s.

He quickly typed out a reply and sent it while toying with her phone, moving it around in his hand and waiting for a response.

_ Yup, I have it _

_ Ugh fuck, can I come get it tomorrow afternoon? I can’t come today _

_ Yeah sure _

Even locked his phone, sighing as he placed Sonja's onto the table and threw himself back onto the couch he had previously occupied. Staring up at the ceiling, he put his phone onto his chest, drumming his fingers on the back of it and pursing his lips in thought, Eskild's words still spinning around in his mind, constantly trying to convince him to call Isak, to tell him he misses him, that he misses his lovely smile and his soft lips, that he would do anything to see those beautiful green eyes staring up at him as he runs a hand through his golden curls. Because he did, he missed every inch of the boy and it pained him whenever he thought of him, whenever he was reminded of what he had for a terribly short amount of time.

He jumped when he felt his phone buzz, making him frown before he picked it up, sighing when he read the name and answered the call.

“Hey, Mik.”

“Okay, that’s so not the energy that I expect when you talk to me,” Mikael said as Even snorted, but even that sound was halfhearted as he couldn’t find it in himself to laugh freely.

“What’s up? Are you good?” He could hear the concern in Mikael's voice, the unasked question not going unnoticed by Even as he knew that Mikael worries about him, worries that he might’ve slipped up. And as much as this concern would annoy him in the past, now he couldn’t find it anything but sweet, knowing that it came from a good place. 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” He said simply, not wanting to speak about what was really going through his mind.

Mikael hummed softly, knowing not to push Even and to let him say things in his own time, and Even couldn’t help but smile at the consideration of his friend.

“So,” Mikael started after a beat of silence when they realized that Even wouldn't say anything, “How’s it going with you and Isak?”

Even felt a stab of pain travel through his chest, the mere sound of the boy's name making his breath hitch and his heart race. And then he realized he had no choice but to actually tell Mikael what happened.

“Yeah, about that,” He rubbed a hand over his face, taking a deep breath before continuing, “It didn’t work out.”

“Wait, what? Seriously?”

He sighed at the shock in Mikael's voice, closing his eyes before he spoke again.

“Yeah, Lea found out and it didn’t go so well,” He bit his bottom lip as he told the sentence for the second time that day, wishing he never had to repeat it again.

“Oh, I’m sorry, man,” Mikael said sympathetically, and Even knew they meant it.

“It’s fine, I’ll get over it,” He tried to sound confident, at the same time trying to convince himself and Mikael that the words he spoke were true, that he would eventually stop thinking of Isak, even though he knew it would be a long time until that happened.

“So, do you want me to talk shit about him for dumping you or what?”

Even groaned at the words before speaking, regret laced in his words, “I was the one that broke it off.”

A beat of silence and Even bit his lip, throwing his arm over his eyes when he heard Mikael sigh.

“Okay, why? What the fuck? You went on and on about how lovely he is and you broke up with him? It can't be just the Lea thing, so what did he do?”

Even clenched his eyes shut, reminded once more that Isak didn’t do anything wrong, that he was the most precious person that he had ever met, yet he fucked him over.

“Nothing. He didn’t do anything, I just couldn’t stay with him. I didn’t want Lea and him to fight because of me and I knew I’d hurt him eventually. His mom has some issues as well I think, some sort of mental illness and he left home because of it. Lea said her outbursts used to scare him and fuck, I don't want to do that to him.”

“That is so stupid,” Mikael said candidly, making Even remove his arm off of his face, placing it on his chest as he frowned up at the ceiling, about to say something when Mikael interrupted him, “You overthink shit too much, I've told you this before. Lea would have to deal with it cause she doesn’t own you or him, she can’t control who he dates just cause he’s her brother, and dude we already talked about this, I'm just repeating myself. You don’t know if you’d hurt him or if he’d hurt you, but you’re definitely hurting both of you by not giving this a shot.”

Even allowed the words to sink in, somehow giving him a small bit of hope that he could fix it, that there’s still a chance for them to be together, but he still had a gnawing thought in the back of his mind that simply refused to leave him alone.

“What if I have an episode? He’s so young, he wouldn’t know how to deal with that, what to do or who to call, I can’t make him feel responsible for me,” He finally voiced his fear out loud, the feeling that had been overwhelming him for far too long.

“You wouldn’t be his responsibility, you’d be his boyfriend. And he’s not stupid, you could just talk to him about it, let him know what it entails and all that. You’re just assuming shit about him, how do you know he wouldn’t know what to do? At least give him the chance to make the choice for himself instead of just thinking he's some sort of helpless child. You're upset at Lea for assuming the worst will happen while you're doing the exact same thing.”

Even groaned at the words, turning to lie on his side and face the couch, trailing his fingers over the cushions and biting his lip in thought.

“I don’t know, I’m just worried. He’s so sweet,” Even spoke with a fond voice.

“Yes, yes, I know, he’s an angel. Just talk to him, and then both of you can talk to Lea and tell her to stop being irrational.”

Even snorted at that, sighing and feeling his lips quirk up slightly.

“Thanks, Mik.”

“No problem. I- Fuck, I have to go,” Mikael said suddenly as Even heard shuffling in the background.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll talk to you later.”

He heard the beep as Mikael hung up the phone. He locked it before pushing it into the pocket of his sweatpants, closing his eyes and allowing himself to be taken over by his thoughts once more. Twice in the same day he had been reprimanded for breaking up with the boy he liked so much, and twice he has been told to fix the situation, to not care what Lea thinks or what could happen and to go for it. He remembered Isak's face when he told him he couldn't be with him, the tears soaking his cheeks and dropping onto his lap as he blamed himself for what was happening, which he had apparently been doing the entire week they had been separated, and Even couldn't help but wish for what he had been wishing for ever since Isak left--- that he had told him why he did what he did. He wished he had told him that he couldn't get rid of the fear that he would have an episode and Isak would leave him anyways. But perhaps that's why he didn't tell him, because he couldn't bear to hear Isak saying he didn't want to deal with that, that it was too much for him to handle, that he left his home because of someone with a mental illness, and he didn't want to be around that again.

But now he only wanted to tell Isak the truth, to explain it to him and give him the chance to make the decision for himself, just like he had been told he should do. All he wanted was to be with him, regardless of what Lea thought, regardless of the many possibilities of it ending poorly. 

With that thought in mind, he took a deep breath, his eyes opening slowly before he sat up, crossing his legs beneath him and taking his phone out, moving it from hand to hand and feeling his heart start to race as he finally forced himself to unlock it, opening the last conversation he had with Isak. He bit his lip when he saw their last interaction, the heart Isak had sent now only serving as a reminder that Even had broken his. He took in a shaky breath, his thumb hovering over the keyboard as he began to type.

**Isak❤️**

_ Hey, Isak. I miss you _

(deleted)

_ Isak, how are you doing? _

(deleted)

_ Baby, can we talk? _

(deleted)

_ Hey, Isak. Can we meet up and talk? _

He bit his lower lip to stop it from trembling as he noticed the 'read' appear beneath his message. He stared at his phone for several minutes, unable to stop while he waited for a reply, but it simply did not come.

_ Please. I know you must think I'm an asshole, and I deserve it. I'm sorry, I just want to talk to you, explain everything. If you don't want to hear from me or see me after that then I'll leave you alone, I promise. I just want to talk. _

His heart skipped a beat when he saw Isak typing, the bubbles appearing and disappearing several times before a message finally came through.

_ Fine. Tomorrow, your place, 3 pm. _

Even let out a sigh of relief, a smile appearing on his face before he typed with shaky hands.

_ Thank you, Isak. I can't wait to see you. _

He locked his phone, knowing that he would get no response. 

Closing his eyes, his mind already started thinking of what to say to the boy when he saw him the next day.

* * *

Even practically ran towards the door when he heard a knock on it, praying that Isak wasn't early as he still hadn't showered, his socks gliding on the hardwood floor when he reached it and turned the doorknob, opening it, his face falling when he saw Sonja standing there.

He quickly fixed his expression, smiling at her softly and what he hoped would be sincerity instead of well-hidden impatience, "Hey."

He moved to the side as she chirped a cheery 'hello', walking into the flat and over into the living room as Even shut the door behind her.

"Are you okay? You look really tired," She looked at him over her shoulder, her eyebrows furrowed together as she examined him while he bounced on the balls of his feet, constantly moving some part of his body, nervous energy emitting from him.

"Yup," He replied, popping the p at the end and walking over to her, "I just didn't sleep well last night. I'm fine."

She frowned at him, a worried expression on her face but Even didn't bother asking her what was wrong, he just wanted her out of the apartment before Isak came.

"Fuck," He heard her say when she grabbed her phone, making him furrow his brows as he looked over at her, "The battery is flat, can I charge it for like five minutes? I need to call someone."

Even released a sigh before answering, "Sure, but I need to go shower, I have someone coming over. So just let yourself out when you finish, yeah?"

She smirked at him while walking over to where his charger was still plugged into the wall, but the concern was still etched onto her face, "Oh? A booty call?"

He groaned as he felt a blush cover his face, his cheeks heating up at the suggestion, "Shut up, just hurry up."

Rushing to the bathroom, he tried not to overthink the situation, desperately wanting to hurry up and get out, hoping that he could salvage what he had with Isak, praying that Isak didn't hate him completely.

He shed the clothes off of his body, haphazardly throwing them into the hamper and getting into the shower, turning the water on and letting it run down his body before he washed his hair, his fingers running through it as he rubbed his scalp hastily before grabbing the shower gel, quickly rubbing some of the liquid onto his body and watching as it turned into suds, the smell of it filling the small room.

As he washed his body, rubbing over his tense muscles, trying to get rid of the anxiety within him, he couldn't help but think of what he was going to say, how he was going to get Isak to forgive him. He knew that he would have to tell him the truth, that he was scared of what could happen, that he thought Isak leaving his mother would mean that he'd leave him as well, he only wished words would be able to leave his mouth when the boy stood before him.

He heard his phone buzz where it was placed on the counter outside the shower, making him rush to get out and get dressed, thinking it was a text from Isak.

The water ran down his body one last time before he turned the knob, the stream stopping before he stepped out the shower, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around his waist. With long steps towards the counter, he grabbed his phone, unlocking it and reading the notification with a frown appearing on his face.

**Sonja**

_ I had to go to work but call me if you need anything, anything at all. Try to get some sleep for a bit. _

He tried to think of what to say to her, how he should ask what the fuck was going on, but he couldn't, he didn't want to, so he simply placed his phone back on the counter and took the towel from around his waist, drying his body and ruffling his hair with it before finally getting dressed. Just as his arm stretched out to grab his phone, it buzzed. The sound spreading through the small room as he held it in his hand and read the caller ID before he finally answered the call, his brows furrowed as he spoke.

"Hey, mom, what's up?" He said while opening the door, leaving the bathroom and heading towards the living area.

"Hey, sweetheart," His mom's voice held a certain sort of edge to it, a nervousness oozing out of her, "Are you okay?"

He threw himself onto the couch, raising his foot and placing it on the cushions, his fingers wrapping around his ankle and stroking the skin there.

"Yeah," He spoke slowly, trepidly, "I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

A beat of silence had passed before his mother took in a sigh.

"Have you been taking your meds?"

"Yes, I have," His frown deepened with every word he said, not understanding why she was so concerned all of the sudden.

"And have you been sleeping okay?"

"Y-yes, I've been sleeping fine," He shook his head in confusion, a grimace appearing on his face before he continued, "What's this about?"

She kept quiet for a moment before he heard her take in a deep breath, "It's nothing. Don't worry about it. Just call me if you need me, okay?"

Even opened his mouth before shutting it closed, the confusion he felt leaving him incapable of saying anything but a feeble 'okay.'

"I'll talk to you later, bye sweetheart."

He hung up, shaking his head before leaning back against the couch, rubbing a hand over his face.

_ What the fuck just happened? _

He hadn't seen his mother in quite some time, being busy with both Isak and university, so he couldn't understand why she'd ask him those questions, why she'd behave as if he was having an episode when he didn't give her a reason to believe he was.

With a sigh he ran a hand through his still wet hair, trying to tame the strands as he remembered that Isak was going to be here any minute. He was finally going to see his sweet boy and talk to him properly, no excuses, he only wanted to tell him the truth, and hopefully, by the end of it, Isak would be in his embrace once more.

A hopeful smile pulled up on his lips despite his nerves being on edge, his heart continuously racing as his palms started to sweat while he waited. 

He felt his phone buzz where he was still holding it loosely in his large hand, his heartbeat speeding up even more as the hope of it being from Isak rose in his chest.

And, just as he looked at it, his face fell, his breath hitching and his chest constricting. 

It was from Isak, but it was far from what he had expected.

**Isak ❤️**

_ I don't think that we should see each other again. Please don't text me anymore.  _

His eyes shut closed, his hand lowering onto his thigh as he released a breath, all hope he had felt exiting from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Welp, we have 2 chapters left and shit... Just keeps on happening. And I am struggling to keep them apart, I want them to kiss dammit!!!  
> Sooo, let me know what you thought about the chapter, I'm always curious to hear your guys' opinions! 
> 
> If you have any questions about this or any other of my fics, OR if you have any prompts/headcanons you'd like me to either put in some of my fics OR write a one shot for, or if you just want to talk about some hc's, you can head over to my Tumblr:  isaksforelsket   
> Twitter: vandervaltersen


	11. redemption and hope

Smoke flew out from between Even’s lips as he moved the cigarette away with his cold fingers, his eyes stuck on the window he was leaning his head against, the sound of rain splattering against the glass heard even more vividly as he opened the window only a tiny sliver to let the smoke out.

He closed his eyes shut, allowing the sound to be the only thing he focused on, the only thing that he thought about, yet he couldn’t get rid of the constant reminder of what had happened only three days ago, even though it seemed like it had been years. He tried to distract himself, he went to uni, talked to Mikael, smiled in a way he hoped would be convincing before he went home, throwing himself onto his bed and allowing the memories of Isak to take him over until he felt like he was suffocating in his own mind and he had to get up, do something, anything at all, trying to stop himself from drowning.

Which is how he found himself sitting on the windowsill of his small room, one of his legs swinging down while the other was bent, the hood he had pulled over his head falling into his tired eyes before he pushed it back up. It only took him several seconds of restless sitting to pull out his nearly empty packet of cigarettes from his hoodie, lighting a cigarette so as to avoid reaching for the weed that was hidden in the drawer of his desk, but his fingers still twitched in desire. Desperately wanting to forget, to spend at least several moments in bliss. 

He was lucky enough to have been busy at University the first half of the gloomy day, but now, as his eyes opened slowly and he stared back out onto the empty street, he simply had nothing to do. Nothing to distract him, nothing to stop his mind from running back to the one person he didn't want to think about, nothing to help him, no matter how much he needed to forget. 

So, he sat in silence, an occasional honk of a car, or sound of people talking as they walked past interrupting his hazy thoughts, but still, he daren't move. He took in a deep breath when he placed the cigarette between his chapped lips, feeling his chest expand to accommodate the haze filling it. Perhaps he hoped the smoke would suffocate the pain within his chest, perhaps he prayed it would envelop his heart and mend it. Yet, he knew there was no cure for this. He knew that it was all fucked and there was nothing he could do about it, no matter how much he wanted to. No matter how much he wished to regain control.

His eyes moved toward the other end of the windowsill as he blew the smoke out, the memories of the boy he craved so desperately sitting at that very spot visible in Even’s muffled mind. Yet, all that was there was his phone. He hesitated for a moment, removing the cigarette from his lips and holding it between his two fingers before leaning forward, his fingers wrapping around the phone and unlocking it. He bit his lip before taking in another puff of the smoke, making him focus on the strong taste of tobacco on his tongue instead of the conversation he was about to open. But he couldn’t wait forever, he wanted to see them, he wanted to pretend as if he still had the option of sending him a text, so he thumbed over the screen and opened the chat he had with Isak. His eyes closed shut quickly, his breath catching in his throat as his grip tightened around the phone, the last message Isak had sent still visible behind his eyelids.

He opened his eyes slowly, pressing on the keyboard and typing before he could stop himself, his thoughts rushing and spilling out onto the small screen before him, yet he kept his eyes away from the last words Isak said to him.

**Isak❤️**

_ I know I fucked up. I know I’m the one that broke it off, but I don’t get it, I don't get why you changed your mind so quickly. I had hoped you wanted to talk, you wanted to get some closure on this, or even perhaps start over, but it seems like I was wrong. I only wish I got the chance to explain myself, I only wish I got to tell you how much you mean to me, I wi _

He stopped typing abruptly, his hand shaking as he lifted it up, praying the smoke would calm him. The message was still clear before him but it remained unsent. He was suddenly overcome with the realization of how he was behaving, and a bitter scoff escaped from his mouth as he deleted it all. Pathetic.

Isak didn’t want to see him, he didn’t want to talk to him, and he didn’t want to hear the explanations Even so desperately wanted to tell him. And Even needed to respect that, he needed to stay away. No matter how much it made his eyes burn, no matter how much his palms tingled whenever he was overcome with the need to feel Isak’s much smaller hand in his own, no matter how much he wanted to tell him how much he meant to him. He couldn’t do this to him. 

As he extinguished the cigarette in the small ashtray placed on his thigh, he locked his phone, pushing it into the pocket of his sweatpants and staring out the window once more, ignoring the stabbing pain in his chest.

* * *

Even threw his backpack onto the passenger seat carelessly as he sat into the seat of his car, the door being slammed shut behind him and allowing the wind to stop blowing into his face. He rubbed his hands together, trying to warm them up before reaching into the pocket of his jacket, fishing the keys out, about to turn the engine on when he was interrupted by his phone buzzing, the vibrations of it felt throughout his thigh. He released a sigh, closing his eyes shut in annoyance for a moment and pulling it out, looking at the screen and reading the text.

His lips parted in shock, eyebrows shooting up on his forehead when he saw who it was, the last person he expected to hear from for a while, if ever again.

**Lea**

_ Hey, Even. Wanna meet up for coffee? My treat. _

He read the message again and again, the frown between his eyebrows only deepening further as he started to wonder if she was fucking with him, if this was just a set up for them to meet up so that she could gloat over how much better off Isak is now that he isn’t with Even anymore, how much happier he is. A selfish thought entered his mind, hoping that that wasn't the case, that Isak wasn't happier without him. But he dispelled it quickly, grimacing at himself and pinching the bridge of his nose in thought. He considered saying no, telling her that he was busy, that he couldn't make it when in reality he was just going to go home and crawl under the warm blankets, wallowing in self-pity while his heart broke even more because the sheets didn’t smell like Isak anymore.

And yet, he couldn’t say no. Not to her.

So he quickly typed out a response, his thumbs flying over the keyboard as he bit his lip in contemplation when he finished. He hesitated only for a moment before sending it and closing his eyes, leaning his head back against the car seat and waiting.

_ Yeah, sure. When and where? _

It wasn’t long before he felt his phone buzz in the loose grip of his hand, yet what had only been seconds seemed like minutes in Even's mind. He jumped slightly when he felt it, his nerves on edge, anxious, nervous.

_ An hour at KB? _

_ Okay. _

He sighed as he shoved his phone back into his pocket, turning the car on as his heart beat harshly in his chest, thankfully the car engine roaring to life and filling the vehicle with some noise other than Even's rapid thoughts.

As he drove onto the road, starting the tremulous journey to the cafe, he couldn’t help but remember the last time he went to meet Lea at the very same place. The day that he had fucked up the best thing to have happened to him in a long time.

He couldn’t dwell on his mistakes for long though, he needed to move on. Now.

* * *

The smell of the fresh coffee penetrated his senses when he lifted the cup, the warmth of it invigorating his cold hands and making him feel at least a tiny bit better, regardless of the dread stuck in the pit of his stomach. It was all he tried to focus on as he took a sip of it, exhaling afterward and deliberately releasing all of the tension from his shoulders, rolling them for a moment and releasing a breath. He knew he couldn't possibly relax, but it was worth a try.

His eyes trailed over to the side where he sat in the corner of the room, looking out through the large window next to him, separated from the outside world by such an easily penetrable barrier. He presumed it was rather ironic that even this could be shattered in a second, the walls he had built up around him for so many years were broken so easily, effortlessly, the second those green eyes met his. And now, now that he was gone, he couldn't bear to start the build once more. He had no strength left. 

His eyes trailed over all the people walking by, all of them rushing somewhere, oblivious to what they were doing, who they were walking past. His gaze got stuck on a pair rushing down the street, their fingers interlaced, the smiles stretching on their faces soft and fond as they giggled at each other, they looked where they were going, careful not to run into anyone, but Even noticed the way they glanced towards each other every once in a while, almost as if it was impossible for them both to not revel in the presence of the other. Bitterness filled Even's body, his hands clenching only a tiny bit around the cup, and he released it, instead focusing on relaxing his fingers, spreading them flat on the table and concentrating on the coolness of the surface on his palm. 

Just as he was about to look away, he noticed a slim figure crossing the road hastily, their steps long and rushed, their top half bundled up in a thick jacket, a beanie pulled over their head yet several strands of blonde hair peaked through. He didn't have to see her face to know it was Lea, he could recognize her simply from the way she walked, from the way her hands were stuffed into her pockets and her shoulders scrunched upwards, her body curling in on itself in an attempt to keep the warmth close as she finally reached the cafe, a shaky hand reaching for the handle and she stepped inside, closing the door shut quickly as the small groups of people sitting at the surrounding tables glanced up at her.

Lea looked around quickly as she pulled her hat off, stuffing it in the pocket of her coat, the edge of it still poking through. Even before she found him in the small room, Even could see the tired expression she wore. The dark circles under her normally piercing but now dull and exhausted green eyes were more prominent than ever, her hair tied up in a messy and tangled ponytail and her hands rubbing against each other in an effort to get warm. 

She finally saw where Even was, her eyes filling with a strange emotion when they landed on him, her lips pulling up in a soft and kind smile, one which Even was too late to return before she looked away, walking over to the counter. His confusion grew even more at her reaction, he hadn't seen her features that affectionate and welcoming since before she found out about what had happened, and he didn't understand what changed, what made her suddenly not hate him.

Maybe the fact that I'm not fucking her brother anymore and she got what she wanted.

A bitter voice inside his head spoke, but he dispelled it quickly, not allowing it to keep roaming inside his already dark mind. He couldn't think of Lea that way, he couldn't turn against her when she was merely protecting the person she cared about. After all, Even was trying to protect Isak as well when he broke up with him. So they were both made from the same cloth, he couldn't hate her, never. He could only hate himself.

"Hi," A soft voice interrupted his thoughts, and he realized he had been staring at the table in front of him, lost in his mind and unmoving.

"Hey," He said with croaky voice, making him cough to clear his throat as he watched Lea pull the chair out, gingerly sitting down and placing her mug onto the table, her hand rubbing her face for a moment before she placed it onto her lap, her teeth digging into her bottom lip as she kept quiet, not saying a word, and Even could feel the tension rising. Whether it be because this was the first time they've spoken since that day, or because Lea remembered what Even had done, he didn't know, but he knew he had to say something, try to get her to go back to normal with her and forget this had all happened. 

"How are you?" He said the first thing that came to mind, both wanting to know if she was okay as well as break the silence.

Lea looked at him for a moment, her tongue darting out to wet her chapped lips before she nodded, "Yeah, I've been better, but you know..."

She stopped, letting her words die down as she glanced down at the table, playing with the napkin in front of her in a nervous manner.

And Even couldn't hold it in, he couldn't handle the tension between them.

"It's over you know," He started slowly, watching as an unfamiliar emotion sparkled in Lea's eyes, "I- We're not together anymore. So, you don't have to worry about it, I ended it.”

His eyes were fixed on his hands by the end of the sentence, unable to look up as he knew he would break down if he had. Instead, he focused on calming his shaking body, picking on the skin on his thumb and ignoring the thudding sound of his beating heart.

"Ev," He heard Lea say gently, almost apologetically, but he dare not make eye contact, instead he closed his eyes shut if only for a moment, willing the tears to go away. He took in a deep breath, ignoring the lump stuck in his throat, which only grew when Lea continued, "I fucked up."

He finally raised his gaze up, seeing nothing but sincerity on Lea's face as she shuffled forward, her chair scraping against the floor loudly, making the couple near them glance towards them. She rubbed a hand over her face and looked back at Even, her green eyes boring into his.

"I- Fuck," Lea started but her voice betrayed her, she shut her eyes before staring back at Even with regret in her green irises, yet Even's lips remained firmly shut. 

She took a deep breath, Even holding his own until she finally spoke.

"You know," She started once more, quietly, softly, "When Isak and I were young, I ignored him completely. I didn't want to stay home, I wanted to go out and fuck around with my friends, not babysit my little brother. And it stayed that way for a while, and then things at home started to change, they got worse, and Isak was left all alone,” She took a sip of her drink, almost as if she was gathering her thoughts.

“Weren’t your parents there?” Even finally found the strength to speak, the words sounding croaky even to his own ears, yet the confusion was clear.

A sad expression appeared on Lea’s features, regret mixed with guilt clear as day. 

“I would go out and not pay attention to him, and so would our dad, he would work and then go to a bar to avoid coming home, and our mom might as well not have been there at all, she,” Lea pauses, taking in a deep breath and looking down onto her lap, Even holding his breath as he waited for her to continue, knowing what she was going to say before she even said it, “She’s schizophrenic, you know?”

Even’s lips parted at the words, his expression remaining neutral but his heart beating hard in his chest.

“I- I didn’t know, Isak never said anything about her.”

Lea hummed, nodding at the words, almost as if she expected Isak to keep quiet about his home life.

“Yeah, he doesn’t like to talk about our family that often,” A sad smile appeared on Lea’s lips, her green eyes still tired and dull, yet a flicker of sadness appeared in them.

“So she couldn’t take care of him that well, and dad didn’t really want to. And as much as Isak acts strong and independent, he needs someone, and they weren't there. So, I stayed. I took care of him, I made sure he was okay. But then, uni started, and I left again. I think it affected him more than he'd ever like to admit admit, being left all alone again, and almost as if he was waiting for me to leave, our dad fucked off as well. Leaving Isak by himself with our mom, and then she broke down. She had an episode, and Isak was the only one there, because he always was alone,” Lea took in a deep breath, her hand shaky as it came up and she pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, “And he did what all of us did, ran. He got drunk, hooked up with someone and ended up living with Eskild. I mean, at least he wasn't all alone anymore, I think that helped him the most.”

“But,” Even said quietly, tilting his head to the side, “He still had you, he stays with you all the time.”

He expected Lea to smile and nod, but she didn’t. Instead she snorted and shook her head, looking at Even with sorrow.

“Not really. It's only recently that he started to come over by himself, that he started to want to be there with me. I tried to be there, to be with him but it wasn’t the same. He didn’t like having people take care of him anymore because we all fucked off in the end. But eventually, he got better. He still didn’t want anything to do with dad, and mom can't be there for him as much as he wants her to, but he got better. All by himself,” Lea paused in order to stop the tears from spilling down her cheeks, and before he could stop himself, Even was reaching forward and grabbing her hand, the girl gripping it tightly and allowing a grateful yet timid smile to pull on her lips.

“But then, you came along,” Even's cheeks flushed at the words, yet the smile on Lea's face remained in place, “ And I kind of saw it? I saw the way you looked at each other, I saw the way Isak smiled more freely, and I got more scared than he ever was. I didn't want him to end up the same way he always had, with someone leaving him. I don't give him enough credit really, because he'd be okay I think, I think he'd figure it out. It's me that wouldn't be able to handle the heartbreak on his face, it's me that got scared about him when I shouldn't have. So, I'm sorry."

Even tried to breathe at the end, he did, but he couldn’t, he remained in place, unable to move a muscle. The sound of the people around them ceased to exist, there was nothing there but the girl in front of him and the grieved words flowing out of her.

“But, what changed your mind?” He said the only question he could think off, the only thing he couldn't understand.

Lea sighed heavily, lifting her cup and taking a sip before she put it back on the table, yet her hand remained wrapped around it, her other hand moving away from Even's grasp.

"Even while I was telling you to stay away I- I felt guilty, not because I thought I was doing the wrong thing but because I could tell how much it hurt you. And then I started noticing how much Isak was hurt as well, but I thought he'd get over it, so I told you to stay away again," Lea licked her lips as Even kept his eyes on her, his heart clenching at the bitter reminder.

"I didn't really see Isak much after that, he didn't come over to my place, he didn't text me or anything like that, and I just left him alone, gave him time to cool off," Her eyes glazed over, tears nearly spilling out but she blinked them away, looking out the window for a few silent moments before she carried on, "And then, four days ago, he showed up at my place."

Even looked at her for several seconds, blinking a few times before averting his gaze down to the table, trying not to think of what happened that day, trying not to cry for the hundredth time since he received that particular text.

"Oh," He said quietly, his voice coming out shaky and unsure, "W-What happened?"

"I don't know, he came over and he was already really upset so I helped him calm down and got him to go to sleep, and he's been the same every day since then," Lea took in a deep breath before continuing, "I could just see how upset he was and the fact that it's my fault..."

Even could see a tear roll down her rosy cheek, her hand flying up to wipe it off straight away, his chest constricting at the sight of her so upset.

Before he could say anything to comfort her, to ease her pain, she spoke once more.

"And Eskild talked to me as well," Lea laughed softly, looking up at Even through her long and wet eyelashes, her pink lips pulled up in a crooked, barely noticeable smile.

Even couldn't help but let his lips quirk up a tiny bit as he was reminded of the man he spoke to, the man that encouraged him and gave him some type of small hope, even if it was extinguished only a day later.

"He basically told me that I was an idiot, that I was being overprotective, and I didn't agree with him at first but, I do now."

Even's lips parted, a breath that he didn't know he was holding coming out of him at Lea's words, relief, and sorrow, filling his entire being.

"I'm sorry that I told you to break it off, I shouldn't have done that, I should've let Isak be with you and if it got fucked up, then Isak would deal with it, he'd be hurt and he'd get over it. I shouldn't have tried to control you or him."

"I-," Even started, yet he couldn't think of a word to say, he couldn't believe what he was hearing, "Thank you for saying that. But it doesn't matter anyways, it's still over."

The words tasted sour as they left his tongue, making him feel as if now it really was true, hearing it being said out loud solidified them in his mind.

"But why? You guys wanted to be together," Lea said gently, a hint of confusion in her tone of voice.

Even thought of keeping it to himself, simply saying that it couldn't work out and leave it at that, but the girls honesty made him be honest, made him tell her how he felt.

"I'm bipolar," He waited for her to say something, anything, but she simply hummed and nodded softly, patiently waiting for him to continue, "And I-Isak left home because of his mom, I don't know if he'd want to be with me if he knew."

He thought Lea would agree, that she would say Isak wouldn't be able to handle it, but she didn't. Instead, she reached forward, grabbing Even's hand with her own in the gentlest of ways, a mirror image of what he had done for her only moments ago.

"Even, he left home because he didn't know what to do and he was all alone. He didn't leave because he hated her, or because he didn't love her. He left because no one was there for him, not even her. If you told him, he'd be completely fine with it, just tell him what to do and how to handle things if you have an episode and that's it. He's a smart kid, and he's a sweetheart, he'll be fine."

The words calmed him only a little bit, but he knew that there was no use now, the hope he should have had wasn't there.

"He doesn't want to be with me though, he told me not to text him anymore."

Lea frowned slightly, tilting her head to the side in thought as she drummed her fingertips on the table, pursing her lips before finally speaking.

"When did he say that?"

Even licked his lips, knowing that he couldn't lie to her, but also knowing he'd have to reveal that they had spoken to each other even when Even had already told Lea he'd break it off.

"Four days ago," He said softly, waiting for Lea to react, but she didn't. She nodded once before furrowing her brows even more.

"That was when he showed up at my place, did anything happen or?"

Fuck.

He knew there was no way out of this, but he hoped Lea wouldn't get mad at him.

"We were going to meet up that day, I was going to tell him I'm bipolar, explain everything so that he'd stop blaming himself for our break up, and he agreed, but then right before he was supposed to come over he told me to leave him alone."

Lea crossed her arms over her chest, looking at Even while deep in thought, making him squirm in his seat and glance down at the table, looking at anything but her.

"I don't know, something must've happened, I don't think he'd just send that randomly.”

Even nodded slightly, still confused as to what happened, but knowing he'd never find out.

"Do you want me to talk to him about it?" Lea asked suddenly.

Even shook his head straight away, not wanting her to pester Isak over it, no matter how much he wanted to know.

"It's okay, don't worry about it."

Lea dipped her chin down in a nod, a sad expression on her face remaining in place.

"I really am sorry, you know?" Lea said once more, the sentence laced with sincerity.

Even smiled at her kindly, "I know."

* * *

Throwing himself onto his bed, Even released a sigh, grateful that he was finally home after spending hours talking to Lea, the hug she had given him at the end of it all making relief bloom in his chest.

He turned to lay on his back, releasing a sigh and throwing an arm over his eyes, deliberately relaxing his muscles and calming himself down.

He was just about to get up, change his clothes when he felt his phone buzz in the pocket of his jeans. A groan came out of him at the sound, wishing he didn't have to speak to anyone anymore but not wanting to ignore them, so he took his phone out, reading the caller ID and sighing before answering the call.

"Hey, Sonja."

"Hey, Even," He heard some shuffling on the other end of the call before Sonja seemingly settled down, speaking once again in a cheery voice, "Wanna come over and hang out?"

Closing his eyes shut once more, he tried not to groan at the invitation. He knew that usually he would say yes, usually he would go over and it would probably end up with both of them naked with sheets tangled around their feet, but not now. He couldn't, not anymore.

"No, sorry, I'm not really in the mood right now." 

"Oh," He could hear the surprise in Sonja's voice, as well as the concern, "Are you okay?"

He sighed heavily, tired of acting like everything was okay, tired of keeping it in, so he let the words spill out.

"No, not really, I had a thing with this guy and it just, it didn't work out. I broke it off but then when I wanted to talk to him again he agreed but when we were meant to meet up he texted me saying he didn't want to see me again."

"W-what's his name?" If he hadn't been so lost in his thoughts, he would've noticed a strange tone in Sonja's voice, he would've asked her what's wrong, but he didn't.

"Isak."

"Oh," Sonja said simply with a shaky voice, not carrying on but Even could hear her breathing heavily, yet he carried on talking.

"Yeah, he's so sweet Sonja, you would've loved him. He's so kind and funny and so soft, the softest boy I've ever met. He has these pretty golden curls and the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen, they're so fucking green and so gorgeous, I swear half of the time I spent with him I didn't even talk like a damn idiot just because I was too busy looking into his eyes. Ugh, it's so stupid. I wish I could get him out of my head, but I can't."

"Even?" Sonja said quietly, Even humming in response before she asked him, "Is this the guy that was meant to come over when I was at your place?"

Even frowned at the question, looking up at the ceiling before he sat up, crossing his legs underneath him, "Yeah, it is. Why?"

A beat of silence had passed, Sonja not saying a word, tension rising in the air before she broke it.

"Fuck, I'm really sorry Even."

His confusion only intensified at the words, his heart speeding up before he blurted out, "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"He," Sonja started but stopped to take in a deep breath, yet it sounded shaky even through the speaker, "He did come over when I was there, while you were in the shower."

Even's breath hitched, his hand gripping the phone tightly while the other turned into a fist, his nails leaving indents in his palm as he tried to calm himself.

"What did you do, Sonja?" He tried to keep his voice calm, but he knew he had failed, he knew there was anger already seeping through his words.

"You were acting so strange that day, so hyper. And you said you didn't sleep really well, so I kind of assumed... You were having an episode," She took a moment, waiting for Even to say something but he didn't speak, he couldn't, "He came over and he looked so nervous but excited and his face just dropped when he saw me. He looked so young, Even, I thought you were just with him cause I thought you were manic, I- I didn't think you were serious about him, I'm so sorry."

Even's eyes focused on the table on the other side of the room, he counted the objects placed on it to bring his anger down, to stop his heart from pounding so harshly in his chest. But it didn't work, no matter how much he looked at the crumpled up paper, the discarded pens, or the movie DVD's placed on it, he couldn't get rid of the ringing in his ears.

"What did you say to him?"

"I said that you were manic, t-that it was just a phase, that he was just something to entertain you for a while, that he should leave and leave you alone. He just left after that, and so did I. Fuck, Even I'm sorry." Sonja rambled out after a second of pure, torturous silence.

He couldn't listen to her, he simply couldn't. So, he spit out the only words he could think of, the only words that came to mind at that moment.

"Fuck you, Sonja."

And he hung up. Tossing his phone to the side before burying his face into his hands, groaning in frustration and letting himself fall onto his back, his head placed on the soft pillow.

He couldn't believe it, he couldn't believe Sonja would to that, that she would say such things to Isak.

But now he understood, he knew what was going through Isak's head, he knew why he didn't want to speak to Even anymore.

And he knew he had to fix it. He simply had to convince Isak that it was real, it was the most real thing he had felt in a long time. 

He had to talk to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ONE more chapter left folks!! And then maybe a short lil epilogue but.... We'll see.   
> I hope you guys like it, let me know what you think about this chapter, or what you think will happen in the next one, or anything you want really.
> 
> If you have any questions about this or any other of my fics, OR if you have any prompts/headcanons you'd like me to either put in some of my fics OR write a one shot for, or if you just want to talk about some hc's, you can head over to my Tumblr:  isaksforelsket   
> Twitter: vandervaltersen


	12. now and forever

The scraping of the pencil against the paper was heard throughout the silence of the empty room; crumpled up papers falling down onto the floor as Even moved his arm to the side, his elbow pushing the discarded drawings off while he leaned back and arched his back, feeling his joints crack after spending far too long in the same position before he leaned over his desk once more, crossing his ankles and looking at the drawing before him.

He scoffed irritably and rubbed a hand over his face, hoping there were no pencil markings on his skin as he moved his hand away. He couldn't help but find something wrong with his work every time he looked at it. Every line, every bit of shading seemed to be in the wrong place, and he simply couldn't fix it. He couldn't get it to look the way he imagined it to be.  And he knew why that was. He could feel his fingers itching to grab the pencil and draw those curls, that perfect nose, and those pouty lips. But he stopped himself every time, instead choosing to draw anything that came to mind

The buzzing of his phone distracted his thoughts, yet the furrow of his brows remained in place. He reached over, grabbing his phone and glancing at the screen before rolling his eyes in exasperation, locking it and standing from the chair, letting it roll away from the desk as he pushed his phone into the pocket of his sweatpants.

Ever since they talked yesterday--ever since he found out about what she had done--Sonja had texted him and called him dozens of times, offering useless apologies which--while sounding sincere--did nothing to salvage the situation. The situation  _ she  _ put him in. 

Running a hand through his slightly greasy hair, Even slowly stepped out of his room, walking around aimlessly as the sound of his bare feet padding on the hardwood floor echoed in his flat. He couldn't help but resent the silence. He used to enjoy it occasionally, it allowed him to focus on himself, on what he needed to do without any interruptions, but now it was merely a reminder of how empty his apartment was.

Another buzz of the device in his pocket and he rolled his eyes. He sighed as he gripped the handle on the fridge, opening it and staring into it, not even hungry but still, he needed something to do, something to stop himself from simply running over to Isak's and telling him how he felt.

Shutting the fridge behind him, he let out a sigh of frustration before grabbing the phone from his pocket. Even quickly walked over into the living room, throwing himself down onto the couch, unlocking his phone and reading the messages Sonja had sent as annoyance and anger enveloped him once more with the reminder of what had happened.

**Sonja**

_ Even, I'm sorry _

_ I didn't mean to do it. I know I fucked up _

_ I got scared and worried. I know its not my place anymore, and I know that me doing this type of shit is exactly the reason we broke up but I'm sorry. I got worried. I didn't want you or the kid to end up hurt. _

_ It was a stupid mistake and I'll never intervene in your life that way again.  _

_ You should've seen his face, Ev, he looked so fragile and with the way you were acting when I came over I just assumed it was an impulsive thing for you _

Even groaned out, throwing his head back and shutting his eyes if only for a moment, desperately wanting her to stop, just leave him alone and let him think of what to do, how to fix the mess she had caused and how to get his life back on track. 

He looked back down to the screen, biting his lip in thought for a moment before exiting their conversation, opening the one he had with Mikael instead.

**Mikael**

_ I need help _

_ First of all, what did you do? _

_ Second of all, I'm on my way. _

* * *

 

"Okay, but what the fuck should I do?" Even said in a petulant voice, whining and almost pouting from where he lay on the couch, his head resting on the armrest at an uncomfortable angle, making him turn and shift every minute in an effort to get more comfortable, his legs placed in Mikael's lap as they stared at him with a tilted head, exasperated from both the tone of Even's voice and the conversation itself.

"What do you mean? Just talk to him, what's the big deal?" Mikael said with frustration while pinching the bridge of their nose, which was understandable. They had been going over this topic ever since they had come over after Even asked them to do so, claiming he needed help. They rushed over, only for both of them to end up sprawled out on the couch, while they were forced to listen to Even recount everything that had happened, a tinge of anger still in his voice when he said what Sonja had done, Mikael's face being contorted into one filled with frustration and rage at the newfound knowledge. But Even had quickly changed the topic, knowing there were far more important matters to discuss than Sonja, such as how he could win Isak over once again, without anything or anyone getting in the way.

"No, I can't," He groaned out in annoyance, confused as to why Mikael didn't get it. "It needs to be a grand gesture, it needs to be meaningful and beautiful. Like a movie scene, I just need it to be perfect."

He heard Mikael sigh, making him look over to see them throw their head back before diverting their gaze back to Even, "No, it doesn't."

"Yes, it does, what the fuck? He has to know that I'm being sincere, I have to show him how much I care about him. He already doesn't think that my feelings for him are real, I need to prove it to him."

Mikael frowned at the words, licking their lips and taking a deep breath before speaking in a patient voice, "It really doesn't need to be some elaborate scheme where you fill his flat with rose petals or get him to come out on the balcony as you tell him how beautiful he is and how his eyes glimmer like the stars," Mikael said dramatically, flailing his arm around but stopping when he noticed Even's eyes widening in excitement, they raised their hand and shook their head vehemently. "No, absolutely not, you're not doing any Romeo and Juliet type of shit. It doesn't have to be this grand gesture, man, it really doesn't. Why can't you telling him the truth, telling him how much he means to you be beautiful and magical enough? You don't need props or a script for something like that to be meaningful, just be honest with him."

Even stared at his friend for a moment, blinking at them as he struggled to think of what to say. Yet, he didn't have to think about it, he knew they were right. He knew that all Isak really wanted, and all that Isak needed, was for Even to look him in the eyes and tell him the truth, tell him what he should have told him straight away, tell him that Sonja was wrong, that he's not a phase. He knew that Isak wouldn't deal with any romantic gestures if words and explanations didn't come before them. He would simply have to resort to talking to him, being honest with him, and then when,  _ if,  _ Isak wanted to give them a chance, he could shower the younger boy in flowers and gifts and as much love as Even could possibly pour out of himself.

"Fuck, how are you so smart sometimes?" Even groaned slightly, rubbing a hand over his face as Mikael pushed his legs off of their lap.

Mikael snorted, laughing for a moment before looking back at Even, "I'm always smart, bitch."

Even smiled softly, watching as Mikael's face changed into one of understanding. They knew Even was beyond grateful that they helped him, that they were there for him every time he had a problem. And he knew he had to do was go over to Isak's flat and talk to him, tell him what happened, but he had to gather the strength for it. He had to do it right.

He leaned to his side, grabbing his phone from the table and unlocking it with sure hands, quickly going to the conversation with Lea.

**Lea**

_ Hey, is Isak at your place? _

_ Nope, he left yesterday, he's back at the Kollektiv. _

_ Why? _

_ I'm gonna go and talk to him. _

_ Fucking finally. _

* * *

 

His knuckles hit the door rapidly, his palms sweating as he rocked on the balls of his feet, waiting for Isak to open the door, hoping he wouldn't slam it shut in his face straight away and that he would hear him out.

He heard hurried footsteps approaching the door, the door handle being turned and he held his breath, waiting to see his boy, waiting to hear his voice. 

And the door opened, his lips parting as he was about to say something but he stopped himself before the words left his mouth.

Instead of Isak, what he saw on the other side was a shocked Eskild, whose face changed into that of frustration only a second later.

Eskild turned his head to the side, looking into the apartment as Even followed his sightline, trying to see if Isak was there before the older man stepped out, closing the door carefully and glaring at Even with a ferocious gaze.

"What are you doing here?" Eskild hissed angrily, crossing his arms against his chest as he frowned up at Even.

"I just need to talk to Isak," Even said with a soft voice, trying to calm Eskild and make him understand that he needed to do this, that he wasn't here to argue.

"He came home a few days ago and told me that you had someone else at your flat before bursting into tears and I will  _ not  _ let you anywhere near him again," He could hear the anger in Eskild's voice, but the thudding of his heart was louder. He couldn't focus on anything but Isak, Isak being upset, Isak crying over this, Isak thinking that Even was with someone else. And that someone else being Sonja, the person that Isak knows Even has a history with, the girl that Isak knows Even slept with even after they broke up.

_ Fuck. _

"No, Eskild, listen," He took in a deep breath, preparing himself for an argument he didn't have the strength to have. "Yeah, there was someone at my flat, but I'm not dating them or hooking up with them, it was just a stupid misunderstanding. Just, let me talk to him. I need to tell him that it's not what he thinks, I need to tell him I-," He trailed off, looking down to the floor before he glanced back at Eskild, hope sparking up in his soul at the sight of the harsh look in his eyes melting. "I just want to explain everything. If Isak kicks me out afterwards then I'm going to stay away, I swear. I'm not going to call him or text him, I will leave him alone. But I can't let us be over without telling him how much he means to me, I can't."

Eskild looked at him for a few seconds, seconds which seemed like eternity in Even's muffled mind. He could feel the harsh beat of his heart, he could practically feel his skin vibrating with the need to go inside, see Isak, touch him, feel him once more. But he knew he had to wait. 

Eskild sighed heavily, rubbing a hand over his face and looking back at Even before nodding slightly, making Even release a breath of relief.

"He's in the shower now, he'll be out soon," Eskild moved away, opening the door and stepping inside, allowing Even to walk into the apartment with quiet steps.

"Linn is at her parent's place, and I think Noora is at Eva's or some shit, I don't know, but I'm going to head out as well. I'll give you two some privacy so that you can sort this out, just don't fuck it up. If I come back and he's crying I will kill you."

Even took his jacket off, hanging it on the hook behind him as Eskild put his own on, pushing his feet into his shoes straight after before fixing Even with a harsh stare.

Even nodded, swallowing thickly as he looked behind himself, waiting to hear Isak padding into the room.

"Right, I'm leaving now," Eskild opened the door, but paused for a moment, looking at Even with a look much kinder compared to the one he had received when he first saw him, "Good luck."

"Thanks," Even said quietly, watching as Eskild turned around and left, closing the door shut behind him, the click of the lock heard clearly in his mind.

Even took a deep breath, trying to make his legs move, trying to take a step forward, and eventually, he succeeded. 

He walked into the small living room, glancing around only for a moment before he heard someone walking down the hall.

"Eskild, who are you talking to?" The voice carried into the room, Even's heart beating faster at the sound and making him want to run towards it, embrace the source and never let go. But his legs were rooted to the spot, all he could do was watch as Isak,  _ his  _ beautiful Isak, walked into the room.

The boy stopped in his tracks, his hand still in his slightly damp hair as the other was in the pocket of his grey sweatpants, his shirt hanging loosely off of his body, revealing the skin on his chest and the slight pink colour of it which matched his cheeks, and all Even wanted to do was press his lips to every inch of it.

"Hi," Even said with a croaky voice, coughing to clear his throat awkwardly as Isak remained in place, his face a picture of shock, his lovely lips parted and his green eyes wide open.

Isak lowered his hand, his eyes locked on Even before a frown appeared between his perfectly sculpted eyebrows, "What are you doing here?"

Even shuffled on his feet, his hands clenching as he took in a deep breath, using all his might to not look down, keep his eyes on Isak.

"We need to talk."

Isak's brows furrowed even further at the words, his face determined but Even could hear the hurt in his voice. "I don't know what else there is to talk about, you dumped me, you moved on cause it didn't mean anything, that's it."

He could feel his palms sweat, his chest constricting, yet he daren't move, he couldn't.

"Isak, that's not true. It meant everything to me."

Isak scoffed softly, a bitter laugh escaping him, yet it was humorless, laced with hurt instead. He shook his head, looking off to the side for a moment, his jaw clenching before he locked eyes with Even once more. "I talked to Sonja though."

Even nodded, releasing a sigh and trying hard not to groan at the reminder, "I know, and I know what she said to you. I know she told you I was manic, you know what that means, right?"

Isak looked at him for a moment, biting his lower lip before nodding, the strands of hair falling down his forehead bouncing slightly with the movement, "I-It means you're bipolar."

Even took a step forward, careful not to overstep his boundaries as Isak watched him, watched his every move.

"That's what I was going to tell you that day," He took in a shaky breath, ignoring the loud thudding of his heart and instead focusing on the eyes of the boy in front of him, those beautiful wide eyes. "I was going to tell you that I know about your mom, I know you left, and I know she's mentally ill," Isak looked down to the floor at the words, crossing his arms in front of his chest, trying to appear relaxed but Even could see the tension his shoulders carried, he could see Isak biting his bottom lip harshly to stop it from trembling. "I was going to tell you that I broke up with you because I got scared. I got scared that you'll have to choose between me and Lea, I got scared that you'll leave me anyways if you found out about me being bipolar, but I never once doubted my feelings for you. It was always about my own fears, never about you. It could never be your fault."

Isak took in a shaky breath, his entire form trembling as he kept his gaze locked onto the floor, refusing to look up at Even as the older boy stepped even closer to him, only one step between them.

"B-but Sonja was there, and you two are..." Isak trailed off, his voice cracking at the last word and leaving him unable to speak.

Even wished to touch him, to hold him close, but he knew he couldn't, not yet.

"We're just friends, there's nothing going on between us, I didn't touch her, I haven't touched anyone since you, I haven't even thought about anyone else but you, I don't want anyone else."

Isak's breathing was heard throughout the room, but he still didn't speak, his hands were clutching his arms where they were still crossed, his eyes closing shut as Even moved even closer, feeling the warmth radiating from the boy in front of him.

He leaned closer, bending his neck, "It's only you, Isak. Only you, no one else."

Isak shook his head stubbornly, a single tear sliding down his face as he inhaled sharply, seemingly breaking as a stream of drops poured down his flushed cheeks, and Even couldn't handle it, he moved his hands up, cupping his face and wiping the tears away with his thumbs.

Isak released a sob at the gentle touch, his head moving from side to side as he tried to take in a breath, arms falling limply to his sides. "N-no, you're lying to me."

Even leaned his forehead against Isak's, watching as the smaller boy tried to stop the tears from pouring out, but he simply couldn't.

"I'm not. I just want you Isak."

He felt small shaky hands wrap around his wrists, Isak's breathing still shaky, tears still streaming down his face, but he finally opened his eyes. His long eyelashes fluttered as his eyes met Even's, the hurt which was so visible in them before now slowly disappearing as Isak's breath hit Even's lips, making goosebumps rise on his skin.

"You do?" Isak asked softly, his voice more confident than before but his insecurities still seeping through.

Even looked him in the eyes, focusing on the beautiful shades of green mixing with all the emotions, all the pain Isak felt, and Even wished for nothing but to remove the hurt, to make him smile, to make his eyes shimmer with happiness.

"More than anything in the world."

Isak's lips parted, the hands wrapped around Even's wrists tightening as Even waited for Isak to say something, anything. But he didn't, he kept quiet. Instead, he watched as Isak moved closer, their noses grazing against each other in a far too familiar fashion, making a smile pull on Even's lips until they were pressed up against Isak's, and he couldn't think about anything else.

His thumb caught on the damp skin of Isak's cheek, his hand moving away as he wrapped an arm around Isak's waist instead, pulling him closer until their chests met and Isak's arms wrapped around Even's neck. Isak's smaller body melted into Even's, his lips parting on a whimper when Even trailed his tongue along the bottom one, allowing their tongues to meet, allowing Even to get a fill of the boy he had missed for far too long. His hand moved up into Isak's hair, fingers grasping the blonde locks and pulling gently, a small amount of pressure that still left Isak gasping into the kiss, raising onto his tiptoes and moving closer to Even, always closer.

That all too familiar scent of vanilla filled his senses as they moved their lips perfectly in time, and Even couldn't help but think about how well they fit. How perfectly Isak felt against him, how his arm fit on the arch of Isak's back, how Isak's lips felt against his own, how every flick of Even's tongue made the boy whimper.

They moved away from each other for a moment, their eyes glazed over as they looked at each other, catching their breath as a single moment of agreement flashed through them both, and suddenly they were crashing into each other again, their mouths open, their kisses harsher and more desperate than before. Even bit Isak's bottom lip and he felt the boy's knees buckle, making him slide his hands down his back until they met his perky ass, squeezing once and pulling him in, making Isak gasp and chuckle softly into the kiss, a smirk showing on Even's face until he moved on, gripping Isak's thick thighs and hoisting him upwards like he had so many times before, the younger boy wrapping his legs around Even's waist as Even started to move, walking over to Isak's room, only crashing into a wall once on the way, staying there for several moments before he moved on, finally walking into Isak's room and shutting the door, pressing the boy up against it after, his hand moving to Isak's cheek, pulling on it and making him open his mouth wider, allowing him to push his tongue inside.

He turned around swiftly, walking over to the bed and placing Isak on it gently, as if he was the most precious thing he had ever felt and he was scared of breaking it. Even crawled over him until he was comfortably situated between Isak's spread out legs, Isak's hands tangled in his hair as Even held himself up on his forearm, the other hand moving to the side as he felt around, finally turning the switch on the small lamp on Isak's nightstand, illuminating the room in an orange hue.

Their lips separated, their chests moving with each breath as they struggled to stay calm, to slow down, but the pressure of Even's erection against Isak's remained a constant reminder of what's to come. So, Even moved away regretfully, lifting his hips to garner his thoughts as Isak placed his hands on Even's neck, biting his lip and trailing his eyes over Even's features with so much emotion and fondness it made Even almost want to look away. Almost.

His fingers toyed with the curls above Isak's ears, a smile pulling on his lips as he moved forward, pecking his lips gently, trying to put all of his love and emotion into that single touch.

Isak released a shaky breath as he leaned back onto the pillow, teeth digging into his bottom lip as he tried to gather his thoughts, Even staying quiet until Isak got his words out.

"Ev," He started with a quiet voice. "I'm nervous."

Even frowned, his lips still pulling into a kind smile as he pushed a hand into Isak's hair, scratching at his scalp and trying to get him to relax, to get him to stop thinking. 

"What are you nervous about?"

Isak scoffed slightly, his cheeks burning pink as he glanced up at Even through his eyelashes before looking back down, unable to keep eye contact with him.

"I-I just want to be good for you, but I've never," He took in a deep breath, his face reddening even further than before. "I've never done anything like this before, I don't want to do anything wrong, and I'm scared I won't be able to, you know," He trailed off, raising his eyebrows and widening his eyes as he turned his head to the side, indicating that Even should understand, or perhaps simply hoping he wouldn't have to say it out loud.

"What?" Even released a soft laugh, watching as Isak rubbed a hand over his face, groaning before he leveled Even with a stare.

"I'm worried I won't be able to, like, take all of you."

Even laughed for a moment, quieting down when he saw the embarrassed looking expression on Isak's face, watching as Isak looked off to the side, his hand coming up to Even's chest, his thumb rubbing the skin while Even leaned forward, kissing his flushed cheek as gently as he could.

"We don't have to do anything, angel. I can just get you off with my mouth if you want."

He didn't think it was possible, but Isak's cheeks turned a shade redder than before, his eyes widening slightly but Even could hear and feel the way his breath hitched at the offer, the temptation almost too great to refuse.

Isak's tongue darted out, wetting his lips before he shook his head, "No, I want to do it, I'm just nervous."

Even hummed in understanding, placing a hand on Isak's cheek and watching as the boy leaned into it, releasing a content sigh at the small touch of comfort.

"Would it make you feel better if you topped?"

Isak's eyes widened before he bit his lip, shaking his head quickly as his fingers toyed with the collar of Even's T-Shirt.

Even rubbed his thumb over Isak's cheekbone, the pad of it catching on the soft flushed skin as Isak looked up at him shyly.

"How about," Even started, shuffling in discomfort as he tried to ignore the hardness making his jeans tighter and tighter by the second, "You ride me?"

Isak's lips parted, and Even could feel the way his breathing hitched, the way his hands stilled as he blinked a few times, his face still coloured in that gorgeous shade of pink.

"That way we can take it at your pace and you can have control over all of it, is that okay?"

Isak looked at him for a few more moments before his hands moved once more until they wrapped around Even's neck and he dipped his chin down in a nod.

"Can you kiss me?" Isak said in a shy, quiet voice, and Even was unable to do anything but smile and lean forward, nuzzling his nose against Isak's, feeling it squish as their lips met, moving against each other, slowly at first until the passion seeped through and their touches became rougher, shakier, more desperate. And suddenly, Even was moving upwards, placing a large hand on the back of Isak's neck, pulling him up with him before they seperated, only for a moment as he pulled Isak's T-shirt off, his breath hitching as Isak fell backwards, his curls falling onto the pillow behind him as Even's eyes trailed over his chest, the lines of his body smooth and soft, his nipples hard and pert as he began to whine, making grabby hands at Even as the older boy smirked, gripping the back of his own T-shirt and pulling it over his head, throwing it off to the side and bending his body until he was hovering over Isak's, lips a mere breath away from each other, and suddenly, small hands were in his hair, pulling him downwards as he traced his hand over Isak's waist, placing it onto the dip and moving his thumb in circles, rubbing the skin in a soothing motion as Isak whimpered into his mouth, his fingers releasing Even's hair and moving over his shoulders, down over his chest until they reached the waistband of his jeans, and suddenly they were being unbuttoned, the zipper pulled down and a small hand was being shoved inside, gripping the hard length and making Even's hips stutter, a groan being pushed out of his chest as Isak trailed a thumb over the tip, feeling the tackiness of the sticky pre-cum covering his boxers.

As Isak moved his head back, Even tilted his head, replacing the loss of Isak's lips against his own by pressing his mouth against the hot skin of Isak's neck, placing searing kisses on the skin, feeling Isak's hand tighten around him as he sucked on a particularly sensitive spot, nipping it before he soothed it with his tongue, his lips moving down, over his collarbones, leaving marks on his body as he travelled down to his nipples.

With regret at the loss of the gentle touch of Isak's hand, he moved until he could latch his mouth onto one of the nipples, grazing his teeth over it and sucking, lapping his tongue against the peak while his fingers delicately pinched the other, and no matter how gentle he wished to be with Isak, the boy seemed to enjoy every single one of his moves, each kiss, each suck, each lick being rewarded by a loud moan, a high pitched whine, or the loveliest whimper Even had ever heard in his life. He grazed his teeth over the nipple, kissing it softly before moving on until his lips met the waistband of Isak's sweatpants, fingertips softly dipping in, scratching at the skin beneath as Isak bucked his hips upwards, Even pressing his lips onto the skin of his hip and sucking, knowing that it would leave a mark.

Isak's breathing quickened as he sat back, slowly pulling Isak's pants down his long legs, watching as a blush spread all over Isak's body when Even threw them to the floor.

Even the sight of Isak's lower half still covered by his tight boxers made Even feel utterly and completely overwhelmed. His lips parted as he moved his hands over Isak's legs up to his groin, listening to him whimper as he trailed the back of his knuckles over the shaft of his prominent cock, watching as a shudder went through Isak's body.

Gripping the waistband, he slowly dragged the boxers down his body, keeping his eyes on Isak's face, their eyes not moving away from each other until the sound of the garment hitting the floor echoed in the room and Even trailed his gaze over Isak's body.

"Fuck, you're so beautiful," The words left his mouth before he could even think properly, but they were the truth. Isak's cheeks reddened even further, his eyelashes fluttering as he looked down and Even watched him slowly move his legs, closing them and hiding himself from Even's view.

But before he could do so, Even gently wrapped a hand around his ankle, moving it upwards and placing a kiss to the soft skin.

"Don't hide, baby, you have nothing to be embarrassed about," Even spoke softly, careful not to move for a split second before Isak nodded shyly, his body becoming relaxed once more. Even turned his head to the side, a hand still holding Isak's leg up, the other running over the other leg as he kissed his shin, moving down slowly, carefully until he reached his inner thigh. He stopped for a moment, his tongue darting out to wet his lips before he pressed them up against the milky skin, hearing Isak's breath hitch as he sucked, marking the spot. He wrapped a hand around his leg, his fingers grazing over the spot he just marked and feeling the way Isak's legs shook.

"Are you okay, baby?"

He glanced up, watching Isak nod vehemently, his hands clutching the sheets as he shut his eyes tightly.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm good."

Eyes moving downwards, he leaned forward, kissing Isak's perineum and hearing him gasp in shock. He moved his hands, thumbs trailing between his pert buttocks and pulling them to the side, revealing his tight pink hole.

"Jesus fuck, such a pretty little boy," Even he could hear the change in his tone, his voice becoming deeper and raspier, overcome with desire, but Isak didn't speak, he merely whined in response, hips moving down as he waited for Even to do something.

Even moved up, lips hovering above his erection before he wrapped them around the head, Isak moaning as he slid his tongue over it and started to move his head up and down, sucking on the length and feeling it twitch inside of his mouth. He could taste a burst of pre-cum on his tastebuds, making him groan in appreciation as he forced his throat to relax, swallowing Isak down until his nose was pressed up against his abdomen and Isak was shaking beneath him.

He moved his head up, wrapping his hand around it and stroking it a few more times before he leaned downwards, nudging Isak's smooth balls with his nose as he got closer and closer to the place he wanted to be deep inside of. He couldn't help but grind his hips into the bed, relieving some of the straining tension he felt, closing his eyes in satisfaction at the small release. 

He didn't realize he was simply ghosting his lips over Isak's perky cheeks, not making direct contact until he heard a high-pitched whine from above, making him snap his eyes open and see Isak writhing on the bed.

"Ev, please," Isak gulped, taking in a deep breath afterwards. "Stop teasing me."

"Relax, I've got you, angel," He licked his lips, moving forward until he was able to run the flat of his tongue over Isak's hole and perineum, stopping when he reached his balls, listening to the desperate moan Isak let out at the small relief.

He pointed his tongue, tracing it over the taut muscle of Isak's rim, not making contact with the entrance until Isak pushed downwards, making Even grip his hips tightly, keeping him in place as he pushed his tongue inside of his sweet boy.

Suddenly, he became overcome with desperation, needing to be deeper inside of him, needing to taste more of Isak. So he moved away reluctantly, kneeling back and watching as Isak's eyes fluttered open, a look of confusion on his lovely face.

"Turn over, sweetheart," Even said with a deep voice, filled with lust as Isak's face reddened and he slowly turned to lay on his stomach. He leaned forward, over Isak's expecting body and gripped a pillow, placing a hand on Isak's hip and lifting him up, listening to Isak squeak slightly before huffing out a small laugh, Even smiling softly in response as he placed the pillow beneath his hips.

He finally allowed himself to look at Isak, to look at his body and the way his hips helplessly twitched, desperately trying to get some sort of release on his leaking cock which lay on the pillow. His ass was as perfect as ever, his cheeks separating only slightly with each move Isak made. Even moved his hands, placing them on his cheeks and squeezing them before he finally spread them, his cock twitching at the sight of Isak's tight wet hole.

Leaning forward, he kept him spread open, his thumbs on the edge of Isak's rim, and he made contact once more, tongue swirling around in circles, dipping into his ass every once in a while before he flattened his tongue, running it over his guiche and perineum.

Isak was whining and whimpering with every single one of his touches, his thighs constantly moving, trembling when Even pushed his tongue in deeper than before.

"Fuck, Ev," Isak moaned out before gasping as Even massaged his balls with his hand, trailing his fingers over the clean-shaven skin as he moved higher, kissing over his guiche and licking them one by one, pulling them into his mouth and sucking gently before returning to Isak's ass.

"You taste so good, sweetheart."

He applied kitten licks over his rim, flicking his tongue over it before pressing his lips against his hole, sucking and slurping until his chin was covered in his own spit, but he didn't care. All he cared about was the tensing of Isak's thighs, the way he tried to rise up onto his knees and get Even's tongue deeper inside of him, the way he moaned and whined whenever Even's mouth was pressed up against him.

Flattening his tongue over his fluttering hole once more, he licked over it wetly before kneeling back, his hand squeezing the soft flesh of Isak's ass before he brought the other one to Isak's other cheek, clutching and pulling on the muscle, his cock twitching at the sight of Isak's hole slick with spit.

"Fuck, look at your pretty little ass," He trailed his hand over the skin until he moved his thumb between his cheeks, pulling on the flesh when he reached his rim. "You're fucking gorgeous."

Isak whined in response, twisting his head to the side until he made eye contact with Even, his lips parted and red from where he was biting them, his hands still clutching the pillow as Even rubbed the pad of his thumb over his ass.

Isak kept looking at him, his eyes wet and vulnerable and Even couldn't help himself. He leaned forward, his hand stilling as Isak lifted his head in anticipation of what's to come, and the second their lips met, he felt a shiver run down his spine, emotions overwhelming his entire body as he moved his hand, gripping Isak's hip while catching his bottom lip between his own.

He moved away, their lips parting as Isak sighed contently, but it wasn't too long until he moved his hips, wiggling on the sheets as he tried to push back against Even, desperate for some contact. But all Even did in return was smile fondly, eyes sparkling as he nuzzled his nose against Isak's before pecking his lips once more.

"Where's the lube, angel?"

Isak took in a shaky breath, blinking up at Even before speaking with a shy voice, "The drawer."

Even kneeled back quickly, ruffling through the nightstand until he finally grabbed the bottle, noticing some condoms in the drawer and grabbing one as well, placing them both on the bed.

He looked down his body, suddenly realizing he was still half-dressed, almost scoffing at the way he was so immersed into making Isak feel good that he forgot about getting naked. He quickly stood from the bed, Isak's head turning to look at him through half-lidded eyes as he pulled his jeans off, pushing his thumbs into the waistband of his boxers straight after and dragging them down, allowing his hard cock to bounce up. A small whimper from Isak didn't go unnoticed, making him look at the boy, notice the blush rising on his cheeks when he realized the noise he had let out. Even smirked cockily as he climbed back onto the bed, the mattress tipping where he kneeled next to Isak. He ran a hand over the arch of his back before returning it to his buttock, patting it softly as he spoke, "Turn over, baby."

Isak moved his limbs slowly until he flopped down onto his back, his hard dick laying against his stomach, the pre-cum dribbling from the tip smeared all over his pale skin as he took a deep breath, Even smiling at him softly while he grabbed the bottle of lubricant, uncapping it and letting it drip onto his palm, moving his hand until the liquid slid down his long fingers and he rubbed them together, warming it up.

Fingertips landed on Isak's rim, the lube mixing with the spit left over from his tongue, the glide easy as he finally pushed in, his other hand gently rubbing Isak's inner thigh as the boy's breath hitched at the sudden intrusion.

"Just relax, it's okay," Even tried to calm him, get him to relax enough for him to prep him, and after a few moments he watched as Isak's muscles untensed and allowed his finger to slide in deeper into his body.

Slowly, carefully, he slid his finger in and out of Isak. Grazing against his prostate with every move until he added another finger, allowing him to stretch that tight hole, his dick twitching with how good Isak felt, and he made sure to tell Isak as much.

"You're so good, angel, can't wait to fuck you, you feel so fucking good."

He spent ages slowly pushing his fingers inside of him, stretching him as Isak moaned and writhed on the sheets, his  back arching and his brows furrowed as he gripped the sheets tightly, his cock twitching as he neared his orgasm.

"Ev, stop, I'm gonna come," Isak moaned out, the sound turning into a desperate whine as Even pulled his fingers out, placing his palm on the bed next to Isak's head and leaning over him, kissing him softly as the boy caught his breath.

"You sure about this?"

Isak bit his lip, placing his hands on Even's neck and pulling him in closer until their lips were a breath away from each other, and he nodded.

"Yes, I'm sure."

Even smiled softly, placing a kiss on the tip of Isak's nose and making him scrunch it up before he rolled over onto his back, pulling Isak with him until the boy got the hint, straddling his thighs and sitting back on them. Even sat up, wrapping an arm around Isak's waist as he shuffled backwards until his back was against the wall and he could feel Isak's hard dick pressed up against his own.

He flattened his hand against Isak's back, moving it until it stilled just above his ass. Isak looked off to the side, grabbing the condom before Even took it from his hands. He lifted it to his mouth, tearing the wrapper with his teeth and allowing him to pull the latex out, feeling Isak's eyes on his every move, about to grab his cock when he felt a small hand wrap around it, making him groan and tilt his head back, his eyes closing shut as Isak kept jerking him off slowly, until he couldn't take it anymore. He looked back towards him, a silent agreement going through their eyes as Isak moved his hand away, allowing Even to pull the condom on before grabbing the discarded bottle of lube, pouring some onto his palm and slathering it all over his erection.

Before Isak even had the chance to move, Even placed a firm grip at the nape of his neck, pulling him in for a kiss, their tongues meeting in the middle as his lube-covered hand moved back towards Isak's fluttering hole, rubbing over it softly and slathering it in lubricant.

Isak separated their lips, a shaky exhale coming out of him as he looked at Even one more time before moving forward, Even gripping his own cock, his other hand placed firmly on Isak's hip to steady him as the boy lined up his hole with Even's length. 

And with a deep breath, Isak sunk down, a gasp emitting from his parted, shiny lips as the head of Even's cock stretched his rim. 

"There we go, that's good, just relax and go slowly, darling," Even said with a deep voice, fingers twitching where they held onto Isak's waist as the other one roamed over his thigh, occasionally traveling back to grip his cheek.

Even bit his lip to stop a groan from coming through, wanting nothing to prevent him from being able to hear Isak's labored breathing and soft whimpers as he slowly inched lower, hands fisted on Even's chest.

Isak stopped moving once he was halfway down, eyes closed as his breathing quickened, and Even used every ounce of self-control he had not to push into him as deep as he could, knowing that he needed to take it slow, he needed to let Isak do this at his own pace.

"Even, fuck," Isak moaned out, thighs shaking as he stayed in place for a few more seconds before moving lower once more, a desperate wail coming out of him at the feel of Even's cock dragging along his walls. "God, y-you feel so good."

Even groaned out at the desperation in Isak's words, gripping his waist tightly, his fingertips mere inches away from each other as he trailed his eyes over Isak's lithe body, drinking in every gorgeous line of the angel in front of him.

And finally, with a small pained whimper, Isak bottomed out. 

“There you go, you’re so gorgeous on my cock, angel.”

Isak’s eyes fluttered open at the words, his body moving forward to lean his forehead against Even’s, but whilst moving Even’s cock shifted inside of him, causing Isak’s eyes to become wide open as he gasped, hands shaking where his fists were clenched on Even's chest.

Isak slowly started moving, making small, barely noticeable movements with his hips, getting used to the stretch of his hole, getting used to feeling so fucking full. But every little move that he made only made Even grow increasingly more desperate, his thighs shaking from the effort it took to stay still.

“Go slowly, take your time, baby,” Even cooed at him with a fond voice as Isak whimpered in pleasure, his brows knitted together as he started grinding faster, getting used to the size inside of him.

“Does it-Does it feel good for you?”

The slight insecurity in Isak's voice made Even's heart clench and he immediately pulled Isak in closer, kissing him roughly as he thrust upwards inside of him, Isak moaning at the feeling.

"You feel incredible, Isak. So fucking tight, so good. You're so warm, angel, I could stay inside of you forever."

With the praise, Isak lifted himself up, keeping eye contact with Even as he slid down once more, and suddenly, he was bouncing up and down, his thighs tensing with each move, his curls bouncing as he set up a rough pace.

Even gripped his hips tightly, setting his feet up on the mattress and fucking up into Isak's body, the boy moaning loudly at the thrust and falling forward, arms wrapping around Even's neck as he hid his face into the crook of it, whimpering and whining with every thrust Even made.

He made sure to keep the angle, knowing that he was hitting Isak's prostate by the loud moans the boy was letting out and the tight clenching around his cock.

"Ev, Even, I-I'm gonna come," Isak moaned, his voice muffled from where his lips were pressed up against Even's skin.

Even groaned out, wrapping an arm around Isak's slim waist before flipping them over, hearing Isak huff out a laugh at the sudden change of position, making Even smile as he leaned over him on his forearms, watching his face fondly as Isak's lips quirked up before they parted on a moan when Even thrust forward.

A hand slid down Isak's waist, holding him in place as the other was pushed into his hair, Even keeping his eyes on him, only him, as he thrust in, pulling out only to move forward harshly, setting up a rough pace which left Isak incapable of doing anything but throwing his head back in pleasure.

"No, no, baby," Even said with a voice far too calm for the way he was moving. "Look at me."

Even watched as Isak opened his eyes, his pupils dilated and his eyelashes long and wet, his lips parted as he whimpered, but he kept his eyes on Even.

"That's it, there's my baby boy. Just keep your eyes on me, I want to see you, angel."

Isak's moans were getting louder, more high-pitched, uninhibited, and Even knew he was close. He could feel the shaking of his thighs where they were spread out, he could hear the rapid intakes of breath, he could feel the strong grip Isak had on his hair as he wrapped his arms around his neck, the firmness of the grasp a juxtaposition to the docility of the rest of his body.

He leaned his forehead on Isak's, pushing his hips forward, stopping occasionally to grind deep inside of him, feel the clench of his walls as the head of his cock pressed up against Isak's swollen prostate, but still Isak's eyes were open, brimming with tears as he got closer to the peak.

"Even, I'm gonna," He stopped on a moan as Even pistoned in and out of him, hitting his spot on almost every single thrust as Isak tilted his hips upwards, taking more of him in and in turn making Even groan out in pleasure.

"Yeah, come on, I want to see you come," He moved his hand off of Isak's side--the hand which had been sliding up and down his body, one second gripping his thick thigh and the next being placed on his ribcage, his thumb brushing over Isak's sensitive nipple--and he spat onto his palm, Isak tracking his movements as he wrapped his long fingers around his throbbing dick.

Isak jolted forward, mouth dropping open as Even kept applying firm, steady strokes to his cock, his own erection still steadily moving in and out of Isak's ass. He knew that the boy was close, and he knew that he would have to make him come soon if he wanted to make him finish first. He could feel the heat bubbling in his abdomen, he knew that he wouldn't last, not with the way Isak felt around him, not with the way Isak  _ looked  _ at him.

"You look so beautiful right now, so fucking gorgeous. Your face, your body, everything, you're stunning," He stopped on a groan as Isak pulled him closer, kissing him harshly before Even lifted his head, needing to see him. "But I bet you look even better when you're coming. Come on, sweetheart, I want to see you feel good."

With a skilled twist of his wrist and a harsh thrust, Even felt Isak's body tense up, his eyes wide as time seemed to stop for a moment, and then Isak threw his head back, brows furrowed and eyes closing shut as he moaned louder than before, his ass clenching impossibly tighter around Even's cock as he slowed his movements, fist gripping Isak's twitching dick as he came all over his stomach, his back arched as he dragged his fingernails down Even's back which Even knew would leave marks, but he didn't care. Not when Isak looked like this, not when Isak felt so fucking good because of him.

"Fuck, that's it, such a good little boy, darling. Does that feel good, huh? You're so beautiful, my beautiful boy," Even ran his mouth, hips grinding slower and slower until he stopped moving completely, his hand releasing Isak as the boy fell limp to the body, all his wires cut as he tried to catch his breath.

Finally, after moments of nothing but heavy breathing, Isak stirred. Eyelashes fluttered as he opened his eyes, his gaze landing on Even straight away, and Even watched as a shy smile spread on Isak's lips, one which he couldn't not return. He placed a hand on the boy's cheek, Isak nuzzling into it and releasing a sigh as Even rubbed a thumb over his cheekbone.

He could've stayed there forever, looking at Isak's blissed-out expression, but then Isak moved, gasping from the friction, and Even was suddenly more aware than ever of how hard he was, how deep inside of Isak he still was, how his hips were twitching forward in a desperate attempt to get more pressure on his straining erection.

"I'm going to pull out, okay baby?"

Just as he was about to move, he could feel Isak's legs wrapping around his waist, the boy using the remainder of his strength to keep him in place, to stop him from moving anywhere.

He looked at him with furrowed brows, Isak biting his lip before his tongue darted out.

"Keep going," Isak said with a raspy, yet shy, voice, and Even was sure he had never heard words hotter than those, but then Isak kept going. "I want you to come inside of me."

Even groaned, his head dropping into the crook of Isak's neck as he subconsciously pushed further inside of him.

"You sure?" His voice came out muffled but he could feel Isak nodding beside him.

"Yeah, please, please, Even," Isak gasped out as Even started to move again, lifting himself up until he was kneeling on the bed, grinding into Isak slowly, his movements picking up the pace as he looked at the come splattered all over Isak's torso.

He gripped Isak's hips tightly, fingertips digging into the supple flesh as he started to thrust harshly once again. He tried not to hit Isak's prostate but he knew the boy was still overwhelmed, he could see the firm grip he had on the sheets beneath him, the frown between his brows and he could definitely hear the choked sob he let out.

"Fuck," Even groaned loudly, looking down to where he was connected to Isak. "You're so fucking tight, you feel so damn good."

Isak moaned at the words, looking up at Even with so much adoration in his lovely green eyes that Even couldn't hold it in anymore. With a loud moan, Even thrust in as deep as he could, burying himself inside of Isak as his cock twitched, thighs shaking as he came into the condom. He could feel the shiver running through Isak's body as he came, and he forced himself to open his eyes, looking at the fucked out boy beneath him as he finally came down from his high.

His hands moved over Isak's waist and back to his thighs, feeling his body while he caught his breath, and when Isak whimpered his gaze shot up to his face, and he remembered Isak must've been far too overstimulated by now, far too sensitive.

Slowly, ever so gently, he started to pull out, moving until he could kneel back and see the empty space he left behind in Isak.

"Fuck," He said in a strained voice as he watched Isak clench around thin air. He looked up to where Isak was already looking at him, his breathing now slower than before but the glow and the pink hue to his skin remained.

Even looked off to the side, leaning towards the nightstand and grabbing some tissues, delicately cleaning the semen off of Isak's stomach, the boy's gaze following his every move.

He threw the tissue into the bin near the bed before taking the condom off, tying it up in a knot and discarding it as well.

Just as he was about to move over to Isak, scoop him up into his arms and never let go, Isak spoke.

"Ev?"

He looked at Isak's face, worry flooding his body when he saw the nervousness in his expression.

"What's wrong, baby?"

He tried not to panic, not to overthink anything as Isak bit his lip softly, only a split second spent in silence but to Even it seemed like eternity.

"Can you please kiss me?"

A breath he didn't know he was holding came out of him as he smiled fondly, leaning over Isak's body until they were face to face and he could cup his cheek in one hand, the other tucking a strand of hair behind his ear.

And slowly, with as much emotion as he could muster, he placed his lips against Isak's, the boy breathing in deeply at the touch, shaky hands being placed on Even's neck.

With a final peck to his lovely Cupid's Bow, Even moved away, nuzzling his nose against Isak's and looking into his eyes.

"Are you okay?" He whispered, afraid if he spoke any louder they would lose this. The intimacy, the privacy.

Isak nodded slowly, licking his lips and smiling gently at him.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm good."

Even hummed quietly, simply taking in Isak's appearance for a few moments in quiet, Isak frowning at him in confusion when he didn't say anything.

"W-What is it?"

"You're beautiful."

He didn't think Isak's skin could get any redder, but it had as his eyes widened slightly, lips parting and a small 'oh' coming out from between them. 

The boy bashfully looked down, Even grinning down at him as he leaned forward, kissing his rosy cheek gently before he moved up.

"I'm going to get you some water, okay?"

Isak nodded slightly as Even moved up, standing from the bed and looking around the room before he located his boxers, quickly pulling them on and sparing one last glance at Isak, the boy now pushing himself under the covers.

He left the room, rushing over to the kitchen and finding two glasses, filling them up with water and taking several gulps of the drink before setting it down on the counter. It wasn't until he was walking back to the room, one of the glasses still in his hand, that he noticed a smile was placed on his face, the euphoria of being here, with Isak almost making his knees buckle. But he kept walking, step after step as he got closer to Isak, to his boy.

He expected to find Isak snuggled up in bed, soft and warm, but instead he walked in and saw the boy sitting up, leaning back on one hand as he looked at his phone, a small frown between his eyebrows until he glanced up, locking his phone and smiling at Even straight away, but still a sense of confusion remained on his features.

"Everything alright?" He said as Isak put his phone away on the small table next to the bed, sighing as Even handed him the glass of water.

"Sonja messaged me."

Even's body tensed up, at a loss for words for a moment as Isak took several sips of the water.

"What did she want?" He couldn't help but notice the small bit of resentment still present in his voice, no matter how much she had apologized, and Isak seemed to notice it too. He handed the glass to Even, the older boy placing it on the nightstand as he lay onto his back under the covers next to Isak. 

The smaller boy was still sitting up, biting his lip as he looked at Even over his shoulder before laying down onto his side, holding himself up on his elbow.

"She just apologized to me, said that she shouldn't have said what she said and that she was wrong." 

Even wasn't looking at him, instead choosing to gaze up at the ceiling, but he could sense Isak's eyes on him. And suddenly, the boy was sliding up closer to him, trailing his nose over Even's cheek before kissing it gently.

"I think you should talk to her," Isak whispered while placing a hand on Even's chest, and that got his attention. His head snapped to the side, looking at the boy next to him to see if he was joking or not.

"Isak, she lied to you. She fucked up, I can't forgive her just like that."

Isak rolled his eyes before levelling Even with a stare, eyebrow arched up and fingers tapping against his collarbone.

"I'm not asking you to forgive her, I'm asking you to talk to her about it. She's been your friend for years, she fucked up, just sort it out," And along with the soft, puppy dog eyes Isak was looking at him with, he tried to persuade Even with the words he must've known Even wouldn't be able to say no to. "Do it for me, please."

Even groaned loudly, tilting his head back onto the pillow as he wrapped an arm around Isak's shoulders, pulling him in closer before looking down at him.

"For you? Anything."

Isak smiled softly, leaning up and allowing their lips to meet once more. Gratitude and affection pouring out of him, making Even tighten his hold around him, pull him in until half of his body was on top of him, his side warm from the contact.

"I'm gonna make you some tea in the morning," Isak spoke with a muffled voice against his lips, a hint of teasing in his tone at the reminder of the first time they had met.

A grin spread across Even's face, warmth filling his chest as he pushed a strand of hair away from Isak's forehead.

"I can't wait."

They separated after a few blissful moments, their eyes twinkling with emotion before Isak let out a sigh, placing his head on Even's chest and throwing his leg over Even's, his arm thrown over Even's stomach.

Even kept his arm around his shoulders, fingertips dancing along the naked skin in circles, soothing Isak and making him even more pliant than before.

And just as he thought Isak was falling asleep, he heard the boy speak up quietly.

"Even?"

"Hm?"

A moment of quiet, Even's hand being pushed into Isak's curls.

"Please don't leave again."

His hand stilled, his breathing stopping for a moment before he relaxed into the mattress, the warmth of Isak's body next to him keeping him calm.

He turned his head, lips grazing the skin of Isak's forehead before he kissed the spot, Isak's hand flying up to Even's neck.

"Never."

And in that moment, with Isak humming contently and falling deeper, further into a calm sleep, Even knew for sure, he would stay.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there we go. After working on this for such a long time I feel weird that it's finished, and also... Kind of proud. This was my very first fic that I actually posted and kept up with and now I finished it. And as much as I'll miss this Even and Isak (and Lea and Mikael), I'm excited to start working on my next project and on more fics for this wonderful pairing and universe.  
> Thank you to everyone that's been here since the start, and anyone that's clicked on it since. It means the world to me that this fic has gotten any sort of attention and I will forever cherish all the Kudos and Comments that you guys have left.   
> Thank you.
> 
> If you want to have a chat, or talk about this fic, any other fics, or even the fic that I have planned next (cause oh boy am I excited to write that one), you can message me on my Tumblr:  isaksforelsket   
> Twitter: vandervaltersen


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